RYAN Club United Member Princess Leias ...'s blog: "Recover Your Happines"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next

(This one is worth passing on.) This one is for everyone who ... a) has kids, b) had kids, c) was a kid, d) knows a kid e) is going to have kids. I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said,! "Daddy 's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them. Went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter. LETTER 1: Dear God: I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Leroy Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over. LETTER 2: Dear God: This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Leroy Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again. LETTER 3: Dear God: I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Leroy Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either, so he wrote another letter. LETTER 4: Dear God: I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Leroy Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said. Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write his letter to God. LETTER 5: I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE. Signed, YOU KNOW WHO.

> Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go > shopping. Dear Mrs. Murry, > > > Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with > us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences > over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras. > > MEMO > Re: Complaints > 15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping: > > > > > > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > carts > when they weren't looking. > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at > 5-minute intervals. > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to > tampons section. > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, > "Code > 3" in housewares.. ... and watched what happened. > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's > on lay-by. > > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted > area. > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the > shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding > department. > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to > cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a > mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked > theclerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming > the "Mission Impossible" theme. > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" > using different size funnels. > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse > through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he > assumes > the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!! > > And; last, but not least! > > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a > while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" __._,_.___ Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start

In My Dreams There was a time some time ago When every sunrise meant a sunny day, oh a sunny day But now when the morning light shines in It only disturbs the dreamland where I lay, oh where I lay I used to thank the lord when I'd wake For life and love and the golden sky above me But now I pray the stars will go on shinin', you see in my dreams you love me Daybreak is a joyful time Just listen to the songbird harmonies, oh the harmonies But I wish the dawn would never come I wish there was silence in the trees, oh the trees If only I could stay asleep, at least I could pretend you're thinkin' of me 'Cause nighttime is the one time I am happy, you see in my dreams We climb and climb and at the top we fly Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time And I don't know really what it means All I know is that you love me, in my dreams I keep hopin' one day I'll awaken, and somehow she'll be lying by my side And as I wonder if the dawn is really breakin' She touches me and suddenly I'm alive We climb and climb and at the top we fly Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time And I don't know really what it means All I know is that you love me, in my dreams

Black shadows fall From the lindens tall, That lift aloft their massive wall Against the southern sky; And from the realms Of the shadowy elms A tide-like darkness overwhelms The fields that round us lie. But the night is fair, And everywhere A warm, soft vapor fills the air, And distant sounds seem near; And above, in the light Of the star-lit night, Swift birds of passage wing their flight Through the dewy atmosphere. I hear the beat Of their pinions fleet, As from the land of snow and sleet They seek a southern lea. I hear the cry Of their voices high Falling dreamily through the sky, But their forms I cannot see. Oh, say not so! Those sounds that flow In murmurs of delight and woe Come not from wings of birds. They are the throngs Of the poet's songs, Murmurs of pleasures, and pains, and wrongs, The sound of winged words. This is the cry Of souls, that high On toiling, beating pinions, fly, Seeking a warmer clime. From their distant flight Through realms of light It falls into our world of night, With the murmuring sound of rhyme. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Rain . . . Softly falling down . . . each drop a symphony of sound . . . as it hits the tin roof . . . tap . . . tap . . . tap. It can sound just like a sad song with a slow beat . . . the kind that makes you daydream . . . and feel sad and sigh . . . as you think of what might of been or could be in your life. Or maybe it is a happy song that brings back sweet memories . . . tender thoughts and special smiles . . . thinking of someone who makes your heart beat faster . . . and your laughter ring with happiness and joy. Or maybe it is a love song . . . with sweet and soft lyrics . . . tender and romantic and sensual . . . that makes you think of dancing in the rain. Only you can decide which song . . . is the one you are hearing . . . which music soothes your soul . . . and which song you want to sing along with. Sometimes, you have to choose a song . . . and the choosing isn't easy.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; someone who changes your life by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; someone who makes you believe that there really is good in this world. Someone who convinces you that there is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down, and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem dark and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, and the sad times, and the confused times. If you turn and walk away your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be a-okay. And when you find such a friend, you'll feel happy and complete, because you need not worry. You have a forever friend for life and forever has no end.

* FRIENDS FOR EVER * There's nothing as nice as someone who shares, your laughter, your secrets, your wishes and cares, someone who's there through your good times and tears, who stays by your side as your friend through the years. """I ALWAYS WILL BE HERE FOR U"""

RECOVER YOUR HAPPINESS I LOVE THIS... A--Accept Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions. B--Break Away Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life. C--Create Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with. D--Decide Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way. E--Explore Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself. F--Forgive Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes. G--Grow Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way. H--Hope Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task. I--Ignore Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds. J--Journey Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow. K--Know Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter. L--Love Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness. M--Manage Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life. N--Notice Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding. O--Open Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for. P--Play Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness. Q--Question Ask many questions, because you're here to learn. R--Relax Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end. S--Share Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over. T--Try Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish. U--Use Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards. V--Value Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well. W--Work Work hard every day to be the best person you can b e, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance. X--X-Ray Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within. Y--Yield Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road. Z--Zoom Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.