JohnJohn Doing the Naked Hokey Pokey Tha's blog: "try this"

Words Women Use: 1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". 4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud Sigh: Though not actually a word, this IS a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a man can hear a woman make. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying *@!% YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3. Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know its true.

Words Women Use: 1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". 4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud Sigh: Though not actually a word, this IS a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a man can hear a woman make. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying *@!% YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3. Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know its true.

Candy Store Rock (Page/Plant) Well... Oh baby baby. Don't you want a man like me? Oh baby baby, I'm just as sweet as anybody could be Oh baby baby, I want to look to your eyes, of blue Oh baby baby, It's more than anybody else could do Well... Oh baby baby. You know when I see you walkin down the street Oh baby baby, Well you lookin good enough to eat Oh baby baby, I dont believe I've tasted this before Oh baby baby, I want it now And every mouthfull more of you. Talk about you, Yeah. Oh baby baby, You know that I wanted it more Oh baby baby, I'm about to kiss goodbye to this store Oh baby baby, It ain't the wrapping that sells the goods Oh baby baby, I got a sweet tooth when my mouth is full of you. Ooh baby oh baby its alright, its alright Ohh baby its alright...its alright Well, oh baby, baby, oh you sting like a bee Oh baby, baby, I like your honey and it sure likes me Oh baby, baby, I got my spoon inside your jar Oh baby, baby, don't give me too much, don't make me starve Oh baby, baby, sugar sister on a silver plate Oh baby, baby, I need a mouthful and I just can't wait Oh baby, baby, see the shaking in my hand Oh baby, baby, don't mean to fumble but it tastes so grand Tastes so grand, tastes so grand, baby it's alright Oh baby it's alright, oh it's alright It's alright... (repeat)

Do you have an acrobatic mind? fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae na arocbitac mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 % plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervti sy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas!! Just wanted to say HELLO to everyone!! Sending Lovin' out to everyone also!! Smooch!! Been sick the last few days and i go back to work today. grrrr. I'm Pulling doubles Thursday & Friday. But off after that until next Wednesday! Wooo Hooo. I'll send everyone something this weekend. I have figured out how to get around the "spam" thingy.. wooo hooo... just take a little bit long. Wishin' everyone a happy New Year!! Ya'll are AWESOME!! SMOOCH!! MUAAHHHHHH!!

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY, NAUGHTY, SAFE, JOYFUL, AWESOME WEEKEND!! SENDIN' MUCH LOVIN' TO EVERYONE ALSO!! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO SMOOOCH!! MUAHHHHH! YA'LL MAKE US SMILE AND WARM OUR HEARTS EVERYDAY!! SHADOW & JOHN SHOWIN' YOUR PAGE SOME LOVIN'!! /photobucket.com/" target="_blank">d Image Hosting">

A COLLEGE CLASS WAS TOLD THEY HAD TO WRITE A SHORT STORY IN AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE. THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE: THE SHORT STORY HAD TO CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING THREE THINGS. 1. RELIGION 2. SEXUALITY 3. MYSTERY BELOW IS THE ONLY A+ STORY FROM THE ENTIRE CLASS. "GOOD GOD"! I'M PREGNANT! I WONDER WHO DID IT"?

TALK ABOUT TRUISMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. ++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled. 2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class. 2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping. 1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to School. 1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock. 2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant. 1973 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers. 2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English. +++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed. 1973 - Ants die. 2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. +++++++++++++++++++++ Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him. 1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota,Florida... From the Police Log from Sarasota, Florida; An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...... For the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. MORAL OF THE STORY? If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable.

This is hilarious. After you read the instructions, be sure to look at the pictures attached. How to Wash the Cat ... 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog