Jeff's blog: "6 months of frustration"

I should turn the blade from me to you. punish you for all the things you do. twist the knife and watch you lose your mind. this is your dead end and i feel fine.

A dark and lonely road, that we walk alone Will I ever see that place. A desert made of sand reach out to grab your hand But I can not see your face An empty beach at night, lit by the pale moonlight. Take me there again I am broken, I am down on Empty Will I ever find my end I am broken, I am down on Empty Will I ever fight again Can I stop and make my case What is this that you say, the love has gone away But I still can’t see your face Oh its what you wanted Take me there again I am broken, I am down on Empty Will I ever find my end I am broken, I am down on Empty Will I ever fight again

I am still wandering In front of you here I am still waiting For you to appear Pre Chorus I need someone to see me standing here I need someone to save me from my fear Doesn't matter to me Doesn't matter to you anyhow No one can see me standing here No one can save me from my fear Doesn't matter to me Doesn't matter to you anyhow I'm still waiting for you to NOTICE ME NOW NOTICE ME NOW Weak and powerless thats who I am I can not stay here And I understand

there is another sky ever serene and fair and there is my sky though it be darkness here never mind my faded forests never mind my silent fields there there be a little forest whose lear is ever green here there be a dismal garden there frost has never been i hold fading flowers there i hear the bright bee hum i must find the other sky

the storm rolls in with you by my side i stand adamant i face the coming destruction the storm comes bringing pain and sorrow it crushes the hopes and dreams of those caught by its fury but i remain unwavering, untouched, with you by my side

You take it You take all that they throw at you, and you keep going no matter what you push on You find a way to make it through this day, and then the next, and nothing is going to stop you That's what it is all about. The here and now "No," is never an option! You make the sacrifices, you fight, but you never give an inch You never show your weakness, 'cause I tell you this, they feed off your fear. You find love, and you fight for it, damn it No one ever said this would be easy, and it sure as hell isn't Bleed man, feel the pain, but use it to fuel you, use it to power you. Broken hearted and feeling disregarded, you make that step the hardest of them all, That first step towards a better tomorrow If she's worth it then you go all out If she's worth it, you make it happen Ask yourself this question, "Is she worth dying for?" Damn, If she's worth it, then you might die trying You do what ever it takes to show her, and then some. You will fight boy will you fight. But that's what you do. You fight you love you live. Fate only takes you so far, it's now up to you to make the rest happen. Your heart won't lie to you, You live once and that's all you get. No second chances, tomorrow is never guaranteed. When you die you want to rest your head on the fact that you did everything you could. No wasted hours, no second-guessing It's instinct and it's reaction. You take that first step then you follow right after with the second. You keep pushing, and nothing is going to stop you now. Never settle you're better then that. When you go down and you will go down in this fight, You go down swinging, but then you get right back up Love is war my friend. Are you prepared to fight? Are ready to love? If she's worth it then failure is not in your vocabulary. If she's worth it then today you fight, and then tomorrow you fight, and then the day after you fight, and you keep fighting for her love. Be real, Be brave, Be sharp, Be you Today you fight. Today you love.

Ok let me start out by saying that this is going to be me venting. the "glorious" command here thinks we're still in the states. our motto for this place should be "Welcome to our FOB where we are more worried about your uniform than we are about your safety" Ok seriously what the fuck. one thing they just implemented was no knives in the dining faculty. now if we have a knife they'll turn us away at the door. But if we go there WITHOUT a GUN they also turn us away at the door. ok so say someone snaps. they pull a knife. they might stab one or two people before their brought down so we're not allowed to carry a knife. now we HAVE to carry a gun there. so say someone with a 9mm snaps. their guranteed to fuck up at least 14 people before anyone could do anything that could definitely stop them. HMMMM wheres the sense in this. if anyone knows PLEASE let me know cause i cant figure it out. Another thing is this whole respect to people of higher ranks. yea sure whatever. as far as i'm concerned you only get any respect from me if you deserve it. if not i dont care what rank you are i'm not going to respect you and i'm prolly gonna avoid you at all costs just cause i dont like you. so yea when i'm talkin to them sure i'll say sergeant or sir/ma'am when i'm done talking but if you act like a jackass dont be all pissed off when i send it right back at you. Like if you ask me the same question 4 times in a row and i tell you no each time dont be surprised when you go to ask me again and i say "WHAT". back the fuck off. if i tell you something 4 times guess what i highly doubt on the 5th time i'm gonna change my mind. and dont come up on me after i say it and be like dont you talk to me like that. guess what i dont care who you are or who you think you are. if you act like an asshole to me i'm gonna be an asshole right back. and dont be a lil bitch when i yell it back at you. your a fucking human before your any rank. respect someone on that level and it'll be a start to me respecting you. now another bullshit policy they put into effect is the reflective belt. ok sure i'll wear it where it can be seen but for fucks sake dont flip out when i'm not wearing it in your exact fashion. the rule now is if its not draped over your shoulder you get 10.5 hours of extra duty. what kinda shit is that??? Where the fuck are we at? Prison? I dont know i think even convicts get treated better than us. Oh and we're only allowed to wear one shirt under our uniform. no layers to keep warm. even if we're going to the checkpoints immediately after we leave the dining facilty. god forbid we wear clothes to stay warm when it drops to 20 degrees out there. seriously what the fuck is you peoples problem. i'm sick of these pencil pushing lil desk jockey bitches implementing regs when all they do is sit on their asses in a heated office while we're out on points from 5 in the afternoon till 7 in the morning. Maybe i should just strip down naked and walk over to the chow hall with only my pistol but def. not my knife. at least then they couldnt complain about my uniform. hell my squad leader has a good idea why dont we just send all knives over 3 inches in length home wouldnt want to endanger anyone in a COMBAT ZONE. so now we have to take off all our gear that we have attached to our belts just so we're allowed to eat. hmmm how fucked up is that. then they wanna bitch if we're late to a point. well hey if we didnt practically have to change our entire uniform before we go to the chow hall before we go to point maybe that wouldnt happen. Other things i dont get. my roommate has an negligent discharge not very long after we get here. He loses rank, pay, put on restriction for 30 days plus 2 weeks of extra duty. ok whatever its bullshit but whatever. now there has been close to 6 other incidents just like his but what happened to those people? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL. and hell his discharge was into a clearing barrel. ISNT THAT WHAT THE FUCK THEIR THERE FOR????????? maybe i'm confused on that but hey whatever. Next our support crews such as maintenance..........ummm.......yea.....or lack there of i should say. they work like 10 till 3 if we're lucky. and thats 10 am to 3 pm, with lunch from 1130am to 1pm. then they wonder why we bitch when it takes them a week to fix a truck. then turn around and tell us that we need to do all the maintenance. sorry but pulling out a motor is our level of expertise. we're the ones on point for a minimum of 12 hours plus close to 2 hours before and after that shift that we're doin shit and thats every single day. and then they want to bitch cause they're always having to work on trucks. isnt that what the fuck your there for you stupid pieces of shit. why dont you fuckers go out on point for a month and see how the fuck you do. Then our unit level upper echelon command doesnt give a fuck about us. The marines get into our convoys back from the points and drive 3 mph the entire way back to the FOB. then when our boys pass them they get pissed off. they tell our command that if we do it again their gonna shoot at us. now if someone told you that they were gonna shoot at your people dont you think you'd come back with a swift and powerful response?? not our command they just roll over like the good lil puppies they've become. they wont stand up for any of their people. which is bullshit. if their not there to help their people out then what the fuck are you here for besides to get in our way. all i can say is let a fucking marine shoot at me. i'll turn it into open season on the pricks before they have any clue what just happened and i got plenty of ammo and guns to do it. alright well i'm done for now i'm sure there will be more to come i'm just so aggravated right now i cant hardly type. All i have to say is fuck these mother fucking pieces of shit that keep screwing over the people who are actually doing the real work around this damn place.