Trust... This word defines so many things in life. The ability to trust another, yourself, and the world around you.
I have been strugling with trust issues for a few months now, but not on another person but within myself.
I make very poor judgements most of the time and calls that tend to affect my life terribly. Why do I do this to myself?
I am a kind caring and very loving person, but when it comes to things of the heart, I tend to build a wall until the trust level can be found. I had a friend send me a cute little thing... it said..
I've built a wall around my heart,not to keep someone out but to see if they care enough to find a way in.
That says it all, this is just what I do. Now I wonder if I know when someone has really made it inside that wall. I guess today I'm a bit sad and alot alone and cnfused. I know what I want I'm just not sure how to get it.
I guess at times we all feel a little confused. When you get hurt really bad its hard to find that beautiful balance again.
So many have told me they worry about me "Worry I will never recover" I suppose you would have to be or have been in my shoes to totally understand that statement. I know it took me a few days when Sandra and Sheila said it to me. But now I know what they meant.
I am begining to find that trust and love again, but it sure is hard when so many people in this wolrd tell you one thing and do something quite different.
I guess if everyone would say what they mean and mean what they say then everything would be so much nicer. But we are talking about a very imperfect world. Right?
Well Thanks for listening to my babble... I am leaving for now.. I'm not sure how many really read these but they sure make me feel better.
