Who do you have to blow around here to get a damn "Delete All" option? FFS!

Worry is a misuse of imagination.

If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand.

It’s not your fault that you’re always wrong, the weak ones are there to justify the strong.

If it's important to you, make time - not excuses.

The lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

The lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep.

Live before you get old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.

They told me go to hell, so I packed my bags and went with it. Little did they know they put me in my element.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you they can't laugh either.

I'm not exactly sure what language you're speaking, but it sounds a lot like bullshit.

Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth, and your head up your ass all at the same time?

Damn! Who do you have to blow around here to get a damn turkey bling?! I've played the "game" over 400x, and still haven't gotten one. This is bullshit!

If brains were gasoline some people wouldn't be able to run a flea's go-cart 2 laps around a Cheerio.

Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped off all these stupid people, but apparently they aren't coming back for them.

Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd from the clean end.

The reason women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees he will start unzipping.

I have to see the candy before I get into the van. I'm not stupid.

Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?