CG's blog: "My thoughts"

Does he ever wonder how I am? Does he ever wonder how things would have been? Does he ever think about me? Does he ever think about comming back?

If I could take back anyting just to talk to you again I would If I could turn back time so things were the way they were back then I would Of I could be ther in person to say 'I am sorry' I would Please forgive me for what I have done. Will you?

It is so nice when you can re-connect with people from the past. You are older and, maybe, wiser. It seems like lots has happened in life, but realy not much has. Feelings are there but maturity is saying to hold back, wait until the right time, but keep the talking going. Life is interesting, and always full of suprises. Just remember that there is always some one who likes you and you have no clue.

There they were years ago, Not knowing, feelings there others around. life happens, They go separate ways. meeting years later, big smiles, maybe wishing, things to be different. Loosing touch again fate happening, talking again. feelings start, all over.

In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me I can stay right here forever in your arms And there ain't no way - I'm letting you go now - And there ain't no way - and there ain't no how I'll never see that day..... Chorus: 'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always We will be together for all our days Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face - always Mmmm, baby In your heart - I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me And when we're apart, I know how much you miss me I can feel your love for me in your heart And there ain't no way - I'm letting you go now - And there ain't no way - and there ain't no how I'll never see that day... Repeat Chorus (I wanna wake up every morning) In your eyes - (I can still see the look of the one) I can still see the look of the one who really loves me (I can still feel the way, that you want) The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me (I can still see love for me) I can still see love for me in your eyes (I still see the love) And there ain't no way - I'm letting you go now- And there ain't no way - and there ain't no how I'll never see that day... Repeat Chorus 2x I'm keeping you forever and for always I'm in your arms Written by Shania Twain and Mutt Lange.

They wake up in different beds for the first time in a while and first thoughts are of each other and wishing they were together. Realizing the day they spring out of bed. She is off to the salon with her girlfriends to get ready and he is waiting for his buddies to show up. As she sits getting he hair done, she starts to feel the butterflies. Her friends try to distract her by talking about him and her. Her hair is done, make up is next. It's almost time. He sits outside relaxing with friends, having a few drinks, joking and laughing. Talking about anything and everything and especially what it is going to be like. He looks at the time. She arrives at the chapel and goes to the bride room. As she openes the door she smells the flowers. As she walks in she sees the iris's all over. She smiles. Time to get into the dress, its almost time. He gets into his tux, best man helping straighten his tie. They climb into the truck and head for the church. As they get closer, the butterflies come. His frind notices and tries to distract him. Standing alone in the brideroom, she hears the door open. She turns to see her dad. He steps in and closes the door and stares. 'You look beautiful!!' he says. She starts to cry, he gives her a hug. 'Time to go' he says. Father and daughter stand in front of the doors to enter the church, waiting for them to open. The doors open slowly, all the guests stand and turn to look. He looks up and sees her, his heart almost stopping. she looks down and only sees him. Eyes lock, smiles grow. Walking slowly down the aisle, trying not to run, hand in hand with her dad. Getting up to the front, not seeing anyone but each other. Dad hands off to him after a hand shake and hug. There they stand, trying to listen to the preacher over their beating hearts. Fianly able to say their vows. Crying and laughing, hands holding tight. Ceremony ends, preacher says,'I now pronounce you husband and wife'. They kiss before he says they can. Everyone laughs. They turn to the guests, everyone cheers. They run down the aisle, needing to go outside. Spectators cheer as the newlyweds embrace and kiss.

At the airport, where it all began, they stand locked in embrace, not wanting to let go, not wanting to say good bye. Tears fall freely as 'I love yous' are passed over and over. Overhead the man says' now boarding for flight 644 to St. Paul, at gate #3.' They look up, not believing what they heard. 'Time for me to go', she says, 'I don't want to miss my flight.' One last hug, one long last kiss. She turns and walks away not turning back for fear she would stay. He stands there wishing for her to turn, even for one last look. At last she does, just as she goes thru the gate, tears streaming down her face. She says 'I love you' but she knows he can not hear. His heart sinks knowing she is going away, not knowing when they will see each other again. He runs to the glass just to see the plane taxi to the runway and take off. He says' I love you'. She sits in her seat by the window, watching the airport fade away. He walks slowly back to the truck, heart feeling empty. As he goes to climb in, he sees something on his seat. A card. He pickes it up, he can smell her. He quickly opens it. He smiles as he reads, tears well up in his eyes. 'I love you and always will. I could not answer you when you asked, too scared to say what was in my heart. My answer is YES!!! He smiles, he jumps and hollers. Heart fills with joy and happiness. She sits on the plane wondering if he has seen the card and if he has read it yet. She smiles. He drives home, wanting to get on the computer to message her. She gets off the plane at the transfer point, logs onto a computer, sees his message. THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I AM SO VERY HAPPY YOU WANT TO BE MINE! I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN ON THE EARTH!. She smiles she cries. She calls home to say she will be another week. They understand, and say bring him back. We need to meet him and welcome him. She runs to the ticket counter and explanes her story, they smile and help her. On the plane going back. Off the plane,calling for a ride. Gets to where she want to be....opens the door to see him sitting there.....says 'hi' he turns around. Puzzled he says' what?!?!, You should be home by now.' she says 'I am home'. He grabs her off her feet and they twirl around and around. they laugh and kiss...........

One the day they met, the world stopped. nothing else mattered. Across the people and the long way between them, they saw nothing but each other. Slowly they walked towards each other, small smiles on faces, hearts beating fast. They get face to face and just look, hearts pounding hard in chest. Then arms wrap around tightly and hold afraid of letting go.Around them people look and smile..young love ...they think. Theyfianly releasebut keeps hands locked together, staring and smiling. Walking towards the luggage comes. Their they stand not knowing what to say or what to do. Fianly saying 'hi' and laughing. Walking towards the truck, hand in hand, talking about the flight, laughing. Getting home, not knowing what to do. Meeting people, getting very shy, turn red. Escape to room. 'I'm glad we met, i'm glad you came, I did not think I could love someone more but I do'. Going out spending time alone getting to know each other. New places, running into friends, having fun, getting home late. Climbing into bed, butterflies starting, hands start roaming. Start caressing face, moving to neck, then to shoulders, chest next. Looking into eyes knowing what is next..............

I've got something thats realy good, I dont want to mess it up. But afraid I will how to stop i dont know. Do I back off or let it be. I've been known to mess up and my only hope is to ....... ummmmmm........ not mess up.

feeling so alone, but knowing there are others around. it doesnt seem to make any difference. as i sit here and think,i see how life is and it is depressing......the only lights are 3 special people.two are family and one i have yet to meet.trying to have friends but have none. how to get happy again.....i do not know......willing to try anything...