Impossible Me's blog: "Poetry"

Whisper, like you lay dying. But never say my name. Scream of deafend ears I will not share your shame. My eyes no longer see you, They are blind to your spell But touch me with that want and the tears begin to swell. I'm not as broken as I seem My timid heart beats strong but my dreams are still yours as if I was with you all along. You string me like a puppet of forgotten childhood play yet your hollow whispers have still yet to fade away. Dissolve, like your emotions pack me away with your lies. turn me into those enemies. from which you run and despise. Before I leave you here lost in your watery apathetic disaster. whisper to me, tell me what you really want, and I'll forget after. One word, one truth, one time in a place where time suspends. And I swear to you, I promise That this will be forever, the end.

Emotions stirring from a wind that has brought back a pain that had been lost amongst my sorrow. Forever, wishing you would walk away just waiting to see the iced walls of tommorow. I can't laugh in the face of your shameful destruction and I cry at the wounds that are left open. Lucid apparitions of what used to be twist burn and speak forth from my imagination So monstrous I turn to find your arms, I cannot bear to face my own creation. This is when I melt. This is when I cry. this is when I fall away. That reflection, I stare at. That is not my own she's a happy lie who stares back from my mirror Lost to your anger a victim who has lost all hope in flying, lost in all her filtered terror. Ensanquined wrists of crimnson are not without regret. Left with only a tale of a love , a lie. It is all my illusions that keep me from myself. imagination, keeps me awake, I promise not to cry. This is when I break this is when I scream this is when I bleed this is when I fall Away

So this is what happens in the after, After life, after love, after you. Life dwindles to pattern. Day in day out the same stupid boring lie. I can't recall your image as well as I once could. losing you to life. Though your eyes, dark and painful. still burn deep into my soul. I want no more then to rid myself of your tortured resistent memory. To never think of your aphotic tastes or your reminiscent touch. But as time moves by I find you there, stealing my battered thoughts. Why after all this time Must you continue to torment my bruised heart? I should be done and I thought I was, then here you are again and again. Forever to rape my freedom with your arrogant misplaced stares of disapproval.

Distant and withdrawn my mind wanders through dark and bitter hallways Doubt races through my veins, controlling, overtaking any happiness that was. Every passing moment sends me reeling. I want your thoughts. I want you in my head. I want your breath touching my pallid , tormented skin. I want the color that remains to twist and meld into my wretched, emptied body. Walk away with a smile leave me to the animal you beat and left behind. bloody with the smell of your ravenous hatred and lowered self worth. You called me angel then ripped the innocence from my silken, honest wings. You held me close to suck the independence from my now black soul. I walk now with bitter discontent, How do I leave all of this behind? How do I leave you to My soiled and stained memories. I need to know. Give me the white letters on big black screen that will finally say " THE END"

So thats what you left me. Just dreams pulling on silver cords of memories that I'd rather not keep. Your a lesson I learned never touch a raging fire Never let your heart guide your emotions, you'll get burned. And burn I did, scorched by your introspective touch melted by your poetic words they were all lies, like your life Apathy runs my feelings for you now, I see you with your high and mighty crowd, so much better then me, then you. Your not so special, Your not all that, Just a player dressed in black. just trash with an intellectual mind, who cares? I took my heart back and it's mine, Never for you to break again, not for your words to trample it to pieces.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, the rain just fades away, and the days that have passed swirl around in happy wonder. Sometimes when I fall asleep the lies and disdain of this world become nothing more then the truth I have always been seeking Sometimes when I sit here at this desk, I think that maybe just maybe I can be more then I am. I can be whatever I really wish to become. Sometimes just sometimes I am forced to believe there is hope beyond my furthest expectations above anything that keeps me down. Sometimes, I am beautiful, not just a rotting insolence for society. I am Happy, not a whirling cloud of dark turmoil spreading sorrow and pain. And though most of my world is aphotic and underkept, it is the sometimes of my life that keeps me going, that keeps me from becoming what is always expected.

Close your eyes can feel me lingering so very near? Whispering words you never wanted to hear? Does my absence make your skin quiver. Do my thoughts touching yours make you shiver. This to you is a a nightmare, a wicked dream. From which you awake, longing to scream. Yet you can't bear to let my shadow go. You watched as I stood and let your sorrow grow. An Angel with crimnson wings, causing your heated apathy. Smiling, laughing as your mind swirls with insanity. Bitter & wretched i've turned your shallow heart. twist you, mold you into the nothing you are.

I watched as you slipped away in a postmortal silence. That end was a begining to the end of my darkened bliss. I saw as you changed from a man of back handed dignity. I stumbled back as a black moth emerged from your cocoon. your sticky legs reaching for my obvious fear. Your Ebony wings enfolding around my every lucid thought. My apathy swirling away into the curiosity of your aphotic stare. I am not whole. I am not incomplete. undressed to your sight. You see me as I am, As the angry girl who once screamed innocence. Begging for the indecency of your wicked touch, drinking in my soul. Fighting for the right to be in your angry unconcious presence. My shell broken and cracked. I emerge smooth and ready for flight.

Lost in deep forest black, My horse gone astray. I follow no road, ever seeking the way. In the distance drumbeats thud softly in the night. I follow heartbeat in time, coming closer to the light. I stay hidden in shadow, listening to drumbeats trance. I watch them lost to the song spinning in circle dance. Step by step they spin round blazing gold fire. With every beat glowing flames rise ever higher. Skyclad, they dance not caring for modesty They hide no secrets. Sharing trust and honesty. The drums stop but still in tune is my heart. And above it's thudding beat I hear the chanting start. I sway to the melodic drone of voices in time. Realizing in moments, that their thoughts are mine. A priestess cries forth from her sullen clan. Speaking to the creator, the mother of this land. An invocation for renewal, of life, spirit and season. Lifting arms towards the sky never asking for reason. And as the circle was closed the drumbeats rose from the land. I rode away finding my path on the road where I began. The world renewed under the mists of dawn. never forgetting the circle dance, I rode on.

Eyes like the trembling waters of a silent stream. I have sheltered, my hearts wreckage in your timid arms. So many restless nights you spent, Just wondering if I would come home. You waited, The tears coming only behind closed doors. Never showing defeat. Everyday spent, Practicing the motions, Hoping this would not be forever. My wings spread, I searched for a person, that did not exist without you. My footing faltered, I fell crashing to the stones of my ruined dreams. When I awakened you you stood with extended hand, helping me to stand. It was you who waited in dark silence, never showing your fears and emotions. It was you who found me motionless, amidst The crashing waves of shattered dreams. And it is you, who through all my grand Ideas and explorations, I will return to.