Jessica AKA 2Cute4U actually in arizona's blog: "Today"

I just have to let it out of my system because lately i have just been so down in the dumps that i don't really wanna talk to anyone. WHY AM I ALWAYS BEING TREATED LIKE FUCKIN SHIT? Every relationship i have gotten into i have been called names, accused of shit im not even doin (Cheating etc).... i am not fuckin like that. Yes I did cheat one time and i had such a guilty fuckin conscience that i told him that night... It was the worst thing i could have done in my fuckin life and i swear to God i will never ever do it again. NOT IN MY FUCKIN LIFETIME. I am probably the most loyal person yo will ever fuckin meet.. but maybe i should fuck around... im being accused of shit ... it fuckin sucks and i'm so fuckin hurt by it! I try to treat my guy with respect and love ..I get trampled on for it... I've been fuckin controlled and stupid me i listen to everythin and do what they want ... What is it with you guys? And i say this to my ex's(which wont read this) .. You had a fuckin girl that loved you and would do anythin in the world for you. I tried to give it my all but that's not good enough. You fell in love with who i am... My personality (you loved it).. then as the relationship progressed you tried to change me... tried to keep me from the world. WTF! Just cause i talk to people doesnt mean im tryin to get with everyone... I just don't understand it. I wanna be fuckin loved for who i am... don't try to change me... I like goin out and doin things.. not sittin home on the couch ... i want someone that can treat me with decent respect ... that wants to go out and do things with me as well as my daughter... I don't need fuckin bullshit anymore. Yes I'm upset .. very very upset ... you wanna know why? Because i'm tired of the head games and yes it stems from what i'm involved with now. I dont even know where i stand with him.. first we are on then the next we are off.. he cant make up his mind.. it hurts.. now i know he really dont love me. Its all a fuckin game... and guys i'm sorry if you play them you SUCK! Because you have girls out there that would treat you like gold and not ask for anythin in return .... but know what you want before you get involved... don't hurt me or anyone else anymore! I'm gonna go.. goin to work all fuckin upset!

I just have to let it out of my system because lately i have just been so down in the dumps that i don't really wanna talk to anyone. WHY AM I ALWAYS BEING TREATED LIKE FUCKIN SHIT? Every relationship i have gotten into i have been called names, accused of shit im not even doin (Cheating etc).... i am not fuckin like that. Yes I did cheat one time and i had such a guilty fuckin conscience that i told him that night... It was the worst thing i could have done in my fuckin life and i swear to God i will never ever do it again. NOT IN MY FUCKIN LIFETIME. I am probably the most loyal person yo will ever fuckin meet.. but maybe i should fuck around... im being accused of shit ... it fuckin sucks and i'm so fuckin hurt by it! I try to treat my guy with respect and love ..I get trampled on for it... I've been fuckin controlled and stupid me i listen to everythin and do what they want ... What is it with you guys? And i say this to my ex's(which wont read this) .. You had a fuckin girl that loved you and would do anythin in the world for you. I tried to give it my all but that's not good enough. You fell in love with who i am... My personality (you loved it).. then as the relationship progressed you tried to change me... tried to keep me from the world. WTF! Just cause i talk to people doesnt mean im tryin to get with everyone... I just don't understand it. I wanna be fuckin loved for who i am... don't try to change me... I like goin out and doin things.. not sittin home on the couch ... i want someone that can treat me with decent respect ... that wants to go out and do things with me as well as my daughter... I don't need fuckin bullshit anymore. Yes I'm upset .. very very upset ... you wanna know why? Because i'm tired of the head games and yes it stems from what i'm involved with now. I dont even know where i stand with him.. first we are on then the next we are off.. he cant make up his mind.. it hurts.. now i know he really dont love me. Its all a fuckin game... and guys i'm sorry if you play them you SUCK! Because you have girls out there that would treat you like gold and not ask for anythin in return .... but know what you want before you get involved... don't hurt me or anyone else anymore! I'm gonna go.. goin to work all fuckin upset!

I just have to let it out of my system because lately i have just been so down in the dumps that i don't really wanna talk to anyone. WHY AM I ALWAYS BEING TREATED LIKE FUCKIN SHIT? Every relationship i have gotten into i have been called names, accused of shit im not even doin (Cheating etc).... i am not fuckin like that. Yes I did cheat one time and i had such a guilty fuckin conscience that i told him that night... It was the worst thing i could have done in my fuckin life and i swear to God i will never ever do it again. NOT IN MY FUCKIN LIFETIME. I am probably the most loyal person yo will ever fuckin meet.. but maybe i should fuck around... im being accused of shit ... it fuckin sucks and i'm so fuckin hurt by it! I try to treat my guy with respect and love ..I get trampled on for it... I've been fuckin controlled and stupid me i listen to everythin and do what they want ... What is it with you guys? And i say this to my ex's(which wont read this) .. You had a fuckin girl that loved you and would do anythin in the world for you. I tried to give it my all but that's not good enough. You fell in love with who i am... My personality (you loved it).. then as the relationship progressed you tried to change me... tried to keep me from the world. WTF! Just cause i talk to people doesnt mean im tryin to get with everyone... I just don't understand it. I wanna be fuckin loved for who i am... don't try to change me... I like goin out and doin things.. not sittin home on the couch ... i want someone that can treat me with decent respect ... that wants to go out and do things with me as well as my daughter... I don't need fuckin bullshit anymore. Yes I'm upset .. very very upset ... you wanna know why? Because i'm tired of the head games and yes it stems from what i'm involved with now. I dont even know where i stand with him.. first we are on then the next we are off.. he cant make up his mind.. it hurts.. now i know he really dont love me. Its all a fuckin game... and guys i'm sorry if you play them you SUCK! Because you have girls out there that would treat you like gold and not ask for anythin in return .... but know what you want before you get involved... don't hurt me or anyone else anymore! I'm gonna go.. goin to work all fuckin upset!

I'm now fuckin single.. well i have no idea what the fuck is goin on but the excuse i got for him not being with me is the funniest thing i ever heard in my fuckin life. "I can't be with you because i'm attracted to you. I want you all the time and i can't have you. I am sexually frustrated by you.. I can't concentrate on my work or anythin cause all i wanna do is get laid". Oh my freakin word! Is that such a bad thing to be attracted to your own gf? I think its a buncha bullshit and he's just fuckin afraid of committment because the relationship was starting to get serious... If you love someone as he says he loves me and that i have his heart, u should be able to get through it right .. work things out right? Wrong. This guy had my freaking heart .. still does even though it shattered into a million pieces. The story of what happened is actually pretty long and as i type very fast im just tired from lack of sleep... yes i have been cryin .. yes i am very upset ... i will live but i really wanna be with him ... so i ask myself this ?... why are guys such jerks?

OMG I had an amazing time at the Brad Paisley concert last night in Philly. I was excited about going and i'm so happy my friend matt asked me to go. We had tickets but they were lawn tickets at the tweeter center... but they were actually pretty good spot. The stage is set up and then a small area of seats.. then there's a pathway and a grassy hill.. we were in the lawn section right next to the railing... so we could see pretty good... and it was cool cause no matter where you were you could see.. but i liked being on the lawn because you could get up moved around and dance. I was happy. When we got there, matt and i went to find his sis, who had the spot picked out already. They were there chillin... She went and got us this really tall thin drink... strawberry daiguri but i swear to God that thing was more alcohol then anythin else. I made the mistake of drinkin it within 10 min and being as I am so lil it began to take some effect on me. Worst thing was that i had to go to the bathroom and i had a lil trouble walking there lol. But I did make it back in time to see Jack Ingram perform. WOOHOO! It was awesome... Kelly Pickler was there and so was Taylor swift.. matt and i took a break and went to walk around.. i bought a brad paisley shirt for me and one for my sis and we headed back to our spot. Brad Paisley came on .. opening with ONLINE.. a song about a really dorky guy who pretends to be someone like brad online... it's really a cute song ... I got some pics.. but my camera died so i ended up using matts.. It was cool though he let me.. cause he was like "aren't you taken pics?" and I was like "I can't mine just died" and he just up and handed me his camera...Dude is 6'4" he could have prolly gotten better pics then me but it was cool. Concert ended at 11pm and we headed home. I just had a wonderful time.. Matt's really not a country person but it's cool that he can tolerate it just to have a good time. It doesn't bother him and he could see i was having a great time. We talked on the way home .. and he let me listen to my country music lol... but it was cool and i consider him now to be a great friend... he's lookin out for me too... Gotta write about somethin that happened to me but i will do it in another blog.... hopefully i can get more pics up.. i do have to level up... but i will do soon... Brad paisley ROCKS!

Peepz, if you happen to add me on myspace please be careful what you say on there... My ex is completely pyscho... please do not mention fubar on any comments or emails.. he hacks into my account... he always has and nothin i do stops him.. so please do me a favor.. i don't want him knowing about this.. thanks!

I Fuckin hate guys! I think im gonna turn gay so i dont have to worry bout fuckin bullshit anymore!

Please everyone sign my guestbook on my main page.. if you read this blog then there is no excuse for you not to! HAHAHAH!... i will be lookin for you all.. i just wanna show off my friends and hey if you have one, let me know and i will sign yours too.. just to be fair! MUAH to all my peepz! you guys are the bomb!

For the past 2 days i feel that i have been very productive.. yesterday i took my daughter and her 10 yr old friend dakota (along with my mom) out to lunch then bowlin... we chilled a lil bit at home and then i got to work on the room that dess and i share... i tore everythin out from the toy boxes, to the dresser, to the closet.. moved the bed.. everythin .. it is so freakin nice the way i did it .. maybe i should get a job as a reorganizer or somethin.. NAH! I love my retail job so much! Oh yeah and today at work.. freakin awesome.. i didn't get as much done as i would have liked to.. I wanted to be all through my boys dept but i did get all of Boys 4-7x done... it was a lot of wooden fixtures I had to moved around.. lets just say i got my exercise.... hmmm. building muscle at kohls... lol... no wonder im so tired when i get home... anyways, i was able to put out a lot of merchandise in that dept today... I am proud of myself... for once... considering tues i wanted to pull my hair out when i was redoin the infants/toddler dept. What a change of pace.. lol! Anyways i'm happy ... just with the way life is goin for me... I hope it stays that way.. my sis comes home tomorrow (HEAVEN HELP ME) and my daughter has been spending time with her friend dakota.... so ive had time to myself .. and i really needed it ... just havin fun..this weekend we are plannin to do a couple things... ocean city, midnight bowlin .. whatever goes.. but just wanted to write a bit... ta ta for now!

Are there any decent, nice guys out there? You know? Not the control freaks? I am a really nice girl and don't do anyone wrong but it always seems as though i'm the one always shitted on. I don't think there is one relationship that i have been in where i haven't been controlled... What is it with you guys? If you get one loyal girl that's not gonna cheat on you, you freak out. I guess you do it cause you wanna keep herb ut news flash...the more you control someone the more they break the rules... Look, I get into a relationship.. i'm in it to stay... i just can't believe how much bullshit one has to put up with. And the mind games that people play... OMG! "I'm gonna break up with you if you don't pick up the phone when i call"... just stupid, petty bullshit like that. If you love someone and care about them as much as you say that you do, you don't play games like that... nor do you turn around and break up over stupid bullshit stuff like that. I'm just tired of it all.. and think i'm either gonna turn gay or just not get into a relationship anymore for awhile.. unless someone can prove to me that they aren't about that ... whatever happened to honesty and trust in a relationship? I'm all for it .. if you wanna know what i'm doin or who i'm talkin to... I'm not gonna hesitate to tell you ... just give me that chance...I want that kinda relationship..well, umm I don't think i'm gonna find it .. so you know what? I'm gonna cut my losses!