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ULtRA's blog: "Tower"

created on 10/20/2007  |  http://fubar.com/tower/b143818

Yes, as hard as it is to beleive, I have talked with 7,012 different woman on the internet stemming from July, 2003 when I got my first computer and not a single one exept the druggie Christine 'Too much to dream / Lips like morphine' [Yes she is on morphine] I actualy saw, met or dated for more than a day.

Simpy put, I just don't know how to accknowledge, keep, interest or even ask out a woman. Alot of them already were in a relationship or were/ are mommas.

I just wanted to thank all of yous for a splendid couple of years on Fubar and thanks for being a friend!

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Juicy #1 of '09! She is amazing!
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Blueeyes
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Grey
< img src="http://b.pca1.fubar.com/98/70/1270789/tn_894794954.jpg" width"75" height"100" devil
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RedemptionGal>

Dee-Nell!>

BaByBoo! mwa! She rocks! Lovely! >

Erikkuhh >

Chaotic!>

Lil Devil long time friend!>

Temptress Darkside Dollie. Best in 2007!* >

Sexy Chele! Best of '08! Almost met*>

A44Girl! Woot                      >

Bad Biitch Status! AWW!
Stephie! What a g/f! lol (Fu G/f)
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Biker girl! MaMa! Best of '09*

 

Yea it has been 5 years since I was actually physcially with a girl in real life, and she and I parted ways after one single week. Some days I remain hopeful, some days I remain lost but on days where I venture out to sacred hollow places and find young lovers holding hands their has to be a stuttered nerve in my body somewhere, and its telling my mind why? Why can't I find a girlfriend? A girlfriend that will like me for just me? When I don't look she isn't there, when I do look I get shut down, or I don't try at all, because I know my effort are futile. I turn to God the man upstairs, or if you can hear me, end this suffering end this misery, please, that's all I ask, where is She? I'll be 28 in a few months and I get a feeling its a looong road to nowhere. 919077197.gifimg>

1-11- Spotlight

ll, it was a close call, but I've been trying for tha Fu-Spotlight for weeks now, and its all I had left to accomplish on the site other than Oracle, lol whenever that happens...And so it has happened. Was a close call because for 2 different days I could of won but I dozed off.. And so tonight someone wnet head to head with me, but I stuck it out at the last 30 seconds to 3am, so...Yay..I finally made it! I would like to dedicate this to all my friends, who accompany me..yeah I have A.D.D and I've had very few real life friends over the years..it's go to see Im remembered..so to those I salute you! And may you all be blessed in this hard economic time, I know Im managing ok.. Mwah

Me in a nutshell. (c)2007

8232200012.JPGimg> Here's the blog combined with everything from last year to know everything about me. Veiw discretion advised. I grew up in a rural outskirts town in Massachusetts on Rockwell St. In Malden, Mass. on May 29, 1981. I lived in a 2 story house that my dad's father assisted in renovating in 1966.It was a big house with its causals. It haunted me alot prior to leaving for Florida in 1989, with my grandma and aunt, and my immediate family. Reasons were the weather and business opportunity. I grew up an only child and often fantasized about woman even at 7. I couldn't wait to hit puberty. I was a late bloomer, everything I did was late late. I hardly understood speech and had to take classes. I got held back in 1st grade in 1988. The teacher Ms. Maderos of Forrestdale elemantary school was very strict and I got my name written on the board more times than I should of. Now, accelerating into the 90's I had alot of bullies and my older cousin often harassed me, because I looked very much a fairy as a kid. Blonde hair, honey eyes..you get it. I had a particular bully I was very jealous of Tom, around 5th grade, in 1993. He has blue eyes, pale skin, and heavy body got any girl he wanted and beat up just about any guy that stood up to him. His friend had a fight with me one day after school, and it was the only time in my life I stood up to someone through anger. (pretty much). Later in high school i was quite the underachiever. I played Super Nintendo alot after school, and I became very sexual. I loved females and the tight scanilly attire they'd wear, and long hair. Now this was after fashion became God aroun 1999. I would end up never having any woman even after high school, just not having the guts to ask, and constantly being around my double twin friends, which I was very close to. I eventually lost contact with all my friends. In 2003 I was exiting college for my major in Business, and struggled in math of late. I tried to re-enter for the fall term in 2004 but it got held on the Waist-size. I became a product of Publix Supermarkets, the only job I ever had Besides a busboy at the Outback Steakhouse in Lantana, with my other full time job in Publix. I decided to step aside from college since my information won't terminate till 2009, and stepped up at my job as a full time produce clerk. Publix became my life since I had been to 4 stores In both Boca Raton and here in Boynton Beach, Fl. So no, I continue to Search for that girl that will free my negative influences and dark gloomy world of mine. My mind had shofted to negativity over the past few years as I know having nothing but my parents, it's hard to find and trust anyone that cares.I drive a new Mercedes now. I dedicate this blog however to my late friend always, Amanda Latonia. I love you girl always, and goodluck with your life in California, England, Philadelphia and here in Florida. Also, I dedicate this to Fubar User 345647'Only in his dreams/ No longer in his dreams, for the fun we had for a special night out! 02/27/07 baby! I continue to look hard at the sky and night sky of stars and try to find myself.
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