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Do I really think???

Sometims I wonder what exactly I think. Do I really or am I just goin thru the world mindless? Its like my world is clouded so much most days.....wonder why? I try to think about what I want most but most times I cant concentrate...kinda reminds me of that country song "I Try to Think About Elvis" Ya maybe I have someone damaging brain cells within me....wanting to escape but is held captive inside my head...i dont know. Perhaps I dont allow myself to think because I dont want to be aware of the craziness that walks within this world around me....yet i find myself always aware of my surroundings...who's behind me? A child? Ah the games of stupidity...kinda makes one wanna just turn off the brain and enter sleep mode for the remainder of life.---like a robot. We are all robots during one point in our lives--almost like that of Cinderella--she did as she was told day in and day out...her mind was not her own...it belonged to her wicked step mother and step sisters...she however found her escape eventually from that darkness that caged her for so long. Perhaps I dont think because I dont want to escape the world yet that holds me captive...its a loveless world just goin thru the day unwanting to be hurt...so as for once a thought like fire burn within---I dont want a relationship...I dont want the pain that eventually comes after....ah I try not think for sake of saving my sanity...Goodbye world around me ....the voices inside my head say its time to leave.......I shall return....wait for me...I shall remain thoughtless til I come again...

What was I thinking???

I come online day after day....night after night...same people---same conversations....I got kisses...I got sex....I got drunk....i got a problem...I got way too many personalities running uncaged thru my head. Do I hear their voice???--Only in my sleep. At least I aint told to kill---like some delusional folks are. I wake up mornin' after mornin thinkin about the night before....what was I thinkin when I smoked out of a can??? Was I on crack???Stupid....Stupid...Stupid--the words echo in my ears--like buzzing bees. Ah what was I thinkin when I hit two poles outside a bar 4x--leaving me with a sprained right hand???--3days later a ring was cut off it via the apartment maintainence man.---my hero!!! I woke up from a nap sometime afternoon--what was I thinkin...tryin to get George Strait naked???--ya ok so he is hott for an old man!!!--Too bad it was just a dream!!! Thats it for now world around me--I better stop before my insanity spreads to you!!! Take care...go die...wow!!! What was I thinkin??? Oh wait that wasnt me--it was my alter me coming out to play....dont worry...i caged her quickly this time....Goodbye world around me---I'm goin skinny dippin' in my own thoughts!!!
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