Midgit RIP TEDDY J's blog: "old songs/writings hahaha"

rise to the occasion rapidly we all fall down nothing more to be expected this is the case when drugs are present it seems your at your greatest point but youve fallen hard again your own worst enemy you just wont take the time to see everyone around you smiles theyre all in denile too nothings fine lifes not great kill yourself a little more each day more of your life escapes its too late youll never break free destroy me thats all you keep doing each and every time you risk it you kill a little more of me spirits die and dont recover later youll uncover what youve done by then the time will have passed the bad remains the life is gone death is gaind drugs just destroy destroy the pain destroy the life

leave me here beneath the wreck no one will know but you the pain i feel is just too real to fade away lock me up and leave me please dont ever try to look back because every look is another nail being driven into my heart

follow me into the darkness lets create our history a race to freedom one step towards defeat

falling down into the dark desperate times have made there mark first impressions aren't what they seem you took away the best part of me now as i stand it hurts to be it hurts to feel it hurts to breath cant you see what you've done you hit me with the force like a loaded gun now all thats left of me is the misery you made you broke the heart i had with your cruel words you stabbed now as i fall away from me what can i possibly try to be how can i live like this everyone can see the scars i carry on my wrist and in my heart i fall further from me i fall further from you im falling away from all i once knew

misery in my heart fall out of love right at the start if everything was meant to be is loneliness my destiny running in circles caught in the time run out of rational state of mind determination without speed what will it take to make me free it hurts so much when you make me bleed but still i want you here with me hold me closely wipe my eyes say its ok baby we'll survive we'll make a life well have some kids and we'll live happily again

i wish i could just forget about you but your everywhere in everything i see i think about yesterday and where i am today i look back on everything in disbaleif

one day when im older ill be able to raise you to grow up big and strong. ill be the best mom i can be and i will make sure you have everything you need.ill teach you all the good things i know like how to swim, cook and be silly.ill help you with math and spelling and encourage you to do what ever it is you want to do with your life. ive made so many mistakes in my life and i wish i could change some of the things ive done but thats just wishful thinking.i screwed up big time these past couple months and its not fair im sorry.for a second i thought about how things would be if i hadnt screwed up and if i had moved out sooner than maybe you would have had a better chance. maybe i would have found out sooner and maybe you wouldnt have been put through so much.you made me realize how much i really do care and how right people were. i do honestly want to be a mom someday weather im with the right guy or weather i have to do it by my self but i want to make sure i have a stable place to live and a good environment and the ability to take care of you the way a child needs to be cared for. if i dont ever get the chance again i guess ill understand but i can only hope that this is just a snag in my blanket and i can one day attempt to mend it until then your in my heart and on my mind each and everyday

you said i said . im so sorry i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me its not fair to you im sooo sorry i have all this shit lost inside me i want to be able to give you everything but i dont know how I AM A PERSON i need things that nobody is willing or able to give me. blood falls with the weight of a billion salty tears as i sit in the darkness just me and all my fears

lingering in the distance is the laughter she once laughed but boys and girls have broken her into something much less

live and let live the things that may but let die the things that must in a life less than desireable