mrs lonely girl's blog: "random thoughts and stuff"

HEART BROKE INTO SO MANY PIECES NOW I FEEL LOST I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO CRIED ALL DAY ON AND OFF. ITS HARD TO LAUGH AND SMILE WHEN YOU HURT. WENT FROM BEING THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE TO THE PERSON WHO JUST WANTS TO DIE. IM TRULY SORRY AND I MEAN THAT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BROKEN HEART. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I MADE A HONEST MISTAKE DIDNT KNOW AT THE TIME. PLEASE JUST BELIEVE ME, IVE TRIED LAYING DOWN TO SLEEP BUT ITS HARD WHEN U HAVE ONE THING ON YOUR MIND THE ONE THING THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH THAT KEEPS ME SANE I MISS YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH WOULD DO ANYTHING. TEARS JUST A ROLLING DOWN MY FACE LIKE A WATER FOUNTAIN THEY CANT STOP CAUSE IM TRULY MISSING YOU CRYING IN MY SLEEP TOSSING AND TURNING CAUSE I CLOSE MY EYES AND ALLI THINK BOUT IS YOU. ITS HARD IT REALLY IS BEING WITHOUT YOU. I TRULLY AM SORRY AND PLEASE IS WAT I ASK OF YOU.

IM STARTING NOT TO GIVE A SHIT BOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE AT ALL. JUST TIRED AND FED UP WITH ALOT OF THINGS. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE AND SOME PEOPLE DONT CHANGE. I THINK ITS FOOLISH ON HOW SOME PEOPLE ACT THINKIN THIS THINKING THAT. ALOT OF THINGS STILL REMAIN THE SAME SOME THINGS MAKES ME JUST WANNA SCREAM AND HOLLER OUT. HONESTLY TO ME THERES ONLT TO THINGS THAT KEEP ME SANE AND THATS MY MUSIC AND THAT SOMEONE OF MINE. SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE BREAKING DOWN. ITS NOT LIKE IVE NOT ALREADY DONE THAT MANY OF TIMES I JUST FEEL ANOTHER ONE COMING ON NO WAIT I TAKE THAT BACK THREE THINGS THAT KEEP ME SANE PARTALLY LOL THAT MIGHT BE THE JOB I HAVE. YES THIS ANOTHER ONE OF MY NIGHTS WERE I HAVE LOTS BOILIN UP INSIDE ME AND IM JUST LET IT ALL COME OUT. IM NOT A JEALOUS PERSON NOR DO I BRAG AND SO I SAY PEOPLE SHOULDNT BRAG NOR BE JEALOUS CAUSE LATA ITS ALL GONNA COME BK AND BITE U IN THE BUT. LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME DAY BY DAY I DONT GET AND WANT MORE I GET AND DO WITH WAT I GOT. HATE WHEN PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE IM STUPID AND HATE WHEN PEOPLE THINK IM DUMB AND I CANT SEE RIGHT THRU THEM CAUSE I CAN I JUST ACT LIKE I DONT HAVE NO CLUE AT ALL. HAVE YOU ALL HEARD THAT SONG FROM TI AND RIHANNA CALLED LIVE UR LIFE. YEA REMEMBER WHEN THAT SONG STARTS OUT SAYIN (HEY WHAT U NEED TO DO IS BE THANKFUL FOR THE LIFE THAT YOU GOT U KNOW WHAT IM SAYING SROP LOOKIN AT WAT U AINT GOT AND BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU DO GOT.) THATS THE FIRST OF THE SONG AND ITS TRUE THATS EXCAXTLY WAT I FEEL BOUT IT. I LIVE MY LIFE IM SO DEPRESSED AND STRESSED AND LOST ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE I DONT KNOW FROM LEFT TO RIGHT ANYMORE. AND THINGS ARE NOT GONNA JUST B OK I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT ANYMORE. NOT AT ALL THATS A LIE TO ME WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THAT ITS BEEN THREE YEARS NOW AINT NOTHING GETTIN BETTER. PEACE OUT MORE TO CUM LATA.

http://www.fubar.com/photo.php?u=99257&albumid=415715&i=2266923530

YEA BEEN DOING ALOT OF THINKING HERE LATELY. LOT OF THINGS HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION. ALSO LOT OF THINGS HAS CLICKED IN MY HEAD. MAKES ME WANNA TRY NEW THINGS DOING THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECT OF. TO SEE HOW THINGS GO. TIME TO DO THINGS AND MAKE DECISIONS AND NOT CARE WAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THEM CAUSE ALL MY LIFE I HAVE ALWAYS WORRIED BOUT WAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. IF I ASKED SOMEONE SOMETHING AND THEY SAID THEY DIDNT LIKE IT OR THIS OR THAT I WOULDNT DO IT THEN IN THE END IM ALWAYS THINKING DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION TO PASS THAT UP AND ALWAYS IN THE END IM THE ONE HURT ONCE AGAIN. SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF STUCK IN THE MIST OF THINKING AND EVERY TIME I ALWAYS CRY I HIDE MY PAIN I HIDE MY FEELINGS. AND IM TIRED OF THAT NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL PEOPLE CAN FEEL DEPRESSION OR FEEL STRESSED BUT NOT LIKE ME. i could set here and right a book on how bad i feel on how hurt i feel inside but it wont do know good cause id hear the same response from everybody, i hide me fear and i hide my pain not sayin oh so well but good enough that no one knows. so good know one can tell if its a real smile or a cover up smile. but for now that is al i have to say.

http://www.fubar.com/user/2226275

http://www.fubar.com/user/2253376

MY HEART DONT DESERVE TO GET TOYED WITH IF UGONNA CARE CARE DONT JUST ACT LIKE U DO THEN TURN ROUND AND NOT THE NEXT. TALK WHEN U WANNA TALK AND DONT WHEN U DONT THATS NOT HOW ITS GONNA WORK IM SORRY THINGS GOT TO CHANGE.

come join us we are a great and cool group we have fun while helpin out others be apart of out team contact this page please http://www.fubar.com/user/2176377

UMMMM WHY WONT YOU TALK TO ME. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME.

people run when they are pussys