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decisions

decisions arent always easy some right some wrong but we all have to make em. someone i care about made a decision to move the other day and a long ways away and in with someone else. she said she needed to clear her head maybe she does but i'm smart enough to know she's going to be different he'll change her and i know she wont be coming back this way and i wont see her again. she told me once i scared her cause she never had anyone that cared about her like i did or was as good to her hell i was just being honest and being myself around her which was easy to do and i dont do good being around people. i live my life a lot differently than most look at things do things different and never had it easy dont get me wrong i wont complaiin about it thing was she never judged me or looked down at me like a lot do and once again i am smart enough to know i wont have that again so why look. now i guess its my turn to make some tough decisions mostly with some recent health problems the treatments are far worse than problem and with no guarantees this time so i made a decision after tonights treatment enough was enough and decided to take whatever comes a long and pretty much live each day my way and the way i think i should. never cared what people said or thought about me never will too much a waste of my time so my decision is not to worry about tomorrow take what i got and just get thru today and maybe i might be here tomorrow maybe not but i tried

why

why is it people you care about irritate you the most sometimes and why is it some of us dont have brains enough to walk away from a situation before we care or are attached to someone to much. i walked away from someone a few says ago because after nine months being told patience and giving i just couldnt take it anymore. i was always there for her when she needed anything and always giving but the more i think i never really got anything in return and i was willing to give her everything i had. i got told half truths and wasnt told the truth about a few things slowly the story changed till i knew what was going on and you know i didnt deserve that

thinking out loud

half truths are they really being honest or is it a way of being dishonest and convincing yourself your not really lieing to someone. never been one to say what if always did what i thought was right went after what i wanted always tried to follow what my head and my heart told me to even though i've never been one to follow the rules hell i've broken about every rule known but i've never hurt anyone intentionally and i go to bed at night without a guilty concience. life well some things you cant control most things you can you cant help help who you are attracted to who you care about but if they dont give you anything in return half truths or pain you can control how long you will take it even tho walking away isnt what you want to do pride is a hell of a thing and i wont let anyone take it from me life well i was always told if your to scared to live life then your not really living
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