bangaltigertina's blog: "Love passed by.."

Even though I woke up with a migraine and all, I think I'm finally starting to adjust that my love is not coming back. He doesn't even text me to tell our son good morning nor myself. It if finally opening my eyes to the fact that WHY would I want someone that would just walk away and can't even be nice to me for two seconds? So, hopefully today I can keep in this mind frame and concentrate on just me and my kids and of course God. God is the only Family I have and the only one that loves me and can get me through this. Plus, I've realized that there are so many more people in this world with more problems than myself. I have my health (as far as I know) and my kids. I only wish that the ex could see how I helped him when he was down on his luck, took him in, bought clothes for his other son and tried to make things work. In his eyes though, I am and never was ANYTHING to him, so.....best of luck to him and we will get by without him. Now, the sun is shining and I'm hoping this day will be good. Tina

You know, the one thing that REALLY hurts me is the fact that he doesn't call to check on our little man and see if he is okay. Tonight, he is out at a bar with no concern that his son needs diapers....knowing I have no money to go get them. He surely is not the person I thought he was. No concern about US (me and my kids and my mother that I was supporting) gets thrown out on the street, yet whenever I have suggested leaving this state, he threatens me with court. I don't have family to help me or go to so what the HECK does he expect me to do? My nerves are so shot right now, not sure how much more I can take. May God hold us in his grace and mercy.

This has been the worst absolute few weeks that I can remember. I was working for 7 years at our local hospital and got let go. My little man's father had only just moved in with us for a couple months and once he found out I had no job, he abandoned us for the most part. I was in love with him but he did not love me. We have a beautiful son together and I am just flabber gasted that he could just leave and then when he does come around, it was like I wasn't in the room. He speaks to me condensendingly and tells me EVERYTHING is all me and my fault. I am not that kind of person. I took him in when he needed help and helped raise his 13 year old son and this is how he treats me. So, I am here trying to meet people to talk to....have fun with.....and forget about him. I don't want someone that could do something like that. I have no car....it belonged to him and is an old car with over 200,000 miles on it. I'm going to lose my home we live in and my other two kids now.....we are in another battle. Great timing, huh? God's will will be what it will be though. Forgive me for being a downer right now. Just lots on my mind. More later.....