The Most Wanted Outlaw's blog: "Poetry"

..many waken sleepless nights, i think to myself and what i have become to accomplish the goals and the attitude i bring to myself.and yet i wonder if many things back then was well worth it or i set a bad example on the actions, i have did or said to make myself feel this way.unwanted,broken hear ted that i still have inside me with these missing pieces of my life that is not there anymore. but i wonder how i could change it and cont on being someone i wanted to be and not the fool everyone thought i was or turning out to be at the time or down the road in the future.the ways of many directions i have went and yet i seem to follow the wrong ones many times then not to let myself end up with the bs and foolish drama mistakes to let me end up with these many emotions i have felt threw out time. sometimes i just only wish i could just go back and hit like a button or took just that one step to make me think that i may have did alot wrong or just that one thing that started it all to take me down these many unlovely and sad roads that many people other then myself has seen before.but it some ways i might be able to compare or in some way could express the same as other people might do about these things, not all of us want to see it or want to hear it enough to believe it and so for. sometimes i almost believe in some of these songs and the music i listen to speak to me in signs that i need to do things better or complete a different task on making myself a better person or see things a lot different mostly what i have thought and seen since i have travel down this road that many people call love but yet some may call it becoming more of an adult and exploring the world and wonders of it but in the end everything right about it and there is no wrong answers unless u see something that be a lil different to make you feel and say "that maybe this is not the way to go and see if this will be better and go from there". but whatever you may decide and go with hopefully it makes your a better person and believe it will work and pay off one day and not end up with some of these stories of poetry that i have cont to write when i feel the needs of it but until the next time and future ones to come hope everything shall be better in the end. 

as i sit here on the dark side of town and yet im too far from home on this spring like morning from the waking of the rain that slowly has stop and moved away from this area that i have settled in overnight and the day before to wonder my mind and brainstorm what my thoughts that run threw my mind on a wet spring like night/morning.many thoughts come to my mind as the rest sleep onto the night and wake up in the bright sunny morning as i would sit here and wait for dawn to arrive. sometimes it kills me inside for the choices i have made it life and i almost feel like there not much i can change or do to myself to get myself being a better person but changing some of my ways and stepping up and becoming more of an active postive person then an negative emo,sad lonely person as i sit here and write about from day in and day out whenever i feel the need to sit here and go on about things or feeling i feel each night of the week. sadly i have been called everything in the book and many more but as u read all my poerty u make the judgement cause my own option could mean nothing but a smack in the face for a wake up call but sometimes i feel that could be the jump start to get me back in the direction i was heading on until many things has thrown me off to the side and make me feel like its not worth it anymore.i just feel like i sometimes have a split part of me or 2 sides of myself that comes out now and then when the time is needed but i know many things i have to build for myself and i know many will say confidence and determination and i would say u definely have that one right from the get go cause those 2 things i try to drive on besides the passion for the active things i do to keep myself in line and try to get myself in shape as well to know i can build and grow to become someone i want to be and not be something less then i have been working on to become...yet i just may need someone or people stand behind me as well and help me go threw this together and in the end we all could be stronger if we all pull together but i guess i will never know until people or others look on and read these poerty i write each time whenever i feel its needed but one day it could pay off for me and until next time i will leave it as that.......