Doneta's blog: "Jokes"

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human Beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must have been scary', said the teacher. 'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went Ffff 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he could say 'Fuck', the Rottweiler ate him! The teacher wet her pants laughing...

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/08071701.html you got to check this out this is so adorable.

The Birds and the Bees: A father asks his 10 year old if he knows about the birds and the bees. I don't want to know!! The son says bursting into tears, promise you won't tell me. Confused the father asked what's wrong? Oh Dad, the boy says, when I got six you gave me there's no Santa speech, at 7 I got there's no Easter bunny speech, when I was 8 you hit me with there's no Tooth faity speech, If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for!!

A man says to his girlfriend, "I'm feeling kinky tonight. How about I cum in your ear, baby?" His girlfriend answers, "No way! I might go deaf." Her guy replies dryly, "Bullshit! I've been cumming in your mouth for 20 years, and you never shut the hell up!"

One day a teacher had a taste test, she picked a little boy to do it, she blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked do you know what it is? No, I don't said the little boy, okay I will give you a clue its the thing your Daddy wants from your Mommy before he goes to work, suddenly a little girl at the back of the room yelled, spit it out! It's a piece of ass!!!!

Steve had suffered from blinding headaches for many years, since his late teens. He decided to try one last time to remedy his situation, and went to see a headache specialist.The doctor said, "Good news is I can cure your headaches .The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."Steve was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.He couldn't concentrate enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need a new suit." Steve entered the shop and told the salesman,"I' d like a new suit."The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long."Steve' laughed, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!"Steve tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Steve admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Steve thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Steve and said, "Let's see . 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck."Steve was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!" Steve tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Steve adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Steve was on a roll and said, "Sure."The salesman eyed Steve's feet and said, "Let's see . . . 9-1/2 E." Steve was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Steve tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. As Steve walked comfortably around the shop the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Steve thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Steve's waist and said,"Let's see size 36."Steve laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. A 32 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a HEADACHE.

Blonde and pregnant The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running Up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up And down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great, tell me why you're so happy." She stopped Jumping and, breathing heavily from all the Jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I Knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more?" She Said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are Going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting Pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said.... "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and They actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"