Tony's blog: "Tony's Blog"

Is inspiration brought on by an external creative force or is it something that sparks inside us? Each day when I awake in the morning, I lie still in silence. Not only because I'm too lazy to get out of bed and start my day. Not only because I'm still sleepy. Not because it is too cold outside of my covers and I would rather stay in a place that is warm and comfortable. We all sometimes prolong our mornings for those reasons but I try to find a much higher reason to start my day. I lie in silence and try to create what my day would be like. I wait until my mind reveals to me what I need to do that day and I imagine the task completed. I try to imagine what I need to do that day being completed. I focus on the feeling I get after finishing the task. Once I get a feeling that inspires me, I jump out of bed with excitement. I love starting my day like this. Rather than going through the day taking things as they come, I create what my day would be like and I would get inspiration to make it happen. Inspiration has kept me awake late until the early morning and has filled me with energy when I wake up. Inspiration has kept ideas flow through my mind and manifest in flawless words through my mouth. When inspired I can remember talking freely without a break in thought. Inspiration has given me ideas to write for hours. It has given me solutions to software development problems. I have written hundreds of lines of code and thousands of words when I'm inspired. I have solved mechanical problems with my car and my home without completely understanding the system. I have developed a collection of my own software and written pages of ideas and thoughts and painted dozens of pictures on my walls. Inspiration has caused me to continue creating all throughout my entire life. Inspiration is not only granted to artist, writers, programmers and creative types. Inspiration can cause someone to start a charity event. Inspiration can cause people to have a party in their home. Inspiration causes people to create, whether it is something tangible or it is some kind of concept or idea. The question is that, is inspiration brought to us from some creative force outside of ourselves? Or is it the individual’s skills that brought on this ability? I have read some where that Einstein believed that his ideas just came to him. Dr. Wayne Dyer, an inspirational author has broken down the word "inspire" into two words "in spirit". He meant that it is like a spirit that comes through us when we are inspired. If we do decide to believe that inspiration comes to us from somewhere in the universe, then does that provide us with possible evidence to the existence of God? Maybe? After all God is the father of creation.

We all perceive reality differently? Many people believe reality is definite. It is a wide belief that what happens in reality will be perceived exactly the same as everyone else’s perception. It is human habit to assume that other people’s view of the world, is the same way as theirs. When one sees a table, they believe everyone else sees the table too. When one sees a color, they believe everyone else sees the color in the same way as they do too. When they hear a sound, people generally believe the sound is perceived the same to other people too. A touch can be experienced the same as each person as well. Are experiences the same with each one of us or are they relative? You see most of us perceive the world primarily with five different ways. Most of us first perceive reality with ranges of light waves through our eyes. We also taste the minute particles in the air through our nostrils and into the sensors in the nasal cavity. We can determine a wide range of texture by the sensors in our skin and our finger tips. We can distinguish a range of vibrations in the air though a thin membrane in our ear called an ear drum. And lastly, we can analyze and distinguish chemicals in a substance through the sensitive nerves on the pallet of our tongues. Ever since we were born our minds developed associations with all of our commonly known five senses. We associate different ranges of light to a name of a color. We associate the sensation of different smells to the name of the object that was examined. We gave different names to the variety of levels of texture that we can feel with our skin. We associate common patterns of sound vibration to words in our many different languages. Similarly to smell, our taste buds associate the sensation to the name of the object. Right at this moment I'm sitting with a cup of coffee in front of me. My association with the taste of coffee cannot be measured, described, explained to anyone else to the extent where they would experience coffee the same way as I would. The association of my experience, with the word to describe texture, "smooth" cannot be described or explained to anyone else until they allow their touch be associated with that word "smooth" also. The same way goes to sound patterns. Our minds have developed associations with a huge variety of sound patterns to names. We have names to describe all kinds of sound patterns. Although each of us can relate a memory of a humming sound, there is no way to prove that two people experience a humming sound the same way. Lastly, this brings us to color. Each one of us has associated a frequency of light to a name of a color. The frequency of energy can be measured and labeled as a certain color but our perception of the way we interpret the signals from our eyes to our brains vary from one human being to the next. There is no way to prove that one person perceives color the same as another.

Why it is important to see that reality is different for each one of us? There can be problems with believing that everyone experiences the world the same way he or she does. Imagine a person who believes that everyone has the same views as he or she. If he is disgusted with something then he would believe that everyone is disgusted with the same thing. Imagine if he found something pleasant, then he would believe that everyone would find the same thing pleasant. It's obvious because he believes everyone experiences the world in the same way as himself. Preferences are also built in when we make associations to a sensation. For example, some of us like the taste of coffee. Others may love the taste of coffee. It all depends on the associations that were made at the time of their experiences. If two people experience the world in the same way, then it is only logical that they would develop the same preferences. If the same associations were made, then the same levels of pleasantness were experienced. The same levels of pleasantness develop a sense of preference. So an arbitrary person believes if he sees the color blue, then others see the color blue. If he finds the smell of flowers pleasant than others find the smell of flowers pleasant. If he is disgusted by the sight of two homosexuals showing affection then he believe others feel the same way. But it is not the same with every human being. One person may say a color is blue and another may say it is purple. One person may find a particular flower with a pleasant odor and another person may find it repulsive. And it is obvious that all people all develop a variety of preferences. We may all have different preferences because we all have a unique experience of the world and reality. You see if one believes that everyone experiences things the same as themselves, then it would allow them to not try to understand the way someone else views the world. (thread)

Can one choose the way they perceive the world? One time I was reading through the writings of a sixteen year old girl. She wrote on her theories and her beliefs. I was impressed by the way she viewed the world for someone her age. When I was reading through some of the other peoples comments, I noticed a few people, my age, were contradicting her ideas. It seemed as though they viewed the world as stressful and difficult. Her reply to them is that she thought it was sad that they see their lives like that. One of their comments, in reply, was that once she gets older she would see that the world is more like their view and less like hers. When I asked her about that comment she explained that some people don't see their lives as a gift rather they choose to see their lives as a burden. I explained to her my theory on perceiving the world. I believe that what makes the young so beautiful is that they can see the world with a fresh open mind. When people get older they lose that outlook in life. One key on being young is to have an outlook on life like a young person would. Not just to agree to see the world and life as a gift. To really practice seeing life that way, the words that should always come to mind are beauty, appreciation, wonder, amazement and life is great. Also really try to stop yourself when words come to mind are difficult, impossible, "can't be done", "this sucks". Even now, while I'm writing these words into my Treo, in a cafe in Princeton, I can over hear a conversation behind me about how people perceive the world. The voice explained how some people are happy-go-lucky and "see the world with rosey colored sweetness." He said, "I don't, I'm a realist." It is a funny thing about being a "realist." Every "realist" is so sure about how they view the world yet no two "realists" can agree to see the world in the same way. So, can one choose the way they perceive the world? Of course.

Reality is what you make of it Einstein believed time is relative. He may have also believed that reality is relative. It has been said that “reality is what you make of it.” I find that you can choose your reality by choosing what you observe in the world. If we look at how other organisms view their world, we can see there are many perceptions of reality. For example, an eagle has a much greater vision than any human and they can distinguish movement from great distances. A dog observes their world through smell. A bat observes their world through sound. There is almost an infinite way to observe reality. Even no two human beings can observe reality the same way. Since there are so many ways to observe the world, a person can decide what way to observe reality much in the same way a bat chooses to see the world through sound. I’m not saying a human can develop incredible hearing powers. A person can focus on what their reality is made up of. Thus “reality is what you make of it.” A person really can decide how they view the world. A person can focus on how painful life is. Or a person can focus how beautiful the world is. Two people can witness the same thing and they can both describe a different story. Let’s say two people are riding their bikes in a paved pathway in a park. Park maintenance don’t always maintain their pathways so the two bike riders may encounter many holes, sand, gravel or anything that may obstruct their pathway. One rider may see the pathway as dangerous and in need of fixing because many of these obstacles forced him to react and avoid them. The other rider may see each of these obstacles as something that is fun to cross. I remember riding my mountain bike with a friend. And one time we encountered a shallow stream that crossed our path. I saw it as a challenge and enjoyed crossing the obstacle without falling down. My companion felt it was a nuisance that she encountered an obstacle in our path. Many things in life can be either viewed as challenges or nuisances. People generally are not aware that they can decide which way they want to perceive what they encounter. A person can encounter an obstacle and see it in two ways. A person who is generally afraid may see an obstacle as a nuisance. A person who is not aware of what can go wrong doesn’t see the obstacle as a problem at all. So reality can be relative. Reality is different on each way it can be perceived.

It is almost like appreciating everything that happens in this world Imagine going through life appreciating everything that happens in this world. I use to pull into my driveway very late at night. After getting out of my car I would look up into the clear night sky. I would stop walking and be amazed at how beautiful the stars would look. I would stop and give thanks to God, that I’m alive and I can witness something so beautiful. I would also come out of work after a long day. The sun would start to go down, which made the sky almost appear glowing. I would pass by a tree and see the contrast of colors between the tree and the sun setting sky. I would be so amazed at the light affects, that I would be seen standing mesmerized in the parking lot. Imagine going through life finding beauty in everything. No it is not that difficult to do. If you practice finding the positive in any situation, then it eventually becomes easier and easier. Well, how can one find beauty when the world is at war? How can one find beauty when people are dying? How can one find beauty when one is losing a beloved family member? How can one find beauty when dying of a terminal disease? How can one find beauty when one is suffering? Well, if you believe you cannot, then you can never do. I never found myself in those such terrible situations. But I am sure that I can find beauty in anything. Earlier I explained on focusing only on the positive things. If one would focus only on the positive, then the negative would cease to exist. For example a light spectrum is made up of many different forms of energy waves. We can only see a small portion of that which is made up as what we see as visible light. Ultraviolet light rays, infra red light rays and radar waves are invisible to human eyes. Yet there are so many ways to see an object, we can only be able to see the object in visible colors. What I’m getting at is that we still have a choice on how we view our world. See only the positive things in this world regardless of how many negative things that are happening. Imagine if you were a soldier at war. You are a witness to violence, destruction, death, fear and so on. Now image being in a mortar attack and another soldier grabs you and pulls you to safety before a mortar blows up in your place. There is so much to appreciate in witnessing the bravery of one soldier saving another. That would be very difficult for people to appreciate if they are only focusing on the death and ugliness all around them. Imagine witnessing the death of all the victims in the World Trade Center. That was a very horrifying time for all of us. Now focus on how grateful and patriotic Americans became on the days that followed. Imagine losing a very close family member. And now appreciate how beautiful it is when the rest of the family members support each other in their crisis. Each time it is possible to appreciate beauty in everything. It is a sad thing for those of you who cannot do it. It means that your world is filled with ugliness and fear.

My Niece

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My Retirement, July 2003 I lost more money in the stock market. I think I'm going to give up on the day trading idea. Not watching the market yesterday made me realize why I took the package to begin with. It wasn’t to day trade on a full time basis. I just wanted to improve my life. It was to travel and live a totally free lifestyle. I was not doing that by spending the day watching the market. I woke up a 4:00am this morning and decided to clean my house. I was throwing out a lot of junk that has been around for years. I put away some clutter around the house and now I’m mentally and physically preparing myself to get ready for my travels. Letter to Noy, July 16, 2003: Hi Noy, I'm sorry that I haven't returned any of your phone calls. I have been having a busy last couple of days. On Monday I went to drop off Masha at her place. I went to central park to log into my computer. I emailed Donna if she is available for lunch and then I went downtown to visit her. When I came back to my car it was missing. I spent most of Monday tracking down my car. I didn't talk to you last night because I was exhausted and went to sleep around 6. Tuesday, I went to pay for the parking tickets and pick up my car. I had to take the train from upper Manhattan down to Brighton Beach Brooklyn. When I finally got my car, it was too damaged to drive back into NJ. The tow company was going to fix the damage, no cost to me. I had very few minutes left on my phone that I couldn't talk to anyone before 9. In the evening I stayed in NY one more night. last night I went to see a movie, "Pirates of the Caribbean." I had to fill in Kham and Florence when they called me last night before the movie. Today I will call the garage and then take a bus back to NJ. As you can see it has been a busy couple of days. Sorry for not returning your call. Another Busy Week Monday, July 21, 2003, I had another busy weekend. For the last several days I haven't been home and I have been wearing the same clothes since Saturday. Saturday morning I woke up at 6:00 AM again. Instead of calling Masha, or anyone else, I decided to take Max to the park. It is about 2 miles away. I traveled that morning with Max for 5 miles. The poor dog was exhausted. While I was out running with Max, Donna left a message on my phone. I called her back to make plans for the weekend. A couple of minutes later, Dorota called. She suggested coming over with Eileen that day. I told her I had plans. After that, Masha called. She wanted to go to the beach. I told her I had plans but we decide to meet at the beach anyway. I took my bike to Brighton Beach and stayed there with her until 4:30. I headed to Jersey City after that. When I got to Donna's apartment, I parked my bike and we took her car to the drive in. We drove 40 minutes away to get to the drive in theater. It was fun, I never been to a drive in theater before. We saw "Finding Nemo" and "Pirates of the Carabean." Well, I slept through the pirate movie. I didn't have the heart to tell Donna I saw the movie already. We got back to her place around 3:00 AM. I slept on the couch. The next morning we went to Dim Sum. After brunch we hung out at her place watching cartoons. It was fun hanging out with Donna. I decided to drop by my parents house since I was in the area. When I got there, it struck me that my mother and sister wasn't surprised to see me. It was almost as if they expected me to be there. It appears that everyone forgot to call me that morning. My parents were having a family gathering for my grandmother's 40 days after her death. It was either a coincidence that I showed up at my parents house or my grandmother put it into my head to go home. I took a nap before the party and that is when Masha called. She wanted me to drop by that day and hang out with her. So after the party I went to her apartment to hang out. The next morning, which is this morning I took a ride back to my parents house. I hung out with my father for a while before I took the long way back home. I drove through the Jersey shore, stopping by Gunnison beach along the way. Trip to New Orleans August 3, 2003, I Decided to take a road trip to New Orleans. I always wanted to go there. I always wanted to travel alone. So a couple of days after I decided to leave, I packed my car and headed south west. SANY0001.JPG SANY0002.JPG SANY0003.JPG SANY0004.JPG SANY0005.JPG SANY0006.JPG SANY0007.JPG SANY0008.JPG SANY0009.JPG I kept driving until 4:30 in the morning. I left Jersey City around 10:00 PM. And now I'm in Harrisburg, VA. August 4, 2003, I took my time driving through Virginia. I found a national forest that I explored. The dirt roads were a little treacherous. I encountered a couple of guys whose truck fell down the ravine. They told me they were fine so I left them alone. There were so many beautiful landscapes that I couldn't help stopping and taking some shots. SANY0001.JPG SANY0002.JPG SANY0003.JPG SANY0004.JPG SANY0005.JPG SANY0006.JPG SANY0007.JPG SANY0008.JPG SANY0009.JPG SANY0010.JPG SANY0011.JPG SANY0012.JPG SANY0013.JPG SANY0014.JPG SANY0015.JPG SANY0016.JPG SANY0017.JPG SANY0018.JPG August 5, 2003, I got to New Orleans. I was kind of enjoying my trip so I was surprisingly sad that I was almost there. It was a 106 degrees so I stayed at a coffee house near the French quarter until I found a campsite to stay at. When the sun went down I went out and explored the French quarter. I stayed out late watching some kareoke and some live music. SANY0001.JPG SANY0002.JPG SANY0003.JPG SANY0004.JPG Camping Trips I went on one camping trip with Florence's friends and I also introduced my roommate to some off-roading and canoeing. CampingTrip20030823 CampingTrip20030906 Maine Trip, September 18-24, 2003 Kham and I headed up to Maine to visit his older brother Kenny. We took the 350Z so we can ride with Kenny and his car. SANY0001.JPG SANY0002.JPG SANY0003.JPG SANY0004.JPG SANY0005.JPG SANY0006.JPG SANY0007.JPG SANY0008.JPG SANY0009.JPG SANY0010.JPG SANY0011.JPG SANY0012.JPG SANY0013.JPG SANY0014.JPG SANY0015.JPG SANY0016.JPG We rode through Maine with both 350Zs. SANY0017.JPG SANY0018.JPG SANY0019.JPG SANY0020.JPG SANY0021.JPG SANY0022.JPG SANY0023.JPG SANY0024.JPG SANY0025.JPG SANY0026.JPG SANY0027.JPG SANY0028.JPG SANY0029.JPG SANY0030.JPG SANY0031.JPG SANY0032.JPG SANY0033.JPG SANY0034.JPG SANY0035.JPG SANY0036.JPG SANY0037.JPG SANY0038.JPG SANY0039.JPG SANY0040.JPG SANY0041.JPG SANY0042.JPG SANY0043.JPG SANY0044.JPG SANY0045.JPG SANY0046.JPG SANY0047.JPG SANY0048.JPG SANY0049.JPG SANY0050.JPG SANY0051.JPG SANY0052.JPG SANY0053.JPG SANY0054.JPG SANY0055.JPG SANY0056.JPG SANY0057.JPG SANY0058.JPG SANY0059.JPG SANY0060.JPG SANY0061.JPG SANY0062.JPG SANY0063.JPG SANY0064.JPG SANY0065.JPG SANY0066.JPG Nova Scotia SANY0067.JPG SANY0068.JPG SANY0069.JPG SANY0070.JPG SANY0071.JPG SANY0072.JPG SANY0073.JPG SANY0074.JPG Maine/thumbnails /tnSANY0075.JPG" alt="SANY0075.JPG" border="0" width="250" height="189">SANY0075.JPG Business Venture I decided to "get my feet wet" in owning a small business. Since I don't have any clue on how to start a business, I decided to go with a franchise. I am looking into buying a UPS store near my house. I got the numbers faxed to me and I sent an email to my advisors to hear their opinion: I pretty much made up my mind on whether I should buy this store. I just wanted to see if any of you have any opinions on these numbers. I'm open to any concerns or comments you folks feel you have to express. Thanks, Tony Note: The store is listed at 144,250. A new store will cost 190k to open. West Windsor is highly populated with high income familes. There is a competing store that is 2.5 miles away on the same street and Staples is 3 miles away at the end of the same street. I'm attaching the fax the owner sent me and my analysis of the numbers. Natasha's Sisters My last week of retirement I spent a month before I got my store training to run a UPS Store. I had one last week of freedom before I started working. Natasha and I arranged for her sisters to fly up from Florida while I was away in San Diego. We were in a four way conversation through our cell phones. I was able to use the my laptop to book the flight for her two sisters. When I got back to New Jersey we picked them up from the airport. Natasha was so happy to have her family staying over in New Jersey. I spent the last week showing them around New York and New Jersey. I was a driver, a photographer, a baby sitter and a tour guide. Although I was busy every day showing them around, I had a lot of fun for myself.