Shadow's blog: "All about me."

well after 4 years. i got kinda tired of not being able to keep friends outside of the military, and decided that life was not for me. in 1998 i got out, and moved to Tucson Az where my parents had moved to. While i was in the navy i met a girl on the internet, and had been talking to her for a while.. well after a couple years in tucson (working for microsoft, and running a couple of internet service providers) i moved this girl here to be with me. her and her daughter moved in with me and we lived together for a year before she decided she didn't love me any more and on my birthday, took her daughter and moved in with some guy she met off the net. it took me two years to get over this girl, to this day i still have no idea what i could have done wrong to make her want to move, but i'm over all that. So in thsoe two years. i was alone all the time, living with my parents (she left me with a lot of bills and i had to declare bankruptcy.. ) I eventually got myself into school at the university of Az. I did three years there, trying to get a degree in Computer Science. right before my last year there i met Shannon Elfering. I fell in love with her pretty quick and despite some pretty glaring problems, i moved in with her soon. well we got into some heavy drugs together. really heavy drugs. as a matter of fact in the 4 years i was together with her, there's hardly a drug that we didn't at least try. We even had her son living with us after a while because Shannon's mother felt like i was very trustworthy and responsible. Well midway through my last year at the Univeristy, shannon got pregnant. Lucky she hadn't been cheating on me lately, which i knew for a fact (she had already cheated on me with 2 guys by this time but i was ignoring that...) so this baby was mine. Abuot 26 weeks into the pregnancy we found out that our baby was going to be a girl and she would be born with only half a heart. This forced me out of school and into the workforce. i quit after my 3rd year and went to work to make sure we had enough money to support the four of us. well aurora was born on aug 5 2004. she was instantly the most beautiful wonderful person i'd ever met. I fell in love the moment i saw her, and was lost the first time i held her. she's my whole world, and nothing is more important to me than her. Well she had 2 open heart surgeries, and has one more on the way to try to give her heart more time before she needs a transplant. hopefully the three surgeries will give her to about age 30. well, in march of 2006 shannon beat me up for the last time. She told me she had TB and was gettin meds for it that would react badly with her bipolar. ia sked her to stay with her mom till it was over, and she refused (she denies all of this to this day. says that she didn't know and she just had a mild asthma attack) anyway. she went nuts one night. destroyed our house. while the kids were sleeping. i was staying out of her way but keeping an eye on the kids at the same time. She chucked a phone at me, cut my head open real good. then came after me swingin. This wasn't the first time she'd beat up on me, but i was sick and tired of it. she knew i wouldn't hit her back. (no need to ever hit women) so she felt fine about beatin on me whenever she felt like it. This time i held her hands andput her on the ground so she couldn't hit me and hopefully would calm down. she proceeded to bite a hole in my chest (i have the bite mark scar right above my nipple prolly will forever) then at 530 am she called my parents (who she forced me to have no contact with) and told them they could 'have their son back'. then she passed out and i took AJ and left. well the police decided to give AJ back to her mom, so i went throughcourt and filed for custody. after lots of hearings and many different things giong on (which i'll get ito if you want but nto here) after almost a year, i'm finnally getting to the point where i;ll get custody.. WEll there it is. my life in a nutshell, not much to it. was shorter than i thought... hehe.. perhaps this will help a lil getting to know me better. =)

This is all about me. I know sounds kinda screwy, but this is the easiest way for me to tell you about my past, and the stuff that's happened in my life that's made me who i am today. I was born in Manchester New Hampshire, lived for 5 years in Kalispell Montana, i don't remember much of that, and around 5 years old moved back to Manchester. This is where i grew up, went to school, etc. Really don't remember much of it till high school. I started high school earlier than most kids so of course i was a little younger than most of the freshman. I was a lot smaller too. I've always been a small skinny person. I've had troubles gaining weight most of my life, and up until quite recently this has given me no end of problems with how i see myself. It used to really make me feel bad about myself. Add to taht it really made me quite unpopular in high school. Kids are mean, and this was true where i went to school as well. I got made fun of by nearly everyone, didn't have many friends, and beat up on quite a bit. I was also in ROTC which didn't really help things, but couldn't seem to even make very many friends there either. My high school years were pretty miserable, no girlfriend, no friends, and this affected how well i did in school because really i just stopped wanting to try and did my best to become invisible and stay out of everyone's way. I was the little guy, and that's who everyone got to pick on. I got suspended a few times for fighting (mostly gettin my ass beat down) and was constantly in the principles office for one thing or another. I was a good kid, just seemed as if trouble followed me around. Anyways. I was in ROTC, because i'd always had an interest in the military. I wanted to go to the Naval Academy in Anapolis, but come senior year, i didn't do well enough on the testing to make it in. So i enlisted in the Navy, my parents signed the waiver letting me enter at 17, and I went off to boot camp a few days after graduation. This changed my life in that people were suddenly not so mean to me anymore. i had an easier time being myself and for he first time in my life i started to make friends. The navy wasn't really all that bad in most ways. I went through boot camp and spent a year in memphis tennesee doing training for my job. (Aviation Electronics Technician) This is wehere i started to learn how to drink and party hard. It was a lot of fun, and I really began to enjoy my life. After i finished up my school, i got sent to Jacksonville Florida, where i was stationed while my air wing was not on deployment to sea. We'd get sent out to an aircraft carrier a month here.. a few months there.. and i ended up doing 2 six month deployements to the mediterranian on three different ships. I was on the USS Enterprise, USS Saratoga, and the USS Eisenhower. I have been all over the world to pretty much every country except russia, asia and austrailia. I was there in 1996 when Saddam broke the no fly zone and shot down one of our planes. in fact the plane he shot down was a memeber of my squadron. I worked on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier. if you've ever seen Top Gun, the guy who wears a white shirt and holds his thumbs up under the plane when it takes off.. That was me!.