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God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,"
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled and said, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."
To celebrate their graduation from College, once every ten years a group of buddies get together to celebrate their friendship.
In their 30's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. Their waitstaff wears really low cut tops.
In their 40's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Lets go to Franchesco's Their waitstaff wears really tight outfits.
In their 50's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Lets go to Franchesco's they serve a really good steak.
In their 60's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. They have the best Martinis.
In their 70's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. They have handicapped parking right by the front door.
In their 80's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's, we haven't been there before.
A soldier, a marine, and an airman got into a fight about which service is best. The fight was so heated, that they killed each other.
Soon, they found themselves in Heaven. They see St. Peter walk by and ask, “Which Branch of Service is the best?”
St. Peter replied, “I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him.”
Some time later, the three see St. Peter again and ask him if he was able to find the answer.
Suddenly, a dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. The dove was carrying a note in its beak. St. Peter opened the note and read it out loud to the three fellows:
“Gentlemen: All the Branches of the Service are ‘Honorable and Noble’. Each one of you has served your country well. Be proud of that.
(signed)
GOD, USN (Ret.)”
