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Wow a lot has changed...

So I went and looked at my past entries in here although it was only two it was amazing how much I've changed.  I am now enegaged to a wonderful man and amazingly happy.  He is everything I've ever needed and so much more.  My heart is overjoyed to have him in my life.  I am more mature now.  With all that has happened and all I've learned from I am a better person today than I ever was. I just had surgery this past wednesday.  So I'm not really gonna write much more cause i'm feeling my pain meds.  Sooo with that I'll write more at a later time probably...if not oh well ^_^

is there something wrong

I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine last night...and we were talking about how we have been treated in past relationships...and so I've come to realize lately every guy I have had a serious relationship with has fucked me over.  Be it cheating or be it just treating me like shit they fuck me over one way or another.  I've been cheated too many times. So the question arises is there something wrong with me or do I just have shitty taste in guys?  It makes me nervous almost to start a relationship with someone for fear that they will do me wrong...again.  I am sitting here struggling with myself because I don't want to be hurt again.  I am so sick of giving myself over completely to a man just to have him break my heart again and again.  My ex fiance cheated on me while he was deployed in bangkok, not once but 4 times.  With 3 different women.  While I was faithful to him over here in the states as I went crazy from sex depervation.  Just the point is that I'm sick of guys fuckin other women while they are supposed to be with me.  I really have had some shitty guys in my life.  Maybe I'm just horrible in bed?  haha or maybe its cause I wont put out right away...whatever it is...I'm sick of it. 

And So it begins....

original date written [30 Jul 2006 | Sunday] And so it begins... Well I'll start this as....Some of you may know me...many of you will not. The reasoning for me writing this is actually from a conversation I recently had with a friend of mine. These are only my thoughts and opinions...So please if you would, read this with an open mind...And try to understand where I stand. I am a Juggalette. And of this I am very proud to say I am apart of the Juggalo Family. Many of you reject us...Society rejects us for what we stand for. Very few times we are given the chance to show the world who we really are. We are human just as you...who make mistakes but ultimatly we are shuned from the world. We are seen as an evil cult, But we are not. That is not what we stand for. We are full of love, unity, respect for eachother and thoes around us. Every Juggalo and Juggalette comes from many different walks of life. We are seen as bitches, whores, convicts, addicts...etc. But in reality, we are friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, hard workers...just like everyone else. We may paint our faces up, and dress kinda odd, but underneath we have feelings too. Some can brush things off easier than others, but in the end there is always that feeling of rejection. Now I don't care if you like me, hate me, whatever...but the family name doesn't deserve and shouldn't been seen as a negative. We are seen for the mistakes we have made, still make, but are always overlooked when we do something that is nobel. Like the charity events. And just helping people. And yes many of us make our own mistakes, and do our own things...BUT that is our OWN business not anyone elses. But it hurts me to see the family's name being treated like shit. We help eachother, and frankly anyone who is in need of help. I always help someone as much as I can and I know plenty of Juggalos and Juggalettes who do the same. We are human...and we deserve respect too. I know this may seem quite redundent. But this is what I feel I must say. So bless you all, and May health be your friend. Goodnight dear reader, and thank-you for taking the time with an open mind to read this. - Kaity, A proud Juggalette...
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