So I went and looked at my past entries in here although it was only two it was amazing how much I've changed. I am now enegaged to a wonderful man and amazingly happy. He is everything I've ever needed and so much more. My heart is overjoyed to have him in my life. I am more mature now. With all that has happened and all I've learned from I am a better person today than I ever was. I just had surgery this past wednesday. So I'm not really gonna write much more cause i'm feeling my pain meds. Sooo with that I'll write more at a later time probably...if not oh well ^_^
I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine last night...and we were talking about how we have been treated in past relationships...and so I've come to realize lately every guy I have had a serious relationship with has fucked me over. Be it cheating or be it just treating me like shit they fuck me over one way or another. I've been cheated too many times. So the question arises is there something wrong with me or do I just have shitty taste in guys? It makes me nervous almost to start a relationship with someone for fear that they will do me wrong...again. I am sitting here struggling with myself because I don't want to be hurt again. I am so sick of giving myself over completely to a man just to have him break my heart again and again. My ex fiance cheated on me while he was deployed in bangkok, not once but 4 times. With 3 different women. While I was faithful to him over here in the states as I went crazy from sex depervation. Just the point is that I'm sick of guys fuckin other women while they are supposed to be with me. I really have had some shitty guys in my life. Maybe I'm just horrible in bed? haha or maybe its cause I wont put out right away...whatever it is...I'm sick of it.