This is just something in my mind as im staying up all night yet again hehe... but anyway I have gone through all my life thinking why I'm less than others and it was so terrible to get picked on and mocked, for thinking you had friends when in all reality the truth was the ones you wanted as friends wouldn't give you the attention. To be brutally honest I don't want to sound like a completely arrogant individual but I have lived a very rough life, a life of chaos, envy, jealousy, deceat and so much more. As most of you prolly know the hardest thing to deal with in my life was the day I watched my uncle die at 5 years old he decided his life wasn't worth living, and shot himself right infront of me. Could you imagine the pain and guilt that would put a 5 year old through not knowing or understanding why his uncle shot himself while having his brains on your face ? But from then on my life went down hill, i was molested at 7 years old not even 2 years after my uncle killed himself. and then from there I was was put in foster care. The family was the Bass family, good going christian family. So I thought I would soon find out i was wrong about that too, as I was 7 years old and had witnessed my uncle shoot himself and had a problem with holding my urination, and when I urinated on myself my foster parents would dicispline me by giving me a 5 gallon bucket and make me move rocks that weighed an average of 5-15 lbs each from one end of a field to another as a discipline policy. Some may say that builds character, but however think about it a 5 year old honestly what business does a 5 year old have moving rocks that average not too far from his weight range not to mention the risk of snakes, spiders, lizards, and many other hazards. Well this went on for 2 years then I was moved back to my hometown to a foster home and these were not any better same situation with the urinating issues they would discipline me so wrongly by hosing me down and making me stand out in the freezing cold during winter wet washing my clothes, and also they would do so many other evil things my brother picked up the habit of stealing, and when he stole i would get punished along with him they wouldn't just take our toys away no they would take our toys break them, and then break movies, and etc. then when we got done out of foster care 1 year later i was home about i would say 3 yrs then I started to get into a violent stage after foster care I decided I was too good for rules, and used to hit my parents, brother, animals, out of anger. It was so bad that not even 2 years of that i was replaced in a therapeutical hospital and this was no better as I would be the same asshole. and then from there i went home and then not more than 5-6 months later I decided I was still 'The Boss' lol well i thought wrong as i gained a criminal record for breaking and entering and then got placed in a juvenile detention center where they would do evil things to the food like spit in it and stuff. well from the detention center i awaited a placement, that one was In Wichita, Kansas. where i witnessed so many things kids would actually rape other kids and soon I too would be a victim of sexual abuse or otherwise known as rape by more than one individual, well from there i went back home yet again but i wasnt satisfied there again and then got placed back in a therapeutical ward and well they finally got tired of me and kicked me out permanently. then i went back home started the same stuff only this time i had the stress of my brothers and sisters trying to kill me because they too were developping many stages of common disorders. Then one day i watched my mom get beat and raped by what was supposably her boyfriend still to this day i have never ever told anyone so feel lucky people.. well after that i got more shit to deal with got even meaner then went to a place in salina called Saint francis west, where i stayed for about 2 years watching kids get beat by the staff members watching kids choke other kids trying to kill them witnessing people stabbing others, getting stabbed, then on top of that i watched a kid take a suringe dirty mind you and draw blood out of it not having a problem medical degree he could have put an air pocket in his blood vessels and died from a lapse of the heart but he would take the needle draw blood get done squirt it out and then go back for more, well that freaked me out but as if that wasnt bad enough i developped a habit of fighting and i one time beat this kid up so bad he bled from his eye, nose, mouth and broke a couple of his teeth. well after all that was done i decide hey i like this fighting thing and well i got sent to a scared straight program where i was one on one with prisoners.. and they pissed me off and there i was put in hand cuffs and pretty much dropped on my head to calm me down. well after the scared straight program lol and goin out to dinner with a hot security guard at the prison i went back to the saint francis where i yet again saw more fucked up shit only this time it was staff members sleeping with the people they work with lol. and so many other things i have seen well this is a rough draft of my life events i hope everyone understands that i have made alot of progress in life and that i wont stop until its better and better and better lol....
p.s. i hope this doesnt change anything about how people feel about me i dont want people to hate me nor have a pity party because im fine now im stronger than i have ever been...
thanks and much love to all appreciate my life story,
Quentin
