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Humans stare into mirrors adjusting themselves until they are just right. How bizarre is this custom. A hair out of place a shirt wrinkled. They dress as if they could hide who they are. The mirror tells them how they are seen but not how they are viewed. What defines that is how they reflect off of others. An example.....Mother Teresa never thought of herself as a “good person” When she became sick a few years before her death and got better her quote was “God doesn’t want me yet I have more feet to taste.” She never viewed her self as a good person but she knew she was a good person through the reflection off of those who she helped. Humans come up with labels to describe themselves. Fast prepackaged phrases when it is only others who can accurately describe them. It’s a fascinating custom, looking into the mirror. 
This job i took has taught me much about what is important. A few short months ago i took a 18 wheeler off the interstate at about 60 mph. Life flashed i made the right choice and it was over. I survived. For a seccond time i am reminded how short life is. I get a phone call today informing me of a mans (whos job i replaced) wife died today. He worked his whole life, beat cancer only to have his wife of over 25 years die only 11 months after he retired. IS This is why we were sent. To know the sorrow to understand loss and pain. So much of it here. How they survive i'll never know. So much is left undone so much left unsaid So much time wasted. Tomorrow only exists if you live to see it.
I see people behaving badly everywhere I look. When a person can stand in an exit and when asked to move it is they who are outraged. When you are able to trample someone over a sale on a sweater, some shoes or some mundane item and feel justified. When the word “friend” give someone the right to abuse the very sanctity of trust and respect. It is not how one dies that is how they are remembered but how they lived. The children of Eden stride the earth as giants. Never understanding that it will be them that life one day dwarfs. All of this behavior stems from the belief that they are entitled. They are broken and some damaged beyond repair. In the end the damaged children of Eden will have much to answer for and being damaged will not be an excuse
It’s the End of the year and I sit and wonder how much time is left. What will the New Year bring? What will be important in this New Year and what will be left behind? A road that’s never built can never be traveled. A road that is not traveled will eventually grow over as if it was never there. It’s Funny how nature takes care of these things with out our help. Fate never built a road and nature never waited on anyone. 
It’s cold outside with rain coating everything with ice. As I walk I feel it tugging on the warmth of my breath. Time crawls and it seems that it will almost stop. I am at peace with what is to come. I always have been. As I walk it brings back memories of a place where I have yet to go but yet I can still remember. I listen to the silence and it wraps around me like a blanket. Silence has always comforted me. It reminds me of a choice I made so long ago. It reminds me of home. It doesn’t come as a surprise that most are not comfortable in the silence. I guess It reminds us of things only whispered
Holiday means Holy day so please put the atm card away. Think about that when your at walmart listening to the hounds coursing.
The sun set the sky on fire this morning. Colors of orange and red lit up and quickly faded to blue. It was almost like the flame could be touched then it was gone. Illumination shows us many things that can’t be touched. It is seen but when it's reached for it's gone. Illusion or reality? So often both are the same.
btw the horizonal lines are strait.
As I walk I think about what was said so long ago. I don’t remember who said it nor exactly what words were said. Yet this feeling sits in the back of my mind asking to be free. The air is cold and frost has formed. I find myself taken back to a peaceful time, the time before the choice. I would have never guessed what lay ahead and if I had, would I had chosen to go? The meaning was clear even though the words were not. As clear as my vision at night, I have always been blessed with the ability to see in places too dark for most. This place where frost kills and light that fades Is were I feel at peace. It is where....... I remember. 
I stare at the horizon remembering that I am here by choice. So much has changed since I was last here. So much has been lost. Faith compassion hope, what good are these things if the standard to measure them is so low? I see the glimmer of these things in some. I have come to think of them as believers. I am not a believer. There was I time when I was but now I watch. I have watched people who have survived great trials and have climbed overwhelming mountains only to set the bar lower. When they are asked why the bar has been lowered they struggle to answer. I’ve watch people who choose validation over friendship only to ask why they have no friends.When having friends should have been the only validation required. It seems that having more friends that are less has become the standard. So many excuses are made for this behavior, when our behavior is all we really can control. It’s odd that behavior good or bad must be explained. Oh he’s having a bad day or hey she felt generous. Bad behavior should only be apologized for and never be excused and good behavior should be expected and never explained. This is not what exists in the world. No I am not a believer. I drink the wine and realize that with each day I am away from home it grows more bitter. As I watch the horizon fade into the night I know one day the wine will be sweet again. I smile as I walk with bags packed and with thirst whispering I watch.
Aim high and if you miss your still high. The words ring in my ears as if said yesterday. Its funny what is remembered and what is left behind. I stand at the edge looking and remembering. I stare into the sun knowing the damage that I risk. I stare and stare till the spots of my foolishness last long after I stopped. The warmth in my eyes tell me all that living a long life is far worse than living a good life. Faith! Yes Faith that can lead thought the darkest of times. Faith that at the end there will be peace of mind and maybe just maybe the light will be seen and not just viewed.
