*sigh* ok...
So because I had sex with Andy again, we're never allowed to see each other... wtf kinda shit is that!?!
See what happened is Amanda got her license n her n Stephanie were down here n we were gonna go see andy, we got like $7 in quarters of gas, drove to Westfield. Then we went to the wrong house, his was 2 away! Cuz I thought oh, blue house on Oak street, guess what... there's more than one... so we went to Quality and called here on a payphone, had chelle get the # outta the speed dial n write it down, called back to get the number, then called him. Amanda told him to be waiting outside haha I felt retarded. His house WREAKS of cats, he has over 15 plus kittens, one of which RyRy killed on accident last night. What happened w that was a bunch of kittens were layin on my hoody n I was like dammit someone get it cuz it was cold n we were goin for a walk so they could get munchies and he pulled it out from under them, not even that fast or anything, and it's neck and leg got broke. It looked so pathetic =[[ but yeah, I helped bury it, andy dug the hole, I took it outta the box (which I put it in) and put it in the hole.
But um yeah, we were there for like 5-10 mins and Amanda called her mom n had to be home in 15 mins so we had to go, well I didn't wanna leave yet so I told 'em to just go n I'd have my mom get me later cuz I forgot she had to work. So I tried callin n she was sleeping n Chelle told me to call back, so I did, and then I realized she had to work so I was like welllll u can just get me in the morning afterword then. she (who was on speakerphone) yelled at me cuz she didn't want me stayin there cuz she hates him n I don't have birth control n blah blah blah and she was pretty rude about it and Ryan started yellin in the background n I was like DUDE! SHUT UP! It was kinda funny tho cuz he seemed shocked my mother would talk to me like that which is pretty funny but I guess he has really Christiany parents so I dunno. So I started telling her where I was n then I was like fuck no! cuz I realized she was juss tryna find out where i was so she could come get me so I told her no and that was that n yeah. So then Ryan was tryna get w me like allllll night n I was like um no, he is pretty hott tho, but I won't have sex w someone at someone else's house unless it's theirs, plus, he's Andy's "friend" (Andy really doesn't like him tho). We walked from Andys' to Wilson Farms so they could get some munchies and then Andy wanted to see a friend so me n Ry waited outside n we were talkin n he was still tryna get w me n shit n he was like oh man andy would kill me n I gave that head tilted to the side confused look n he told me that andy loves me, he really does, I should hear him talk about me, he does it all the time... I dunno if I believe it or not tho. But yeah then andy went to orothy's moms' and we were waitin in the same spot n then ry said he was gettin cold so we walked back to andys' and 1/2way across the bridge some ppl went by yellin shit so we yelled back, they drove by again w a bat or gold club hangin out the window and i was kinda scared but ryan kept yellin then they pulled over at the car wash n one dude came running at us n that's when Ryan started to flake n I got bold. THen the dude comes up on us flashin a badge n yellin at Ryan to get against a tree n shit and askin his name n then he turned to me n asked mine then started yellin at ry some more n asked him his name again and ryan just stood there lookin at him waitin for the dude to start laughin and of course he didn't and ryan was like u asshole! u fuckign asshole! I mean we didn't even know the guy, turns out, he was a fake tho haha I almost had a paqnic attack n cried n shit, but I didn't, then Ryan ran over to the vehicle and hung on the side yellin at 'em n wouldn't get off when they were tryna pull away nI heard some bitch sayin somethin bout hangin out w trash and I was like whoah that's fucked up ppl don't even know me n their talkin shit, but I just kept walkin to Andys' and then Ryan caught up. So we get back there n he was all upset about the kitten again n then we just chilled on the couch n he kept sayin how horny he was n blah blah blah and I was like w/e n started going through his pockets lol. I took out his wallet n took his school ID cuz I told him I wanted it on the bridge n that I was gonna take it eventually n he was like only if i can get some head which of course he wouldn't cuz "I'm a lesbian" haha yeah... I'm saying that now, even tho I'm not and every1 knows it. But I tooked it and put it in my wallet w my collection. Then I played w his ipod for a few mins, it's soooo tiny haha and the scrolly thing's awesome haha. And he gave me this cool little tool thing w clamps and knives n a flashlight n shit. I still wouldn't put out though. Then he called Andy n Andy told him he'd b back in five mins n that Ryan had to go. So Ryan left and Andy didn't come back for like a half hour and I was reeeeally cold and Jamie, his dog, was on the blankets and I didn't wanna disturb her but w/e. Then he finally came back and we chilled for a while then we watched a movie w Tia and Tamera in it called Twitches, we <3 Disney. Then on some other channel there was an ad for porn channels but they were all PPV, he does have 1 free porn channel tho so we watched that n picked on the chicks' boobs and the guys' penises. It was fun. Then I started giving him "that look" but he wouldn't cuz my mom told me not to, but I didn't care and I got him to anyways like a half hr later. It hurt, a lot, for the first half n then I had a really bad cramp in my side afterward, it went away an hour after I woke up earlier. God dude, it was like an hour or some shit haha. I climaxed like 6 times.
(Like I said last time, can't expect there not to be too much info, ever)
And so yeah, that happened. Then we were watchin music vids and he fell asleep and I couldn't get comfy, plus I was cold, so I went n slept in the chair. My mom was callin around 9 n I heard the answering machine go off but I just fell back asleep, about quarter after she woke me up. I didn't wanna go yet but I didn't complain. Andy was still asleep so my mom went n waited in the van while I gathered my things. So I woke him up and gave him a kiss and said goodbye. I almost forgot my pooh bag too haha. Then we came home, I took a shower so my bed wouldn't smell like cats n I went to sleep. when I woke up I had dinner (breakfast) and my mom was like I know u said u wouldn't but did u have sex n I was like no and walked away n she was like swear to god n I was like no n she's like u don't swear to god n I'm like no cuz there is no god n rochelle was like u knwo she did u can tell by her face. So then she asked who n I was like Andy. And so yeah, she said I'm never allowed to go there again and amanda called n she wanted to talk to her n I was like no cuz I know what ur gonna say cuz she was gonna tell her not to take me to westfield anymore. Thiks is so fucked. I love him and now I'm not allowed to see him. They'll pay... wait n see... they'll be sorry they ever tried to break this love. It's not my fault she can't get over her fucking hate so why the fuck am I being punished??? I feel like dying.. so I guess I'll talk about other parts of the visit. I met another one of Andy's friends. His name's Brock, but it's German so it's pronounced different, I guess there's sposed 2 b those 2 dots above the "O" too. And I saw the ring Andy was talking about. It's gold and has a single diamond. It's beautiful. And um yeah he was like it'll fit u n I'm like bullshit and took the one I had off to show him the difference in sizes, mine's way bigger so he was like so who ever said u had to wear it on that finger and he slid it on my pinky, it matched the bracelet Stephy gave me perfectly cuz the bracelet's gold w rubies or some other red stone, it's hott. And I admired the 2 together for a min n took it off n gave it back so he could put it back in the case n he was like u wouldn't marry me if I asked u, he says that a lot, but I would. He's changed so much over the past few months. It's amazing. He did leav e one bruise on me, but it wasn't like before, he had one on his n shwoed me how he got it lol he pinched my arm fat n I was like fuck n he only did it for a second and not even that hard, but I guess thin skin bruises easily. And he gave me a Hilary Duff:Metamorphasis CD he burnt me a long time ago cuz mine got stolen, we listened to it too haha. And when we listened to the Graase soundtrack me him n Brock were singing along w all the songs (Ryan wasn't there yet). Oh, and after I woke up n ate dinner I had to get treated for lice or some shit, apparently someone gave it to us. I think Texas cuz he was itching his head a lot n then he burned the hat like an idiot in our drieway. I'm upset about that. I'm finishing up some of the laundry that needs done. So I took 2 showers today and now i'm wearing that red lingerie everyone thought was a dress in the full body pics. So yeah, that's what's been goin on the past couple days. And now, I'm depressed, and I'ma ctually admitting it for the first time. I've been sad or upset, but never depressed, and now... Idk what to do. I won't admit it outloud though... just on here... It still escapes though.. through shaking fingertips and half-opened eyes. I just dunno what to do anymore... I don't wanna lose him over this bullshit when he was actually gonna listen to my mother in the first place! I'm not gonna cry.. I won't... I don't want to be completely broken and I won't let my world falling apart crumble from my eyes.
