Little Mama's blog: "Close Your Eyes and Go Back"

Empathy- Your inner power is Empathy! This means that you have a talent for identifying others emotions, often by simply glancing at them. You are EXTREMELY shy and quiet. People sometimes dont notice youre around and seem surprised to find out you even exist in a big class. Youre the often silent, goody two shoes, and few get passed the walls youve built up to stop yourself being hurt, as you no doubt have been in the past. Not everyone understands you, in fact some think that youre a snob or worse because you rarely participate in group activities. Youre extremely sensitive, even the least harsh of words can hurt you. Only your very few, closest friends who have earned your hard-to-get trust know who you really are inside; a sweet, gentle young woman who is lonely and so desperately needing friends to support you. You can get very depressed and not always know why, despite your power of empathy, as it seems to only work for people outside you. Your friends always turn to you when they need advice or comforting, and in some way you need to give that helpit makes you feel better in return to know that youve helped out your friends. Despite your cold, impassive exterior and high, seemingly unbreachable walls, inside you are really a great, intelligent person, full of compassion and love, if only people would dare take a chance and try to get through your tough shell. Never let others get you down, or change you. You are very special the way you areeven if you dont have fifty thousand friends, you are just as, if not more extraordinary than everyone else. Reach for the stars, because I dont doubt youll catch hold of them. Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: A sweet, shy and romantic man/woman. The kind of guy/woman you know will never, ever hurt you, and will love you for ever. The kind of person who believes in true love, and soul mates. Your stone: Blue Topaz Your power: Healing. Emotionally, physically, or spiritually, you heal people with your words, your actions and presence. Youre the one that the little children are always drawn to, because they know youll never let anything hurt them. Your element: Clairvoyance (The power to see objects or events that cannot be perceived by the normal five senses.) A quote that applies to you: "True beauty shines from the soul and warms the world with its kindness, compassion , and integrity."

It amazes me how one can be so consumed with hate and negativity and still survive. How can someone be so judgemental of others and not once look at their own faults, their own ways. They never think about how their hate affects those around them. They don't realize that all that hate can turn something beautiful into ugliness. Another thought how can someone so positive, someone who can bring so much good to the world, let all that negativity and hate change what they are and what they believe. Life begins to feel hopeless with all that hate and negativity floating around in the air, and we just can't help but breathe it in. It seems to smother and consume us until there is nothing left. Until hate and discontent and negativity is all we know or remember. Then it seems you can't find your way back to that beautiful person you used to be. How nice it would be if we could forget all about that consuming fear that holds us here, never letting us move forward, only backwards. The past reminds us of pain and fear, hate and greed and most of all negative thoughts we can't seem to leave behind. It seems to eat away at us until we can't remember that there was once something good in the world. How many people in the world are walking around right now that only know how to look at the negative things in life. There are good things out there and we could be apart of it if we only let ourselves. How can we do this to ourselves. How can we be so content in believing that this pain inside is all there is and will ever be. We need to rid ourselves of the negative people around us. We need to surround ourselves with people who believe in us and have faith that somehow things always get better, usually when we're unaware. It's God's way of telling us he's there and he's watching. That we can go anywhere and do anything if we just believe that it will all work out in the end.He never let's us fall further than his grasp and he never puts anything in front of us to handle alone. We just have believe that he's there to guide us if we just ask him to. The prayers we send up to him never get answered in the way we think that they should. But they do eventually in good timing and with God's careful planning. We just have to believe in him, in ourselves and that there is something better out there for us. We just have to want it enough.

How can someone so sure about life before now be so confused by it and fate itself. I'm not one to be content with the way things are. I am constantly trying to better myself and those around me. I'm not a judgemental person don't get me wrong. I usually accept all people and am pretty patient with them too. But I just don't see how most people have the opportunity to make a better life for theirselves and just decide not to take it. How can they be content with having nothing or should I say with what they have and where they are in life. Myself, I want more. I feel held back from what I could be and what I could have in my life. Most of the time I let my feelings and others feelings get in the way of me getting anywhere. That's not who I really am though. I'm a carefree person but at the same time responsible if you can believe that is possible. I sometimes care too much for people and at the same time sacrifice myself as a person. I wish I knew what to do in my life right now. I feel like if I just sit back and let nature take its course. Will I live to be the person I know I can be. There is no promise for tomorrow. Will I have lived my life to the fullest? That's the question on my mind among some other really pressing ones that I can't disclose right now. I wish I could trust someone with the thoughts that seem to confuse me now. These thoughts could change everything as I know it. I guess you could say I'm scared to death to speak about them. Maybe because they could become reality! Who knows??? Sometimes I think that wouldn't be so bad and then I take a look at reality---and it leaves me screaming inside. Only I can hear the screaming and the pain. Only I can feel what's going on inside of me and the tears I keep holding back. Even without speaking those tears would speak a thousand words. But then it would change everything. So here I am just as confused as I could ever be, waiting for God to give me some kind of hope and understanding to this life of confusion.

Close your eyes...And go back... ....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC...... ....Before semi-automatics and crack.... ....Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari... ....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail.... ....way back.... ....way.....way.....way back..... I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk Red light, Green light Red Rover....Red Rover..... Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first...no...second...no...third Streetlight came on Ring around the Rosie London Bridge Hot potato Hop Scotch Jump rope Duck...duck....GOOSE!!! YOU'RE IT!! Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones Mother May I? Hula Hoops Seeing shapes in the clouds Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open The sound of crickets Running through the sprinkler Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom Cracker jacks with the same thing Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend ...but wait.....there's more.... Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons Fat Albert, Road Runner, Tom&Jerry, Heckle&Jeckle, Pink Panther, Richochet Rabbit, Schoolhouse Rock Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges, Tarzan, Shirley Temple OR WONDERAMA!!) Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar Your first day of school Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses Climbing trees Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers Jumpin' down the steps Jumpin' on the bed Pillow fights Sleep-overs A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH Runnin' till you were out of breath Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt Being tired from PLAYING WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes Your first crush Your first kiss (the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in the classroom, remember that? Oh, I'm not finished yet.... Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer So was a swig from the hose Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance; and another quarter a MIRACLE When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries...And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em! Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!" Well, let's keep going!! Let's go back to the time when... Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo" Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly" Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being old, referred to anyone over 20. The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. Nobody was prettier than Mom Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare" Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon. Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!