NaughtyGurl's blog: "Jelly Bean"

For all the times you made me laugh For all the times you made me smile For all the times you encouraged me For all the times you listened to me when no one else would For all the times you shared part of your life For all the times you trusted in me For all the times you complimented me For all the times you cared about me For all the times you thought of me For all the times you were there when I needed you For all the times you gave me comfort For all the times you gave me advice For all the times you didn't judge me I thank you Thank you for always being there to listen and understand me. Thank you for all you did for me, And all that you still do. Thank you for making me feel worthy, For helping me put the pieces back together. And Thank You most of all for showing me how to be myself. Thank you Teddy Bear Leigh Ann ... JB

Never felt better in my whole life... What's going on down there? People everywhere Why are they just standing there Wait, who's that Oh, it's just some girl Why is she still laying there That man over there is yelling at the others to get help The poor thing is hurt Why don't they help her My God, she will die if they don't hurry and do something Please help her Wait She looks...like ME My God, No How can this happen This has to be a dream Yeah, that's it Where's that light coming from I'm not dreaming Please God, There has to be something you can do Please!!! I'll do better I swear Ok, don't cry I've got to go back Down there He's trying to breath life into me Hurry up before I die Hurry up before... Hurry up Goodbye

Not that I haven't touched the morning dew Nor wished upon a shooting star, Not that I haven't smelled the montain rain Nor felt the soft soft skin of a new born child, Not that I haven't layed in a spring meadow Nor cuddled in the warmth of my mothers arms. Not that I haven't seen the colors of the rainbow Nor the sun setting in western sky, Not that i haven't heard the silence of the winter snow Nor children laughing and playing without a care. But I would give this all up to kneel at His feet and wash them with my tears, To be glorified in His presence, To look into His face. And I would serve Him with all my heart Leigh Ann

Some days I just wish. I could run and hide. No matter where I go. Suicide seems my only way. My life is not worth it. All this pain and suffering. I dont want to be here anymore. The only way is suicide. Nobody can help me. I cant fix myself. Nobody knows the real me. Suicide is the only way. I put on this false act. And slap a smile upon my face. When really Im dying inside. The only way is suicide. All I ever wanted was. To be loved and accepted. Just to feel the warth of your love. But you never loved or accepted me. Suicide is my only way. Leigh Ann