All you need is cancer's blog: "my first fucking blog"

Many people have used this argument with me before. Its not bad. Lots of people like it. Well, there are a shit ton of people who watch american idol weekly and my credulity does not permit me to believe that american idol is something mentally engaging. Seriously, people don't want good typically. Look at american idol. The premise of the show is to create more of the same. We are not looking for new or innovative. We aren't even looking for interesting. We are looking for comfort. We are looking for familiar. So there you have american idol. More of the same. We are making the next great american pop star who will last about oh five minutes in the lime light. I just like new and different. I don't watch tv anymore because of that. I buy books and I bounce around from author to author hoping to find someone who can give me something new and different in their writing. I like writing style for that. I'm a writing fashion person. Not a clothing person. I hate social trends. I hate posing for fucking sake. I hate the concept of pretty. I swear I wish we all did look completely different. Then we could just enjoy our aesthetics for the sake of it, but everything becomes homogenized and boring. Mutation would be so great. Everyone a real different color. Different kinds eyes. Some people with scales some with fine hair all over. Imagine that. What kind of beautiful world we would live in. You couldn't be racist because eveyone would be completely different. You couldn't have a clique because what would be the point in adopting some stupid form of ostentatious dress or mediocre standard of beauty when everyone is already a walking piece of art. I hate everything because of this one fact. I'm cynical and jaded and tired of what I see because its all the same. Everywhere I look and everyone I see, they're all the same. Its getting so I can't even have a good conversation except for with a few people. God I'm a cynical bastard, but I'm tired of this self centered shit I am bombarded with all the time. I'm tired of everyone elses' rules of fashion and being fashion. Philosophy is even fashion. Fucking green day wouldn't be popular if not for saying,"Hey, look at us. We hate Bush too. Pay attention. Buy our shit. PLEASE BUY OUR SHIT!" Everything is a fad now. Looking more intelligent than you are is apparently the ultimate expression of style on the internet.

Why do people make morphs that morph them from something they look nothing like into their picture? I understand the concept of wishful thinking. We all have a little bit of insecurity as far as how we look, but trying to cover it up with a pciture of some model that you look nothing like is really silly. Or a fantasy picture. Or something from a horror movie. I think if I ever did one of those I'd have to use a picture of myself from when I was seven or eight years old. At least that would be truthful. Yeah check me out I'm this old mentally. At least then I'm not a hot model, fairy, psycho killer, demon, hobbit with a heart full of napalm. Give me danger.

But people who have music for their cell phone fucking ring are annoying. What the hell makes them think they're ass backward opinion of good music is equal to mine is beyond me. I don't want to fucking hear what you like. I want to hear a fucking ring. It doesn't ease my thirty second wait until your voice mail to listen to the newest piece of shit you like. Seriously, I'm not gaining anything out of that. I just sit their hoping for my eyes to boil in my head to alleviate the pain of your stupid fucking music. The only people with any brains who do this dumb fucking shit have the minute quantity of sense it takes to put classical music on their ringer. Its the least abrasive style of music I can think of. I seriously want to kill the next person who has some piece of pop crap or whatever the hell they like as a ringer. Fuck your fucking bells and whistles. If that is what amazes you you must be the most fucking mundane person on the face of the god damned planet. How friggin asinine do you have to be to enjoy the idea that you have instead of a ring some annoying piece of music you won't even like in a week on your friggin phone to annoy anyone that calls you. God, please, and I know you're the ones having children. You are the reason the future sucks.

I'm currently shopping around for someone to do my forearm sleeve. Its a dawn of the dead/porn of the dead piece based around really sensual looking zombie girls dripping blood. I'm keeping ye olde bible quote, "When hell is full the dead will walk the earth." in it. Now, as I said I'm shopping around for an artist. I was trying to find the guy who did my left shoulder, pero no tengo suerte. While asking around I was referred to someone that specializes in classic. I know classic is popular with the whole rockabilly and punk set that I have some friends in, but I don't like it. To be more honest, I'd hate to have glorified nineteen thirties flash work tattooed on me. Seriously, how can you make a style out of a lack of artistic skill. Its based upon fashion that worships the archaic. I hate that. Friggin SCA nineteen fifties is not for me. You can like what you like, but its a lot like that stupid organ thing in baseball. That four or five bar scale that is used to lead up to the play ball scale. Thats crap. Its nothing. Its devoid. I can't picture wanting something like that. Anyway, thats my rant on classic tattoos. neh neh neh neh neh neh neh da da da daaa daa ddaaaaa play ball.

Seriously, I don't like songs about cars, girls, or horror movies that I'm the only that has really seen them. Seri-fucking-ously, is this just an actual attempt by local bands to be as bland as possible. Lets all write songs about the same shit. This will be great. Woohoo lets all sound like the Ramones. That will go well too. Can we all sound like Sum 41 now? That would be really fun. Lets all sing about demons and death if we all do it there will be no choice, but like us because everything is the same. Lets all write about money and escalades. We don't need to be deep because its all crap anyway. There is no actual culture in the united states past its ridiculous corporate consumer culture. Everything is currently being made with the likes of teenage girls in mind. Its great because marketing people like shit. Whoopity fucking crap doesn't that just make you want to shoot up does it?

I don't know if its just me, but whenever I go into walmart I feel like I need to shower, shave and get a hair cut immediately upon leaving. Its just every time I see a greasy mullet and a dirtier hat riding over a vacant stare and toothless grin I feel dirty. I feel this need to separate myself from the people I see there. I don't think I'm better than anyone really. Its just I find shopping so irritating and the people in walmart are so obnoxious some times. So yeah think I should cut my hair into a mohawk again? Hurray non sequitur.

Everybody wants to dance in a playpen But nobody wants to play in my garden I see the hippies on an angry line Guess they don't get my meaning I'm enchanted by the birds in my blossoms I'm enamored by young lovers on the weekend I like the Fourth of July When bombs start flashing And I wish I had a shiny red top A bugle with a big brass bell would cheer me up Or maybe something bigger that could really go pop! So I could make the gardening stop Come out to play Come out to play And we'll pretend it's Christmas Day In my atomic garden All my scientists are working on a deadline So my psychologist is working day and night time They say they know what's best for me But they don't know what they're doing And I'm glad I'm not Gorbachev 'cause I'd wiggle all night Like jelly in a pot At leats he's got a garden with a fertile plot And a party that will never stop Come out to play Come out to play And we'll pretend it's Christmas Day In my atomic... I hope there's nothing wrong out there I'm watching from my room inside my room Come out to play Come out to play Come out to play And we'll pretend its christmas day in my atomic garden

You know I feel sorry for Henry Rollins. He never achieved his real goal in life. Sure he's successful. Has his own tv show. his own band. He's influential in the music industry. He gets to be in kind of crappy movies every once in a while. He just never got to be a chip n dale dancer. It so sad. But when he gets up on stage wearing just exercise shorts and nothing under them girating his pelvis it just gets to be a little obvious that he wanted to dance in a thong. I'm sorry Henry. They just don't accept people with old misfits tattoos into chip n dales dance studios.

Just think what could have happened had Joseph taken it upon himself to act his right in those times to his illegitimate son. Joseph legally could have killed jesus. He could have been rid of Mary. Under the law of the time Jesus was a bastard. Just think what could have happened had Joseph hated his step son. Beat the shit out of him. Abused him emotionally and physically. Imagine what a psychologically traumatized messiah could have done. Force feeding someone fish and then performing the miracle of the fish and loaves. Bursting the man's guts with a glut of tuna. Killing someone to resurrect them over and over again. Serial killer christ is not something we want to mess around with. Drowning drunks with conjured wine from what they've already imbibed. I love the bible.

Well, I wasn't trying to protect my first born because thankfully for myself and everyone else that has not happened. Anyway, bibilical humor aside someone left a good blood trail outside my door. There is a couple hand prints and its all drops. The rain washed away where they might have gone off of the sidewalk. I say they because it could have been a very large female who was on their period. LIke very large because there was a decent trail. Like a level fifty goth wiccan priestess. Or gold club mexican guy finally struck as opposed to knocking on my door at 2AM.