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Adam; without a doubt my favorite person in the entire world, and obviously my bestest friend ever. i love him more than words can describe. i'd literally take a bullet for him. the first boy i ever fell in love with. and even though it didn't work out, he's still a very important part of my life. i don't talk to him nearly as much as i should. and really, that's my own fault for distancing myself from him. i should know by now that when things are bad to go to him, not run from him. he always knows what to say, always has the best advice. yet,i don't go to him when i need him. if only he wasn't half way across the country.
i remember the day i met him in person. we'd been talking online for almost 6 months. met through his band's myspace page. we talked almost every day and every day, i fell more and more in love with him. he didn't know it, i tried to deny it to myself. cause i didn't think i could love someone i had never met. but that day in July when his band finally came out my way, i drove almost 3 hours to the show in Wisconsin. i remember parking in the lot behind the bar. calling my friend Sandy, cause i was super spazzing. sitting on a bench, still freaking, and getting a feeling of deja vu. i remember laughing at him when Eric told me about them taking a bath in the Mississippi River. and how Adam got creeped out and walked out of Taco John's without getting his food. because the stoner workers were too much for him to handle. i also remember Eric making him for being such a pussy when it comes to drinking. lightweight!
i remember them playing pretty much any song i wanted, i was the only one there who knew them. i remember walking down the street with Adam to there van. and laughing about pretty much nothing. and Adam playing some video game on his phone. talking about how much he hated Wisconsin, and how Minnesota better be more cool. i recall him wanting to shoot off fire works as they crossed the Mississippi River. cause i guess he thought that would be the cool thing to do. i remember him showing me the post card he was going to send his mom. it had a mouse & cheese on the front. i laughed. i remember hustling people on the street with Adam, trying to sell cds. he got into an argument with this drunk guy. it was funny. after the dude finally left, Adam was like "god, i thought he'd never go away." i also remember me sitting on the curb, slightly crying. Adam came over to me, to see if i was okay. i said i was. he didn't believe me. he looked me in the eyes and said "are you sure? its not me is it? did i do something wrong?" he hugged me. i told him that it was nothing he did. that he was perfect. i knew at that very moment that he was the one. that i was in love with him. from then on, things got a lot more complicated. but i won't go into all of that.
Ryan; with one glance from him, one smile, and i completely melt. always welcomes me into his arms with a giant bear hug. once in his arms, i never want to leave. he makes me feel loved. he makes me feel safe. at that point, nothing else in the world matters. no matter how far apart the times may be between seeing eachother, he treats it the same. i could be gone for 5 weeks, 5 days, or 5 minutes. he's just as excited to see me, and always, always arms wide open. i think its very possible that i miss him the most. i've known him for such a very long time. so many wonderful memories with him.
i remember the day i met him like it was yesterday. i went to see my good friends Four Letter Lie play at The Warehouse. Ryan's band was playing. they were quite good, of course. and as i always do, i talk to the bands. get autographs. do my whole little band whore thing. i had my little notebook with, i went to ask Ryan for an autograph. he refused to sign the notebook, but insisted that i take a poster (free of charge) i believe they were $2 or something. i tried to offer him money for it, but he would not take no for an answer. i finally gave in. he signed the poster, and circled his head on the poster. so i would always remember him. that was all it took.
after that, i never missed one of there shows. every time they were in the area, i went to see him. no matter how far of a drive it was. i have two favorite memories with him. there was a time when they played a last minute show in Minneapolis at a bar. a 21+ show. Ryan didn't realize i was there until they were getting ready to start playing. he gave me the biggest smile, and almost a look of surprise that i was there. he looked at me and was like "omg, what are you doing here?" he then announced that entire set was deticated to me. i was cheesin' the whole night. i remember saying good bye that night. i threw my arms around him, almost crying. told him i would miss him. he looked me in the eyes, held my hand and told me that he would miss me too.
my other memory, it was the last time i saw them in Minnesota. i went with my friend Katrina. she brought crayons and a colouring book with. i thought it would be a fun idea to colour him a picture. cause i'm a nerd like that, plus i knew that Ryan would adore the gesture. i was absolutely right. we were saying our goodbyes, i told him i had something for him. that enough made him very excited. when i took the picture out of my purse and handed it to him, he was even more excited. asking if it was for him to keep. huge smile, he gave me a hug and told me that he was going to hang it up in there tour van. so much more i could say about him. but i think i've rambled enough on him.
Jake; i've fully decided i'm just not going to say about him. because there's a chance he might read this. and i'd rather he not know what i have to say at the moment.
