heartsSlaveowner42069heartsDeath waits f...'s blog: "Stuff i feel like writing"

~*~No name's were used in the making of this!!!~*~ THIS IS SOME FUCKING SHIT!!!! I JUST LOST A FRIEND WHO WAS LIKE MY FUCKING FATHER. . . .DUE TO SOME BITCH AND SOME SHIT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WENT DOWN. I GOT BANNED FROM MY HOME LOUNGE. THATS LOVELY. . . .RIGHT. . . .. .. WTF IS WRONG WITH SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ON HERE. THINKING THERE THE SHIT JUST BECAUSE THEY KNOW PEOPLE?!?!? THIS DRAMA SHIT NEEDS TO STOP. I WANT MY FRIEND BACK BUT I CANT HAVE HIM BACK. I HATE THAT STUPID BITCH ~*~There for no one got hurt.~*~

Every time I hold you The voices start to talk Telling me your mine And to never let you walk. My heart is yours Forever threw The summer days The winter haze The sky is blue the grass is green You start to fad When it turns to May Your simple smile Once in my mind Slowly starts To go away My love for you Always strong Even though i know You don't feel the same You can come back to me When you chose. My love for you You'll never lose

I wake up in the morning my fiance still asleep. I go in to the living room and turn on the T.V. They say its suppose to be sunny out today but i don't know how thats going to happen when it's cloudy and looks like it is going to rain for the third time this week. So i change the channel to cartoons. The Flintstones are on. You know the one were Dino locks him out of the house at night and he tries to open the door, when he could just go threw the window since they haven't invented glass yet. I go into the kitchen and make some coffee and start my usual Saturday morning breakfast. Pancakes, sausage, toast, and eggs. He usually doesn't get up till about 30 minuets after I do. I'm in the living eating. His food getting cold his coffee still hot he comes in and joins me. We start to talk about what we are going to do today. Giving each other suggestions. I finally go back into the bedroom and start getting dressed. I put on my socks,my pink thong, my tight jeans that show my ass, and my black and white see threw shirt. He loves this outfit. and i normally wear it on Friday but i decided to wear it today. I go back out into the living room he's already dressed. He is wearing his trip pants, with my I.C.P. shirt he has on. We start to walk to our friends house who live in Down Town Royal Oak. Its a good 15-20 miles away. We fill out applications on the way there. It takes us about 6-7 hours just to walk there. My feet killing me, plus the fact I'm wearing my boots. My legs hurt and so does my back. We finally get to his friends work at Stuchies. A nice little pizza joint. We sit there have a Chicago Style Pizza and a 2 Litter of Pepsi. Its about 11 o'clock when we finally go to the bar down the street. Now to let you know this is a gay bar called Paronto's. lovely little place. We sit there for about an hour, me with a coke his friend with a diet coke and him with a beer, playing a game of pool. We get to his friends house and its midnight. Pirates from space comes on. Its a porn movie with lesbians who don't know how to have sex with a male and must save there race. Stuff like that. It ended at around 3 in the morning and thats when i passed out on the floor laying next to my fiance and his friend on the bed

I wake up in the morning. It's sunny out. Not a cloud in the sky. I go and grab the newspaper noticing that my fiance is already gone. So I walk back in the bedroom and fall asleep. i wake up when i feel a kiss on my check thinking its my cat i try to shoo it away, and then i feel a hand on my back. I jump up not knowing who it was. And its my fiance. Waiting for me to go into the shower with him. It's midnight so I get up, go to the bathroom get undressed and he is already in the shower. I get into the hot steamy water, pulling back out from the heat but he insists that i come in. So i get back in the shower making sure the water barely hits me. I turn around to get my shampoo so i can wash my hair and he starts to hold me. Caressing my body. Gently touching my breasts. He starts to play with my hair. I turn around and give him a kiss. A passionate kiss. i turn off the water from the shower we get out and he carries me to the bedroom with my legs wrapped around his waste. He sets me on the bed gently. And starts to kiss me from my lips to my breasts. Then he moves down to my belly button. Then he moves further down to my pussy. Licking my clit and fingering me, slowly in and out. He starts to go faster and harder every time i moan. Knowing thats how i like it. We start to make love. He gets on top first and starts playing with my clit with the tip of his dick. Then he gently slides it in, all the way in. I let out a quiet moan. He hears it and starts to speed up raming his dick in and out of my wet pussy. I start to moan louder, not catching my breath. We roll over and I'm on top. I start to ride him slowly kissing his neck and nibbling on his ears. I bit his neck and he holds me down and rolls back over. he puts my legs on his shoulders and starts to fuck me harder. Every inch of his dick in and out, ramming it deeper and deeper until i scream. He lays on top of me kisses my neck whispers in my ear i love you and i whisper it back. and i kiss him. He gets up and lays next to me. I go into the bathroom to wash up. I come back out I lay next to him. I put my head on his shoulder while he holds me. His heart beat makes me fall asleep, but then again it always makes me fall asleep. The slow sound beating of his heart after sex. He starts to read, and i pass out after one more kiss.

I sit there, waiting. What am i waiting for? I still have yet to answer this question. Its dark in my room. Really dark. I sit on my bed and smoke a cigarette, watching the ceiling fan. Its storming out side and the rain is starting to come in threw my window. I just leave it open. Feeling the gust of wind bring in the cold rain. Reminds me of the past, when me and my fiance would walk around in it. The thunder clashing together in the clouds, almost looks like a dance. My cat jumps on my bed. Dammit. . .I dropped my cigarette. I watch it hit the wooden floor and go out from the rain. Still thinking about what I'm waiting for. What am I waiting for? Why am I here? And who is at my front door at 2:30 in the morning. I open up the door and find out what I was waiting for. I was waiting for my fiance to get home from work. But instead it was a police officer. They showed up which isn't normally a good thing. He tells me my fiance is dead. They found His car around the block from my house, still on the bridge. I stand there quiet, then a tear rolls down my check. I tell him i need to go to bed and close the door. I go back to my room light another cigarette and lay on my bed. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to think. Then another knock comes from the front door. its now 3 am. I walk slowly to the front door hoping its not another police officer. I open up the door. . . And there he is. My fiance drenched from head to toe. He falls in my arms coughing. I take him to the bedroom and undress him. I grab a towel from the bathroom and wrap him in it then i close my window. Hes shaking. I make him a cup of tea knowing thats what he would want. And he sits there. Quiet sipping his tea. No sugar. just the way he likes it. He lays down and I lay next to him. In shock. . . .Not knowing what to do. Its cold. Really cold. Then it gets hot. . . .I forgot to turn off the stove and the towel caught on fire. I just let it burn. I sit there and cry, knowing this is what we want. I feel the heat coming from my bedroom door. The whole house already engulfed in flames. I go to hold him and he doesn't move. He is already dead from the cold. So I lay there. And fall asleep with the house burning. . . .I lay there. And I die. Knowing with out him in my life. I'm nothing. So we die together.

Every time your not with me, The pain always grows, Every time I look into the sky, I always think theres hope, Every time I fall asleep, Memories of you make me weak, I feel as if theres nothing left, But to go another day, with out your necklace around my neck. Every time I look at our pic's, I feel like crying, and it makes me sick, I will always love you, You know thats true I just know that i would never lie to you!

Its because of you I chose to stay, In this house I will forever remain, I lay on our bed so soft and smooth, And every night I think of you, Its because of you my love will grow, In my heart, Its soon to show, I lay on the couch full of love, And think of you and the god above, Its because of you I want to be, With you forever, and forever free, I lay on the floor,With memories of hope, And all i want to do is mope, Its because of you that i feel this way, Forever, and ever, until the next day, I lay with your picture, full of Amazing love, And all I do is look above!

I know there are answers, but none are coming to me. All because I can't be what you want me to be. Your home and your love in my life. It’s pretty to see these little plastic stars glowing for me. Thoughts from the black queen are coming to me. Years before I tried to be your home and my love secretly. Twenty-nine and I can’t be free. It’s nice to see the answers from the black queen are coming to me But I still can’t be what you want me to be. Fifty-three and this just isn’t me. I’m trying to be what you want me to be But you still can’t see the little black queen. It’s not me, It’s not me. All of these stones coming down on me because I still can’t be what you want me to be. This isn’t me, This isn’t me. This is the black queen being the voice for me Because I still can’t see why you wanted this to be. I abandon everything and live with the queen but these little plastic stars won’t stop shining for me. I’m starting to let go of everything. I am the queen, I am the queen.

Your always in my dreams, When i fall asleep at night. I wake the next day And your always out of sight. I need you by my side, As much as you can be I dont want you to promise me forever Just as long as we are free. Free from the people that dont want us to be. Free from the society that cant stand to see. See me and you By each others side. They dont think my love Will always stay alive. To them they cant see How much you mean to me. And only, if only They would open there eyes. To see how much we love each other And that our love will never die. Then and only then, They can understand why.

How much do i love you? This much. . . . count the raindrops as they fall. . . count the shoppers at the mall. . . count the fishes in the sea. . . count the reruns on TV. . . count the bears in yellowstone. . . count the diets that are blown. . . count the words in windy speeches. . . count the seashells on the beaches. . . count the paintings at the met. . . count the rivets on a jet. . . count the joneses, smiths and greens. . . count the easter jelly beans. . . count the snowflakes as they fall. . . count the stars from here to mars. . . add it up and when your through. . . youll know how much. . . I LOVE YOU!!! love ya babe!