d htTi's blog: "Tra La La"

caught up in it, but confussed about it....one day perfect next day uncertain....what should i do if anything at all, afraid to persue but scared that ill fall....wanting something not sure i can have, yet do i want to take my feelings back?....terrified in so many ways, but what can i say im absolutely amazed....is it too soon for you to move on, when you were hurt so bad by the last one....should i let it go or keep things afloat....is it even my choice to say so?....how can i keep you if you may not be mine, maybe im just not seeing the signs....i want something real but can i have that with you? can you promise she'll be gone for good and always stay true?....my heart is telling me to walk away yet at the same time i want so badly to stay....what should i do im so confussed....when shes holding on to what i want to be mine and i feel as if im just standing on the side line....drawn in but slipping away....should i go or should i stay? my heart cant handle a heart-break so let me go if thats what it takes....

and then i wonder....if followed by many attempts....you constantly end in failer....meaning behind that could only possibly be?....im assuming that it means your not ment to be not permanently but for the time being....but how could you at a time in need be restricted from something you "think" you need so badly....strength....healing of a soul that never truely healed yet has only been covered up....time....but how long does it take? you should know i mean it is you about you your inner you....how could something of your inner being have so much control over you yet your not in control over it....AT ALL....what does it take to get to that point?....OVERALL....when everything seems complete....but how can anything be complete when your always missing something....but how can you find something when your not even sure what your looking for? yet all you have to go by is what you want....but what is it that you want? you "think" you know but when or if you get it then what? on to the next thing....or will that first thing be enough to keep you contently happy?....HAPPINESS....what does that mean and how do you find it....what makes a person happy? for everyone it seems to be so different....Life, Love, Work, Family, Friends, Money, Possessions....what is it....if not all....glancing across the way....what do you see? in your heart what do you hold? whats missing? why do you feel so incomplete? what makes you WHOLE?....REACH....maybe youll soon see that everything that can make you happy is staring you straight in your face....glance with your eyes but SEE with your heart.... that your happiness is at arms reach but you chose not to see....its ok to feel this way....dont reject what you know makes you happy....because you may soon see that you already have what you think your still looking for....the truth lies within the eyes so see the heart that fills your soul....looking past could result in misfortune....therefore i speak caringly....but i leave it up to you....SEE....

what if i told you that lately my feelings have been a little off track would you consider it bad? cause for a certain extent i have been wishing that our relationship would end quicker than it has been yet maybe im wrong for feeling this way it wouldnt be bad if i continued to stay STAY as in AWAY AWAY from you and all the pain that youve been CAUSING!

My heart is Dieing My soul is Numb This is what your lies have done Trust and Honesty Fading infront of me My life is put on pause This is what your lies have caused My heart is Dead My soul is Gone This is what your lies have Done

Depressed and Dazed Your life is drifting away Tears fall steadily From your pretty face Uncontrolable inner pain Will anyone ever understand The way you feel on the inside Decrepit thoughts your slowly dieing No patience, your heart is racing You cant stop thinking Analyze the situation Why are you hesitating STOP no more waiting Get it over with this all needs to end Kill the inner pain Im sick of suffering Happiness is so far away I cant grasp it, but I'm trying When will my life be complete Why cant I ever be happy? Will anyone ever truely love me? or am i destined to be lonely?