Morganite's blog: "This is my life..."

I'm needing some help here. Yes, I have got to be the most confusing person in this world. Nah.... There's a lot more that's worse off than I am. Anywhoz..... I'm kind of thinking about doing something crazy. OK. Quit laughing. Seriously, QUIT! Are you done??? Here is goes. I forgot. Not really, but thought that I would try to hold some suspense. I met this guy on a web site a couple of months ago. Not really sure when. But anywayz, we've been talking on here and over the phone. He has a sexy voice and he's a real hottie! What's the problem, you ask? Besides the other question that you have about Spongebob.... He lives in Gulfport, which is about a 4 - 5 hour drive from here or from there to here. He also has a teenage daughter. Which I believe that might be a benefit. I have 2 kids, and now I'd have a baby sitter! And he's also a Yankee! He's from New York! ha ha. He seems to be really nice. But the crazy part is, we're thinking about running off and getting married. I think that I'm finished. What do ya'll think? I have a theory about this though. My mom and dad met in July 1968 and were married in October 1968 and have been married since. I have a brother that was with the same chick for about 3 years before they got married and then about 6 years later they got divorced. I have a cousin that was with the same chick for about 4 or 5 years, hell if I know, got married and stayed married for about a year. I figure that the chances of us staying married for several years, such as watching my kids grow up and get married and possibly having kids, is better than if I get to know someone and spend time with them and then however many years later, get married. Then again who knows what I'll do. I'm waiting on that answer my self. All I got to say is, I have the rings, I can print out the forms that are needed, just need the groom and take off to Tennesse. My luck is that the ring doesn't fit him. lol. I am trying to keep focused on the restaurant, the kids, school. It doesn't bother me so much now. But I hope that I can convince this guy in Gulfport to move up here with me and we run off and get married! I'm not sure if I can do that. I probably would then turn around and have a real wedding so that my daddy can walk his baby gurl down the isle. I am the only daughter that he has. Sorry for the bore ya'll. But I thought that I would give an update and to get your comments about that guy or the other one, or just whoever the hell that you want to comment about???? I don't care. Just as long as it's nothing bad about me. Later ya'llllllllll

Anyways, I'll keep you posted about how things go. He's coming up here next week-end. I will be a very happy camper come then! Well hello all! I know that that some time has passed since I have posted a blog. Well here it is... I know that you have to be interested in reading this. This is something that's GREAT! And I actually find it better than the day that I got my car. What is it you ask? If you remember reading one of my blogs about a guy from Gulfport, then this is what this is about. I finally got to meet him and his daughter!!!!!! I was originally going to go down there the week -end of the 5th - the 7th but something come up and I was able to go this past week end. It's about a 4 hour trip. It was well worth it. Oh my god! He's is so HOT! I know that's not everything, but it damn sure does help! He does have the sexy voice too. He is a great person. I had to find out for myself. And what he has been telling me is true. But the thing that I find funny about it is, why can't I believe it to be true??? I suppose I stay down on myself to much to realize that someone can possibly love me for me and not because I'm beautiful. Just for me. Well, I'll let you know how things go. His daughter and him are suppose to be coming up here in about 2 weeks. I'll keep ya posted on that and what develops. I really hope for the best. By the way, did you see the pic of my new car??? Awesome ain't it. That is one thing that's for damn sure that I know that I have deserved! Talk to ya'll laterzzz. Take care!

Well here's how things are going. I hate my social life. It sucks ass. I'm so damn stupid and niave when it comes to men. I don't know what the hell I even bother. I thought that I would have something with this guy that I met on hot or not about 6 months ago. But that got busted. I've gone to see him twice and yet he has not come to see me. That's my luck. He says he wants to be with me and all that, but he does not put out any effort to make it work. I give up. I met this other guy that's in the military about a few months ago, I think... He's a really nice guy. I thought that me and him could be together both on here and once he came home in a few months. I was yet wrong again. I was stupid enough to actually start falling in love with him. Then I get the news today that he's torn and didn't want to lose me. Well, I still want to meet him and if things go alright, I'd like to be with him, that is, if he would still want to. I have others that have tried to tell me that I shouldn't worry with what's going on and just live my life. I think that I will. I have 2 loves in my life that nothing and no one will ever take away from me or come between us. They are my children. They are my world. Some people can't seem to understand that and that's why i'm giving up on love. No one wants to love me, but yet they want to be with me. To be with me, you should love me. I have nothing to offer anyone, but a good heart. I know that some think that I'm full of shit. You just know a part of me. You don't know the "real" me. I hurt. I want to be loved. I care about people. I'm not a total asshole. Anyways, if you find this moving or that I'm a fucking nut, please leave a comment. I need to know what I should do. I can't seem to figure it out for myself. I need guidance. I need love. I need understanding.

Well, guess what? Well, I got over my madness and decided on what I want... The guy in Gulfport, MS that has my heart. We had our little spat, now that's over and we're going to work out a way to be together. As far as that other guy... I hope that fleas from a thousand camels invade his privates and his arms are to short to reach to scratch. I know, I'm a slight bitch, but as the saying goes... Shame me once, shame on you. Shame me twice, shame on me. Shame me a third time, I'm the fool. There will never be a third time for the shame. I've been put through hell and know what it's like to take someone back time after time after they've hurt you. And I know what it's like to be left alone, emtionally and mentally damaged. I'll be DAMNED! if I go through that again! But it's cool. I know how to keep my distance and not get hurt anymore. Don't let anyone in and you can't get hurt.. But I know, it hurts more missing out on what could be and what might have been. So right now, what I'm going to do is love him like I've never been hurt before. And love him like I've never loved before. I'm going to hope and pray for the best for us. I care alot about him and I love him so much. He's a good guy. I miss him and wish we were together right now. I love you, NICK! So, anyways, I know someone's readin

You know, ya'll are an awful lot of help. lol. Help a sista out! Damn! I can't believe someone suggested becoming a lesbian and saying fuck it all. Damn, no faith, huh? Well, I'm not going to become a lesbian. I'm not going to try to work things out with Nick. I'm going to go on about my business. I'm not going to look anymore. I have good friends and some good family... That's all I need for now. I have 2 children that need me and are my world. There's no man in this world that can ever take that from me or come between us. Anyways... I hope that you like the pic. I'm talking to a few people. I don't know where it will go, but I do know one thing no matter which way it goes, I know where I will be and go. And that's back home with my babies. But I do hope for the best for me and one day I will find what I've been looking for and hopefully, he's been looking for me too. Later ya'll

Well, here it is another day... I know that I haven't posted one in a while. I don't think that anyone really reads these things, but I'll let you know what's going on anyway. That's because I'm cool like that... lol. Anyways, this is what's been going on and is going on. As you can tell I have updated a little and I have another profile that I would like for you to check out. I hate the idea of being single. I don't like it at all. REALLY! But I have a bad problem though, I think that I'm afraid of commitment and being hurt. I've met a few promising guys here lately. But I don't know what to do. I would like to go out and get to know them, but I don't want one to find out about the other. But I just want to do the dating thing. Go out, eat dinner, talk. Get to know one another, see how we click together. That's like now, I've been kind of seeing this one guy off and on since about February. I like him, but I know that it's not ever going to go anywhere, so I don't go out with him or talk to him very much. He's a good guy, just not what I want. There's another guy that I met. He's around my age, but he lives about an hour and a half away and he works offshore. 2 on and 2 off. He has 3 kids and an ex-wife. He's really sweet, but I didn't get much of a chance to get to know him. So I kind of think that he might be worth a shot... I dunno. Then there's another guy. He's older than me. He drives a truck so there's not a whole lot of time to get to know one another. He has a motorcycle. Which that is a BIG PLUS! He's bald too, which is sexy! I know, I'm strange like that. He is an interesting person too. There's another one. I don't know if I should put him in here, but thought that I would so that he wouldn't feel left out. He's in the military and should be coming home in about 2 months. I would like to meet him, but I'm thinking that I might have enough on my plate with all these other guys and trying to figure out what to do. He seems to be sweet but I'm not so sure about him, he has hurt me and broke my heart a time or 2! I guess we will see in the time that's to come... Then there's this one other guy... I can't seem to get him off my mind. I love him very much. In which, I agree with him, I shouldn't because he left me. If we were still together, we would have been together for a year. But I haven't seen him in about 6 months. I do miss him very much and wish that we could be together, so I don't feel the way that I do. I am very confused right now. I want to be loved, I want happiness. I want to feel loved. I want to be wanted and desired for me, and not only because I'm beautiful, which I don't think that I am. But everyone has an opinion. I hope to find, actually, I hope that he will find me one day. The one that feels the same as I do and will feel the same about me. Well that be all folks, leave some input.

Well, here it goes again... I have met someone, yet again! lol. I really like this guy and it bothers me that I do. There's nothing wrong with him. But I know that there are a few things about him that I do not like. And there are a few things that people will point out... Here's some things about him. I know that this will make a few people mad, but I really don't give a shit. He's older than me, he's 47. He has children and grandchildren. Which his children are around my age and a little bit younger, the grandchildren are around my children's age. That doesn't bother me at all. We can see eye to eye, literaly... lol. I don't like the fact that he snores, has a hard ass bed, he dips and has the same name as one of my brothers that I don't like. He's a biker and a truck driver. He's a little taller than me. He's bald and has a long goatee. I can really get along with him. We really get along with one another despite the age differences and the other differences. We can see past those things. I have enjoyed spendign time with him and would love to spend more time with him. He's funny, he owns a bike and takes me riding, makes me feel special, has a hot tub, treats me good, can cook, and is very much a real gentleman. He respects me. He's good to me. honest, sweet. Pretty much the things that I have been looking for. But as with pretty much anything, there's a catch to all this wonderfulness. I don't think that he would want to get married again. I know that he doesn't want anymore children, which is fine with me, because i really don't either. i would like to spend more time with him and would like this to develop into something. but i'm really scared that i will fall in love with him or he will fall in love with me. you're probably wondering why that would be a bad thing or why i would be scared??? well, there are lots of reasons. the main thing that i can come up with right now is that i know that neither one of us wants to get hurt or be hurt. there's been enough of that in the lifetime that we have already spent. i really hope that this will work for us. as for you that might be mad at me for finding someone. i'm sorry. that's all i can say. i hope that you can be happy for me. i know that it would be more happiness for you if i would have been with you instead of who i choose to be with now. but it's somthing that came about and happened. i have enjoyed spending time with him. he makes me laugh, smile, makes me feel like i would want to feel all the time and that's happy! i do really enjoy his company. he's a great person to talk to. i'm going to go. i'll keep ya posted on what's going on, if anything. i do lead a boring life ya know??? lol By the way he's one of the guys that i talked about in the last blog on here. i have decided to go with him because i have had the chance to spend sometime with him. he is a really good guy and i have enjoyed spending the time that i have with him and i look forward to spending some more time with him. i'm not worried about the other ones. i can't do a whole lot of waiting on someone. that hurts to much and so many opportunties pass ya by. i'm not letting this one pass by me though! i'm going to hold on for as long as i can and as long as it takes! i hope that he feels the same way about me...

I thought that I would give ya'll an update to what's going on in my life. I have started seeing Harley Charlie. Things are going great!He makes me so HAPPY! I don't know what the future will hold for us, but I hope that it will be something great! Anywhoz.Thought that I would give ya'll a head's up that I'm no longer single. Well, let's put it this way, I only want to spend my spare time with one person and I think that I have found him

I know that I haven't written in a while, but thought that I would today. Things are going good. I'm still with Harley Charlie. My son had his 8th birthday yesterday. My daughter cut her hair last week. Very interesting... I'm going to send here to cosmatalogy school. I think that I misspelled that, but oh well. The kids are doing good. I'm happy. I suppose that's about it. I know, I lead a dull and boring life. Talk at ya'll later...

I thought that I would give ya'll an update to what's going on with me. Actually there's not a whole lot to tell. My son is doing real good in school. He has also joined the cub scouts, he's with the wolf cubs. I'm still with the same person, we've been together since sometime in June, I believe. I don't keep up with things like that. I know it's somewhat important, but things going on in my life that involve me and my kids are more important than trying to remember how long I've been with someone. But anywhos... I got to meet his daughter. She seems to be pretty cool and easy going. I'm suppose to meet his brother sometime in the next couple of days, I think. He's going to Daytona, FL with him. I'm not going, and why is what you are asking. It was planned way before we met, and it's going to be a guy thing. Which is cool. I ain't mad. I'm going camping with my son next week-end. Yes, this will definately be an experience for me. Never really been camping, but I'm going to give it a go. I suppose that I should mention a little about my daughter in here. She's still attending daycare, just part time. She cut her on hair about 2 months ago. Yes, she does look funny, but it's a cute funny. I guess all kids do that at some point in time when they are little. It's cool though. I don't think that her dad and step mom like it, but I don't care. It doesn't bother me, it attracks a little bit of attention to her and she likes that. They have to give her a little comb over like an old man. But they but a barrette in her hair to keep in place. She takes it out of her hair as soon as they are out of her sight. Well, I think that is enough about me and my boring life. Talk to you guys later and have a good day and great week-end!