Alright kids, here goes nothing.

I'm a big dork. I'm a level two (new dungeon) gnome fighter, I'm a dancer at the Rennaisance Faire, I enjoy Shakespeare and theoretical physics, and Firefly is my best reason for living. I'm also a generally nice person. That being said--

If you try to chat me up, and you are over the age of thirty-five, I will hurt you.

If you ask for nude photos, I will hurt you.

If you don't have the grammatical capacity of a twelve-year-old, you may as well kill yourself.

Treat me with respect, and I will offer you the same courtesy. Fuck with me, and I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

Are we clear? Good. Now, who wants to buy me a drink?