Simply Wilddove's blog: "Thoughts and ramblings"

Thinking back a couple of years ago when I lived in town I would always sit under the carport late at night in the summertime. We lived on a little cut off street that ran into main street and late at night I would watch the STREET WALKERS doing their thing..lol..Oh yea! even in a small town we have them to.There was a Pentecostal church that was one house up from me,which at the time a friend of mine was the pastor ,his name is George,,,{George rides a harley he is pretty cool},, he is also a retired MIL. Chaplin and he had this thing about underlineing verses in the bible for me to read about the HINDI beliefs.He never could understand why I took so much interest in learning about it..Heck Sometimes I wonder myself..One thing I loved messing with his head..lol.George liked to freaked oneday when he asked why I did not go to church and my words were...Well George I can go 4 different ways in my life right now and from right here ..{1.}I was raised Southern Bapist,{2}I live next door to a PENTECOSTAL CHURCH,{3} I work with HINDU,But then again George {4} the Street walker thing looks like alot of fun..."Well ya just had to be there"...grin.. I have been thinking{don't get scared} lol about all the different Religens and Gods,I have lost track of the hindi Gods alone,Whew! Let alone the test that you have to take every so often at the Temple..It seems that even though the Christians preach to believe in only ONE GOD every denomination has their on idea on how we are going to get to Heaven..And truly believe that their way is the only correct way,,Hmmm!!!!! And the rules,,dang,,if you do this/that you going straight to HELL..Well if that the case then I won't have to use my frequent fliers miles,I'm going express non stop..Heck I've already started working on my condo. If God really wanted us in heaven,Why did he put so many rules on how you have to be/act to go to get there,and with no slip ups without a world of doing penance of some kind....And THE DEVIL has none..Well maybe two..Do what you want when you feel like it,and remembering that turning the other cheek hurts like a mother..lol.. You know going to heaven is alot of work.

I Do Unusual Things So I MUST Be Looking For Attention.. Well Damn, is that what it is?... All this time, I've been looking for attention... Hell, I just thought I put the eek!, in freak... lol Conform to nonconformity... Eric Hoffer:: Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity. Bill Vaughan::: My thoughts must conform to the rest of my nonconformist self; if not, they refuse to conform to nonconformity, thus conforming to conformity!

Big Daddy Bush is huffing and puffing because he is not getting his way,and for once I hope congress will show him that he is not the God he thinks he is.. We, as the people of the united states need to take a stand for once instead of doing our little bytching among ourselves where it dosen't do shyt,,I mean for once get off our dead asses and do something,,Anything!!.. We sit back and moan and groan about our Husbands,Sons,Brothers,Sisters,Wives,Daughters,Dads, get sent over to Iraq.{I know that feeling very well because my husband spent a year in Taji,Iraq}..We watch the fear and hurt in our childrens eyes as they watch their mom/dad leave.Now to sit here and listen to Bushes threat of if he does not get the money he needs, then our troops will not get the training they need...SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Does it mean that he is willing to risk the lifes of the ones we love anyway??..Sounds like that to me... When are we going to say enough is enough??We have a voice ,,damn we need to learn how to use it. Take a real good look at the shape that Iraq is in now compared to when Sadam was running it,,,It damn sure looks worse to me not better..Even before Sadam was hanged for his wrong doings I had stated that seeing how everything is now over there ,I believe that he did what he had to do to keep a hold of the situation,,he had to instill fear in the people,I am not saying what he did was right but I sure think that Iraq was in better shape back then than it is now...think about it...... As congress has stated they will give him no more money to play war with,I really get pissed when I listened to him spewing what he is going to do no matter what..that when everything gets sent to him he will veto it.. People it is totaly senseless for our guys to be over there in the first place.And Bush is going to keep doing as he damn well pleases,,why because we are a country of moaners and groaners.. You want to know what is sad??? What is sad is that the people who's Sons and Daughters that are being sent to this bullshit war is the same people who as young adults stood up and protested the VIETMAM WAR..THE FLOWER CHILD,HIPPI GENERATION..REMEMBER YOUR SLOGAN MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.. Why can't you stand up now?? Is it the fact that when it was you going to war you could protest and voice out against it,,but,, when its your kids being sent you can sit back and do nothing..Seems like this would be the generation that would speak out ,,,NOT BEND OVER.. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?? WHERE ARE YOU NOW??

In my life I have trully given myself totaly to only 3 people{i don't mean sleep with},I am strong willed,bull-headed,and very self-reliant,and I can do anything I set my mind to.I do not live in a fairy tale bubble but in the true real world where life likes to play its stupid ass tricks on people,{trust me I have been the blunt of many} and I do not embrace the fact that sometimes there comes pain with that,nor do I believe that we act out/live our lives the way we do because of any kind of social conditioning,the world and our minds are very open ground we make your own choices.I know that addicted people use drugs as a type of brain reward.. SHEEZ !!reward for what,,stealing,lieing,not working,being a coward? I believe to be rewarded for something then do something worth rewarding. Every person handles hardships differently..some turn to drugs some start to drink..{which I do neither}.Personally I think that is the standard cowards way out, I depend on me and nothing else,my will,my strength.Do I admire some drunk or druggie that has cleaned up their act..NO.what is there to admire?? I think that its great when a person decides they don't want to live life like that and finally make up their mind to do something about it..Admire them no..who I admire is the women/men out there that work hard to give their families some kind of happiness in their lifes.My hat goes off to the single mothers out there raiseing her kids alone and being strong enough woman to instill values in her children.I am learning more and more every day just how hard that is. I think that when we feel tired and alittle over whelmed it is easy to fall into listening to what some people have to say but ,,,,be careful who you listen to/put your trust in,,that is sometimes how we end up in more shyt and feeling worse in the long run.But lets not forget people they tell us it is for our own good..the only thing I can say is TRUST YOURSELF before listening to anybody else ,,see how they live their lives ..and how they interact with their family and love ones..

I learned people are not as they seem to be I learned people do not pratice what they preach I learned people do not mean what they say I learned people do not take responsibity for their own actions I learned people will turn the blame on you I learned people will use you to build their self up I learned people will use your love and trust until their is no more I learned people will emotionly drained and discard you So you ask what did I learn from loving you; EVERYTHING ! mary

I am of the very most prim and proper kind of Princess, sweet, perfect and innocent, I love to be praised and complimented and adored.I just have one thing to say...Where is my damn castle??? Truth of the matter is I feel People are too scared to be colorful... {Well some people anyway} sometime I like to stand out from the crowd through shocking and extreme behavior.I do not always feel like being an accomplished individual and always having to rising to the top.Guys kill me sometimes,,but I will say you cannot always have things both ways..you want a prim-proper princess in the eyes of others but behind doors you want the slut-goddess....NAW,,HELL,,NAW..I"m not going that route. I will say that I can put on a mini skirt,heels,garter with stockings,or I can put on leathers and kick back on the back of a bike,or I can put on a suit and be a professional,But rest assured that what I put on only fits a mood it has nothing to do with the kind of woman I am.Everyone here has known me for quite awhile and know that this is my place to cut up and just have fun,and yes even yank a few chains along the way all in fun.But rest assured that in real life I carry myself as a lady at all times.

I am in one of my moods today.I am so flustrated {yea that to}having to look at someone while smileing and saying yes,I know,,,you"re right ,,,when all I want to say is Fawk-off will you you stupid idiot..Sometimes I get tired of trying to be nice,especially when the bitch is screaming to get out. So from this moment on, I am refusing to sugar coat anything ever again.Talking to a friend over this past weekend and her reminding me of how I used to be has got me thinking. Something else dawned on me, I know that I do not want to get married again anytime soon,but I do miss having a man in my life. I’ve always liked the idea of having someone who finds the same things funny that I do, who can laugh along with me at this difficult, wonderful, crazy, perplexing thing I call "life." I love love love a sense of humor in a man. What will always get me is the guy who almost seems to be trying to keep a lid on it and just can't help muttering something that he knows could get him in trouble. THE OH BOY I"m in trouble now thing.Don"t get me wrong I do love being in love but right now I just want to to be a bitch. I want to look firmly into a guys eyes when I tell him I want him to "f*ck me hard!"or to be able to say to him "No, not there. No, NOT THERE. A little lower, there you go. Right there. Right there. Yes. Right there. Yes. Yes. Yes! Don't stop! Yes. Right there! Oh you super giant gentle stud! Yes! Yes! Yes.. YEA I"m in a mood............

When I say that a mind turns me on,I do not mean that words alone constitute the workings of every woman's mind? but they do so captured our imagination Don"t they? When I first meet someone I listen to their words and how they use them in relateing to different things,this is especially true when I meet someone on line, words is what first attract me and creates the essence of that person,...hmmm,, ok use this analogy,,You may find the aroma and the taste of coffee to be entirely different phenomena. I don't think that coffee tastes much at all like it smells. I like them both, but while the aroma may attract me, it's the taste that causes me to keep on sipping, no longer just the aroma. I have always looked at how a person looks the same way: something about the look may draw me in, but then other things take over,to me looks are supperfical to soo many degrees, but the mind portrays the soul..hence to the essence... I want to be appreciated for the physical qualities the same as anyone else,but I have this uncontrollable need to to push myself,, to gain approval, I want to be loved for my essence, though I certainly like knowing that I turn my lover on by the way I look.{you can"t always read poetry by candle light}lol...I know a reflection of how a person looks is important,but a reflection is still just a mere empty shell, we are so much more than a body we are a mind, but we are clothed in flesh. We engage the world through our words and our actions; others, in turn, know our minds only through our words and actions, through the filter of their own senses.We have to remember is intentions occur first in the mind. We are all creatures of mind, we can only be touched by material things insofar as they become part of our mind through the our senses. happiness is an emotion, sadness is an emotion, and being effects of the mind, they can be manipulated by mind. conceivably, we could dream our lives away, safe in our own fantasies.

I was reading on some things on lifes lessons and came across some that struck home. Now mind me, I usually take some of these so called self help and conditioning theories with a grain of salt,I have to admit that some I might agree with and then there are things that I sit back and say...yea-right...We all come with our own unique feeding manual so to speak...We each have our own needs and speeds for growth, no two people are going to be the same,or move forward at the rate of speed. Some people just don't have what we need. So why waste our time, banging on their doors, ringing their bells, demanding service? Once we get into our heads that some of these people are full of bull-shyt then we pay no heed to anything they have to say anyway,so move on.I have heard all my life. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree,, all we can do is watch and try to stay away from the so called ROTTEN APPLES,My mom used to say 1 rotten apple can spoil the whole basket..One meaning of this being, it's fruitless to ask bad apple people for advice. For instance, don't ask career-less people for career advice ... or relationship-less people for relationship advice.We can always tell who someone is by the circumstances which they grow in their own lives.{Watch and see how they live their lives} listen to a person carefully never take one indivisuals lives theory as the one and only way,What was right for them might not be right for me,or for you. And Remember...Although you know, that ... you know? You never really know.