A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in th

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms s

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart .... Nice children you've got the

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doc

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain: God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted

n old man was sitting on a bench in the park. A young guy walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young guy looked, the old man was stari

A redneck walks in a bar and orders a beer. Looking around he notices a big glass jar behind the bar just packed with $10 bills. He asks the bartender what the money in the jar is for. The bartender tells him it’s the prize for a contest

The baby was coming way too fast so the paramedics were called. To make it worse, when they arrived, there was a power outage. The paramedics asked the four year old sister to hold the flashlight for them. Despite the difficulties, all went well and the

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special

A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis. A young nurse says "Why are you doing that?" He replies, "It died today." "Oh that's terrible!", the nurse replied The next day the man has his penis hang

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look toward sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I se

i might be cheap but you swear i cost a billion !!!!

WHO want's to buy this HUNK,,,,ANY TAKERS ???

MY owner ROCKS MY WORLD !!!!

thanks for all the help !!!!

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?' > Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

hubby says"i fancy kinky sex,can i cum in Ur ear?"wife says"NO i might go deaf" hubby says"i been cumin in ur mouth for 20years &ur still fucking talking!!"

The American flag does not fly because the wind moves past it. The American flag flies from the last breath of each military member who has died protecting it. American Sailors, Marines, Airmen, & Soldiers don't fight because they hate what's in front of t