triple3ntx's blog: "the in and outs of my mind"

DAVE MATTHEWS BAND - Grey Street Lyrics Oh look at how she listens She says nothing of what she thinks She just goes stumbling through her memories Staring out on to Grey Street. She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this?" I dream myself a thousand times around the world But I can't get out of this place. There's an emptiness inside her And she'll do anything to fill it in But all the colors mix together - to grey And it breaks her heart How she wishes it was different She prays to God most every night And though she swears it doesn't listen There's still a hope in her it might She says "I pray oh But they fall on deaf ears, am I supposed to take it on myself? To get out of this place? " Oh There's a lonliness inside her And she'll do anything to fill it in And though it's red blood bleeding from her now It feels like cold blue ice in her heart When all the colors mix together - to grey And it breaks her heart There's a stranger speaks outside her door Says take what you can from your dreams Make them as real as anything Oh It'd take the work out of courage But she says "Please There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door, I live on the corner of Grey Street at the end of the world." Oh there's an emptiness inside her And she'll do anything to fill it in And though it's red blood bleeding from her now It's more like cold blue ice in her heart She feels like kicking out all the windows And setting fire to this life She could change everything about her Using colors bold and bright But all the colors mix together - to grey And it breaks her heart It breaks her heart To Grey

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things or habits about themselves. People who are tagged should write a blog with their own 6 weird things or habits, and state this rule clearly. Choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names, leave them a comment and tell them they are tagged and to check your blog for details. It's fun! 1. I can't go to bed at night unless my kitchen is totally clean, if i try to lay down with 1 dirty dish in the sink , it will bug me till i go wash it and put it away..... 2. i brush my teeth in the shower in the mornings, i had a friend think that was odd, i don't think it is... lol 3. i sleep with a stuffed animal that i cuddle up with, :) 4. i suck my thumb, always have, prolly always will... 5. i can't wink both my eyes, only my right one. 6. i can't say the word specific, lol don't laugh Ok, tag, you're it... do it if ya want, i am not taggin anyone

1. In all that you do, consider its benefit or harm to yourself, your children and your people. 2. All that you do will return to you, sooner or later, for good or ill. Thus strive to always do good unto others or at least strive to be just. 3. To thine own self be true. Be honest with yourself and with others. 4. Give your word but sparingly and then move heaven and earth to abide by it once given. 5. To keep ones head is a virtue, the anger of a moment can play havoc for years. 6. Know which battles to fight and which to avoid. Live today to fight tomorrow. 7. Courage and honor endure. Their echoes remain when all else has vanished. 8. Pledge friendship only to those who are worthy. 9. Do your best or do nothing. 10. Love and care for your family always. 11. Laws of the land are to be obeyed so long as they were chosen with wisdom and the good of the people in mind. 12. Your children are the promise of the future. Don't break a promise. 13. Live in harmony as best you can with the natural order of the world. 14. Seeking wisdom is a virtue. Love truth, honor, courage, and loyalty. 15. Be prepared for the future. It will be upon you tomorrow. 16. Embrace life and you will live

How do you define respect? do You find that in todays society we lack a sense of commen respect for others and their feelings? How about someone you care about? Would you say you overlook their feelings since you do care about them , that you think they will forgive you for lacking the respect towards them? Tonight i was faced with this. I feel that i was slapped with a BIG case of disprespect. i feel that what i think or how i feel doesn't matter. Which it does! i value my "time" and my feelings are worth more then how they are being handled. this really pisses me off and i am extremely upset tonight. i treat others with the respect that i want to be treated with. i have nothing to hide and i am not ashamed by anything i do or say in my daily routines. it makes me wonder what this person has to hide or is ashamed by. Seems that i need to rethink my place as a friend to him or how he values having me in his life. all i ask for is honesty , respect and to know what is going on when it does , to some extent, involve me. blugh i am done with this rambling.

just some questions a friend passed along in her blog.. if want, answer them and post them if not.. enjoy the laugh from my answers :) DO YOU SNORE? i am told i do, but its like a snort lol LOVER OR A FIGHTER? oh lover, but i will stand up for ppl i love if i feel they are being done wrong WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? disappointing my kids AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER? sorta, when my brother would share WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"? i am a closet addict, lol shhhh don't tell anyone DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? yessssssssssssss WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? yes i was, :) wanna see? HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? who knows? :( WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? black DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? oh yeah, loud too HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? nope ANY SECRET TALENTS? a few :) WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? oh a beach with a good book or my ipod HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI? heck NO and dont plan on it. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"? Nope. DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE? somewhat HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? i don't know, but i did write a paper in college about this... got an A on it too :) CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? heck NO HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE? Oh yes, member of the mile high club too ARE SPEEDO'S HOT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, tacky looking WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? i support it, but we eat the deer we hunt, so its not going to waste.. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? doubt it DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yup i do WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? ohhhh, lamb, rice, almost all trees and grasses, and stupid people WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU" about 10 mins ago when i kissed my daughter and hugged her DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? yes HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? hmmmm scrambled with tomatos and salt WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? i wish i knew , then i could match up the odd ones in that basket of lonely socks in the washroom WHAT TIME IS IT? 8:36pm monday DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? Pill, pistol, bratt, and a few others IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING? oh yes WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? about 3 hours ago DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? showers IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL? YES...!! I believe in Santa, always will ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? nahhhh, if something is going to get me, it will get me in a lighted room WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? caffineeeeeee and music CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? Creamy HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? Yes.... HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY? twice IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? yes it is , a clear mind is a good mind ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS? nope HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED? nope WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? a funky color of hazelish blue WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? no comment DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? most parts of it yes WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER? i have no idea ARE YOU PSYCHIC? maybe lol HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"? Nope DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? i play the piano and clarinet , i have a guitar, but i am trying to teach myself to play CAN YOU SKATEBOARD? lol no comment DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? heck NO DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH? guilty i have and do DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? Yep.... IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND? yeah, uncoditional love YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? sure CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? lol yes LAST THING YOU ATE? an apple DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH? Yep....on my toes too DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? no comment WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? the caveman ones about car insurance YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? I have, many times.... FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT? mmmmmmmmmmmm dave matthewsssss, mmmmmm

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!" My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it, that rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go." "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous, cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten- dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs.Pollock's grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker, didn't have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I replied shyly. "It's .... for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas. That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it -- Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby. Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in BobbyDecker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: Ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95. .·:*¨*:·..,¸¸,°CJ°,¸¸,..·:*¨*:·. He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree

there are many levels of love. we have the love of a child, which is unconditional and very rewarding. we have the love of a pet, also, unconditional and rewarding. as we grow from being a child to an adult, some ppl say our love changes and its due to our lifestyle and how we were treated as a child. Some ppl forget how to love or they are afraid of giving love because of the fear of being rejected and having their heart crushed. its sad when we come across someone that has been hurt, and taken advantage of. its hard to gain the trust of these types of ppl. i will never understand how a person can use another person to gain material things in life Or to take them for granted. there are many things in life i don't understand, and i think this will remain as one of the top 10 things.. "How can a person look another one in the eyes and say "I love You".. and NOT mean it?? How can a person sleep at night knowing that they have used another person?? Here is a few question... "how many times have you honestly been in love?" "Is there a true love out there wandering around w/out knowing you love them?" I'd love to hear some ppl's answers to these questions. Hugggggs and luvsss ~*~steph~*~

I know its human for ppl not to understand everything in life but a friend was talking to me yesterday about not understanding something that happened in His life. Sometimes when bad things happen to us, we will question "why", "why me", "what did I do to deserve this". I honestly think that bad things happen to us to make us stronger, emotionally and physically. It seems he has had nothing but a string of bad luck thru out his life. I think He needs to step back and see where he is in his life, and question, "how did I end up here", and " Is this where I want to be"? He should then make a mental note to NOT repeat the same mistakes. I also believe that you become the company you keep. I think the world of my friend and wish only good things for him. I know he has a long road ahead of him and its going to be hard. I pray that he is able to pull thru and overcome anything that is thrown at him. If I could help him , i would, but i feel he needs to focus on himself. We all come to that point in our lives that we need to step back from other ppl and just focus on ourselves. Its hard to do that because most ppl can't be alone, they need to feel loved and wanted and needed. I really feel that if he devotes a few months or even maybe a year, of just focusing on his life, he will come out on top. He should know what He has waiting at the finish line , someone standing there with open arms and ready to accept him for the great man and friend he is. :) Ok, enough of that, i love to blog and i tend to ramble on.. till next time. Hugggs and kisses be safe and sane