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when i think back on all the things ive done it makes me sad. It makes me wish i hadnt hurt the people i have. The changes ive made are effecting the people in my life direrently. I wonder sometimes if there is a way to please every body but i know the only one i have to please is myself. But im not pleased with the the maybe i should haves in my life. Its that hind sight that keep sober people drunk inside. It says to thy own self be true, but what if ones own self is not acceptable to him or others. this is the self i lost while drinking, i had so many masks i wore for diff people i lost the original. It may sound negative as hell but what needs to be done is a real fuck em all and roll with myself as i am, to certain ones i have to be patiant and understanding. some its love me or leave me . people say they find serenity in sobriety i cant find it beceause maybe i dont deserve it or am not looking overanalyzation will be the death of me like i said just rambling punch me in the shout box love JAS
Ive found myself stuck in my sobriety. Kiinda like when u save up for a car and u finaly get it u dont save for the car any more. One of the reasons i got sober was to show the woman i love that i can change. Well all b dam i changed. Last night at a meeting i realized that i cant stop changing because there is no seal the deal with the woman you love gentleman we have to earn our love from our ladies every day never take them for granted or have stupid expectations from them. Accept that they love you 99 percent and youl work the rest of your life for the remaining one percent and they will love u 110 percent and not tell u they have to want to love you and be with you a piec of paper can be used to wipe your ass with cuz it isnt worth anything if your lady doest love you. so get to work men were waaaaaaaaay behind
what happens when you get what you have always urned for? Ill tell ya. You finally can accept that every thing is going to be okay. All your worrys are wipped away for awhile. Colors get brighter and people get less annoying. Ur confidense will rise to a new level ( like I relly need that) The void that you have always wanted to fill is flooded with warm fuzzy things and u can actually feel them sometimes and it tickles.
Your goals get bigger because u get the feeling theat you can do anything and in my case as an alcoholic everything. Every reason to feel like shit is gone. I dont have a reason to pout, or feel unworthy. I cant get down on myself because she wont let me. Doug smith told me once if ur in hell keep on walkin. I crawled and took every lash and poke from the demons i had created and loved and cared for in my own little version of the place. I wasnt a god in my world i was a slave. And liked it. sic huh.
thats all changed i am now probably the HAPPIEST guy on the planet because i know know if u work hard and stik to ur guns things will happen so in a nut shell quit ur bitchen and fight ur way thru it. LOVE JAS
well iguess i should write somthing about myself. My name is jordon and i live in iowa. I dont like pnctution i figure if u cant get past how i write ur not interested in what i trying to say any way. I got sober on march 17 of 2008 my gf at th time almost died of alcohol poisoning and other people arund m were dropping like fly aswell. It took someone that i loved with all my heart to almost die to get me to stop drinking.
Now that im sober i look at life as somthing that i can actually be good at and am kickin ass at so far. As some of you from the peach already know im a bit of a nut and dont care becease thats how God made me. I love to have fun. If i not having fun im not living and thats what im all about. Ive met some cool people here on fubar and i thank all of you because ur giving me support and dont even know it. To all my people in peach paradise i love u guys.....love JAS
well for some reason it says im 32 well im 28 just a little dude who used to like to party. Been sober 18 months now and lovin it.
Hey yall check me out Little guy big heart
