Destined For Destiny's blog: "Jokes"

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization" , a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. " Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?" Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?" Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

You'll Change Your Known Definition of HR (Human Resource) After Reading The Joke Given Below After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days. Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir! Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir! Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! Have a Nice Day.

Cool Break-up letter. & nice moral !!! JJJJ A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note: Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. Take Care, Ricky Moral of the story: If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

This particular joke won an award for the best joke competition Organized in Britain: A man walks into a bar in Londonand ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time." The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canadaand I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. " The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" . " The only thing is ............ ... ............ ... ............ ... ....... ........ ............ ... ............ ... I just quit drinking!!!

Maths Teacher : If you have 12 choclates and you give 5 to Jenny, 3 to Estell and 4 to Mira then what will u get???? ..... ....... ........ ......... Student : 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

.....EmOn

Missed Call Xian and Aryan got tired using cell phones and for a change, they decided to use really ancient methods of communication.They decided to use pigeons to send messages. So they went and bought expensive carrier pigeons from the New market in Dhaka and found to their joy that the pigeons indeed could be trained and the birds very easily learnt to return directly to their respective homes. And so this scheme worked very fine. One day Xian sends his pigeon. When the pigeon reaches to Aryan, it is with out message. Aryan picked his mobile and asked Xian "Why iss this joke? The pigeon is without any message!!!" Xian replyed "Hey man....Relax, this was a miss call." ******** 4 - Letter words? A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Well, said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?" "Oh mama"' she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic"... suddenly she burst out crying. But, mama, as soon as we returned, Rex started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home! Please mama! "Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you mama," Sarah replyed. I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!" Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible words!" Sobbing, Sarah said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook..." ******* Short Jokes PATIENT: Doc, my husband passed away only one year after marriage. DOCTOR :Lucky man,he didn't suffer long ******** PATIENT: (on phone) I am feeling sick. When can I come and see you? DOCTOR: How about next week. PATIENT: And if I die by that time? DOCTOR: Then you can always cancel the appointment. ******** PATIENT:When can I come and see you? DOCTOR: How about next week. PATIENT: And if I die by that time? DOCTOR: Then you can always cancel the appointment. ******** More Will Come....Try To Check Out My Blogs Frequently.....Have GR8 Days....EmOn. (www.fubar.com/masteremon)

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answers the woman. "We don't have a maid," says the man. The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house." The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband." The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?" The maid asks, "What will I have to do?" The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the Bitch and the jerk she's with." The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool." A long pause and the man asks, "Oops..! Is this 2261-1382?"