*The Greeks will understand the title! And if they don't, I have some wood in trunk to facilitate the understanding. I'm going to rehab for that, too.*
but for some of you non initiates (and you anti-fraternity, I'm not gonna pay for friends, they are too elitist , yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah, people) I'll break it down for you...
first let it be known that I didnt pay for friends.....after my pledge process I actually probably hated most of the older members....so after 14 weeks of hell....the last thing I wanted to due after being initiated is call those guys my "friends"....
but anyway.....it goes like this.....
when ever we messed up (and no matter what you do or say while pledging {being hazed} you are always wrong) and when you give a reason for your fuck up....it was called an excuse....and you learned this while getting beat with wood (a paddle)...
"Excuses are tools of incompetence..... those who use them seldom amount to anything....therefore as a (pledge)....I have no excuses, Big Brother_________."
anyway.....
Back in '98, that raggedy-azz rapper Silkk the Shocker had a single called, "It Ain't My Fault." This song serves as proof that
1) No talent folks can rise to the top of charts buoying my chances at one day gracing the Top Ten countdown on 106&Park with my single "Can't Shyt Help Ugly!"
2) Master P was more of a biter than Tyson in a Holyfield fight.
It's no secret that the Silkk song — with the refrain "Did I do that?" — bit the hell out of the Steve Urkel catchphrase.
That rhetorical azz question was a way of apologizing yet not admitting guilt.
It was a sort of an excuse..... Yet, still fell miserably short of the apologies necessary to amend for the Silkk's songstrocity.
Hey, I'm not a hater, but the Master P clan just sucked!
It ain't MY fault.
anyways.....
One of my favorite shows is The Simpsons...... Even after all these years, I can still watch the Simpsons daily.
There was this one episode where every time Homer did something wrong or got into some shyt, he would just exclaim, "It's my first day!" LOL
That ALWAYS got him out of whatever happened because, really, who can fault you for making a mistake on your first day?!?
Your first time around doing just about anything excuses you from it being entirely your fault, after all, you're still learning.
You burned up that chicken alfredo you were trying to cook for your man??...... Just say, "It's my first time!" and he'll kiss you on the forehead and take you out to eat.
Don't know exactly where to put your johnson?? Just say, "It's my first time!" and she'll graciously give you a pass.
Voted for a war with Iraq and then build your presidential campaign against the war? *cough*Hillary*cough* ......Just proclaim, "It's my first term!" and people will listen. LOL
Awww, did I offend some of ya'll out there?? ......My bad… it's my first blog!
"All is forgiven, Kavi."
Thanks.
I could really go on and on about famous excuses:
"The devil made me do it." — "The dog ate my homework." — "That bytch set me up!" - "I had another meeting at that time." -
"I was sick!" - "I don't have any money…"
Whateva' …flaky people…
But suffice it to say that while these are oft utilized excuses, famous folks have cornered the market on excuses.
Every time a Hollywood personality or politician fukks up, they blame it on drugs, alcohol, anger issues, or being molested as a child.....
Kramer goes into a nygga-induced rant? .....He blames it on anger.
Mark Foley rubs himself to instant messages from teenage boys? He's a drunk and a molestation victim.
Mel Gibson talks some shyt about Jews? He's got drinking problem.
Whitney walkin' around lookin' like a big-headed skeleton? She's got a drug problem - but not crack, she makes too much money for that!
And you know what they all have in common??
The greatest invention ever and the answer to your publicist's worst nightmares!
REHAB!!
Hell, even Savon/Dr.Burke/Isaiah Washington said he was going to rehab after yelling at another cast member and calling white folks folks faggots an' shyt.
Getting rehab for what?...... WHO CARES!...... Rehab gives him credibility again!
So rehab has been proven to help people deal with their anger, stop drug and alcohol use, and come to terms with abuse as a child.........But not only that… a NEW and IMPROVED use for rehab has been discovered!
Mark this day in your calendar folks........... I am pleased to announce that rehab can now cure gay......... That's right! Rehab cures gay!.......I even saw it on Jerry Springer today...... HOORAY!
Whether you smoke crack or lick it,....LOL...... there's a rehab center for you!
How do I know such a rehabilitation center exists??
Well, because Ted Haggard just completed it!
Remember him?......... He's the evangelical dude who led the National Association of Evangelicals....
He's the dude who fought against gay-rights and marriage and said that homosexuality was of the devil.
And he's the dude who was getting his trick on playing repeated games of "hide the sausage" with a male prostitute.
Hypocrite much?
And do you know what his initial excuse was??
The tried and true favorite excuse of men everywhere popularized by Eddie Murphy and Shaggy from Scooby Doo:
"It wasn't me." LMAO
Well after he was outed, so to speak......he went into retreat with four men of the cloth — and let's hope they weren't Catholic priests because we know how they roll!
He emerged from this retreat and proclaimed:
"I am now 100% heterosexual. I am no longer gay."
Halleujah!! Praise da Lawd!! God got the gay out!!
He says he wasn't really gay, he was just "acting out."
What is this.......7th grade Social Studies??....... Acting out???
Please......... He wasn't actin' shyt out but his fantasies.
I know.......I know........... I shoulnt be talkin' about these folks.
They made mistakes.....(although Ive met about 4 gay dudes since Ive been in Memphis and Id dare to think that they dont consider their lifestyles mistakes).....but anyway.....
They are trying to address the issue and become better people.
I should be ashamed of myself.
*hanging head in aforementioned ensuing shame*
The devil made me do it....... But it's ok ya'll…. I'm going to rehab.
From what I am hearing, rehab is the new black......Word is they're curing my addiction to porn starting next month......
say word....
