Awww to funb such a great night liek really blissful had sio nmuch fun martinis and cocktails and lots of dancing and then a water bed i loved the water bed lol such a good time
y do i have ot feel anything i hate it i really do its liek feel sooo ahhhhh .. its like i hate to love u cuz its like u dont even care if u cared it wouldtn have been an hour it wouldnt have been 3 days it wouldnt be liek this u wouldnt lie to me and i wouldnt have to feel this way
so i did it i called u i called u over and over yesterday and nothing so i wanst gonna but i did ansd still nothing .... i'm closed wont get nothing her form this point on i dont think sept maybe a smile and hello ...
toniht was good i had fun me and my girsl watched movies did a stip tease work out ate ice cream lol my gal pall brought it :p then worked out more ... still sleepless mind u but in good mood at the moment
I feel like no one cares at all these days i dont know what it is i ffeel vary alone and i guess thats how i am ment to feel ... i dont know
and i am listening to stuff i used to and thaink of old perfromances i did its weird its vary weird to remember b4 and wish it could be how it was and i guess i wilkl just have to find a way to feel that wya again .. i dont know
i feel let down by almost everyonme round me right now how there not really being by my side when i need it but i guess lessions leard its like
things iwth my family not good things with my relatioships not good i think the only friend of mine whos even here for me and lsitening is getting busdy do i am getting lonely but i glas she happy it makes me smile
my 21 bday is next week and i had b4 planned to go to vegas but due to my many trips taking too much time off and my bills i wont be going ... not only that but i dont think i will even go out
my aunt is b eing evil and she like segrating me from my fmaily
she is evil and evry9ine is scard of her so if she says be a bitch to sheila ppl r thats jsut how it is
and i guess its another bday no one will care about i havnt had a bday cake since i was 13 no one really cares about my bday i never even got a sweet 16 sighs .... so who says 21 will matter i cant even get my self a new out fit its depressing
u know its customary to tell someone u love them b4 u hang up i always sit one hte line waiting for the i love u ... normaly when u know so,meone u care about is upset u try and be more affectionate but i just wait .. and u just say bye
so everthing is jsut going alolto hell but thats life i guess
i have opted to show i cant control thingsi n my nroal manner get a new piercings miudn u i dont have naything i wato pierce so i am going to a new form of body art
i am getting a tattoo for my 21 bday
Sooooo great news my loans r set my scholarship is set everthing is good to go and i will be going in april after all the freekouts of it not working r done yay :D
Sooo my mom went t me today ....
Sheila did u know Sebby[sebbys my 6 year old cuzin] thinks ur a rock star....
lol he said to her today
when i grow up i wanna be a RockStar Like Sheila
that made my night it really did
You know its a pretty great day ... today is me and Jons day it jsut kinda sucks we cant be in the same place its been a year and i jsut wish we could be in the same place right now
