Simply Clueless 808's blog: "Internet connections"

Uh have you bothered to read my profile? Duh I have rules I myself broke and need to fix it now . So I am doing my deleting tonight. I want you to know I am real and not just a number in your list . So Adios If you get mad well there are some really nice young girls I can send you to. Not interested in being a MILF.

hey simply i am sorry hun but after all ur effort ur points was 21834 and Trin points were 25035 making her the winner but i dont feel like u lost as i know that u are a cool friend and i would do a contest of urs or play in another of mine that will be more fun and i appreciate all that u have done wow u gave it a run for the money Pharoh

She worked her butt off in the Elimination contest and it was sad to see her go . Come on everybody lets show her we love her with just one rate no games not add fan just rate the pic is all she needs . Show the love today Good luck sweets hope you win it. You got mine and 4 more soon lol Sandee

MESSAGE FROM PHAROH hey hun as u can see this is becomming harder and harder as the grand prize is getting closer and closer. Yesterday u had accumulated 15399 points and today u have a grand total of 18607 points keeping u in the game and in the semi-finals for the prize. i am so thankful for u playing and look forward to tomorrows elimination as this is such a good fight for top. keep up u are so close now pharoh Ps the person eliminated was 240 points less then u hun

OK SORRY FOR THE CAPS LOCK I AM NOT SHOUTING VERY LOUD. I NEED YOUR HELP NOW IN RATES ONLY ONE COUNTS SO IF YOU GOT SOME GREAT FRIENDS THAT WANT TO HELP A FU OUT I NEED IT NOW I NEED RATES TO STAY IN THE COMPETITION AND I NEED THEM ASAP. TIME IS IMPORTANT AS THE POINTS ARE SO CLOSE I HAVE SPENT 4 ENTIRE DAYS DOING THE BOMBING ON MY PIX. I NEED SOME HELP FROM MY FRIENDS. HERE IS THE LINK SINCE I HAVE NOT POSTED IT LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY. I WILL BE DOING SOME OTHER BLOGS TO LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW I DID AND IF I MADE IT TO THE FINAL ELIMINATION. I HAVE WORKED HARD AS CAN BE AND IT IS NOT FOR THE POINTS, BLAST,OR FUBUCKS IT IS BECAUSE I AM 51 AND MY LEVEL IS LOWER THAN THEIRS AND THEY ARE SO MUCH YOUNGER. OH MY DEDICATED FRIEND THAT NEEDS NO NAME PUT IN HERE WORKED HIS TAIL OFF HELPING ME AND TO MY DAUGHTER WHO TOOK OVER DOING THE POSTING OF COMMENTS WHEN I WAS TOO WORN OUT. I AM VERY HAPPY TO HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND I HAVE ALL OF YOU TO THANK FOR IT.TO ALL THAT RATED ME I WILL GET TO RETURNING SOME LOVE TO YOUR PAGE AS WELL. IT HAS BEEN AN EXPERIENCE I TELL YOU. THE OTHER GIRLS THAT WERE DELETED ALL 5 OF YOU. YOU WORKED YOUR BUTTS OFF AS WELL AND MADE ME WORK EVEN HARDER. UPDATE TO FOLLOW. SANDEE AKA ♥ Simply ♥

Hey my friends please give her a rate it only takes a rate no bull to get in just show her some love she helped me alot so show her what terrific friends I have . kisses to you all i will be back on line in a few ...Daughter duties Love and kisses Sandee

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal it she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the shit out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color.....

There's an old lady in the carpet store and she bent over and touches the carpet and she farted, When she gets up she notices that there is a salesman standing behind her. She then asks the salesman, "How much is this carpet?" The salesman replies, "Well, lady...if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."