webpal's blog: "just for fun"

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?", asked the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things go". It wasn't even a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible,doctor!" "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying; ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there. He took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"? "Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the misses felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" I found the remote," he mumbled.

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?" " No, sweetheart," she responds. Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?" "Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says. "One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either." Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?" Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?" "I was out getting a tattoo." "A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis." "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?" "Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow... Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money.... And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!"

I drove my car to a restaurant 50 mile from me since I was afraid friends I knew might see me going into a motel with another couple, Chuck and Sharon picked me up in their car drove to a motel; they all ready had a room so it saved some embarrassment on my part. When we went in the room, Sharon, reached over before I even had a chance to put my purse down and started to rub my tits through my blouse, then she pulled me to her, I knew she was going to try and kiss me, kissing a woman was not something I had thought about before, all my thoughts had up to that point been of a woman performing oral sex on me. Instead I did let her kiss me it was a very passionate kiss, truth is very erotic in fact. Chuck started to undress, he was watching Sharon and I, and I got the impression he was into voyeurism. Sharon unbuttoned my blouse unsnapped my bra started to suck on my tits. My nipples were rock hard; to feel her small tongue circle my nipples was turning me on. Chuck stood there naked, I looked to see if he had an erection but instead he was playing with his soft cock. It was obvious to me now that he wanted to watch Sharon and I. So that turned me on, the thought of making him crazy with desire. I started to relax which was good because Sharon was pulling down my slacks; I wore my prettiest panties, red with white roses sewn on. She slid her hand down my panties into my anxious waiting pussy and moaned I was so wet knowing what was about to take place. Sharon then took her hand out of my panties and put her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them as though they were a cock, she then pulled my panties down and got on her knees, I was tense yet I wanted it to happen, I spread my legs a bit to let her in better, I thought she was going to lick my pussy but instead she fingered my pussy till I was dripping wet, I could feel the juices on my inner thighs, the juices were pouring from my pussy. All this time Chuck was jacking on his cock. My panties were lying down around my ankles; it was obvious I was hot because I keep opening my legs for more and more. Sharon stopped fingering my pussy and lead me over to the queen size bed, laid me down gently, I thought now she is going to lick my pussy till I had an orgasm, wrong, she started to finger fuck me again, Chuck walked over to the side of the bed leaned down and sucked my tits, this was the first physical contact I had with him so far. Then something happened that shocked me; he started to slap my tits with his cock, at first I was a bit frightened not knowing what I had gotten myself into, Sharon stopped fingering my pussy scooted up to the top pf the bed, put her fingers in my mouth and said “I want you to taste the sweet juices”. Damn her fingers were so wet! Chuck was still slapping my tits with his cock but it did not hurt, in fact it felt different a good erotic feeling. Sharon went back down to the foot of the bed, spread my legs and with one big lick cleaned my pussy of all its wetness. She was moaning I was moaning and before I knew it I had my first of many orgasms. Chuck watched the whole time, watched his girl friend pleasure my pussy, then another surprise, he jacked off on my tits, and had Sharon stop licking my pussy and clean my tits off. Then they change positions and Chuck ate my pussy while Sharon sucked my tits, she was standing leaning over me sucking my tits, and I felt her hand reach for mine and guide it to her pussy. Again I was a bit scared but I had agreed to do this so I felt I had to please them as well. A pussy feels so strange inside, warm, wet, ruff with ridges in places yet very soft. I have seen enough porn movies and masturbated enough to know what to do to please her; I kept my finger in her pussy and rubbed her clit till she clamped down on my finger with an intense orgasm. Now I was really getting scared, I was afraid next she would expect me to lick her pussy and I was not sure I could go through with it. But instead chuck flipped me on my knees and started to lick my pussy from behind, then lick my ass, damn I was is fucking horny, he then stuck his cock in me slowly, Sharon slide under me and licked my pussy while he fucked me. I had the most wonderful orgasm. After Chuck had an orgasm he had Sharon clean him off and she sucked him to another erection, this time he fucked her and I did suck on her tits, I must admit I like it. It felt like sucking on marshmallows with nipples :) This went on for 5 hours with rest in between, sucking, fucking and licking. Chuck must have been taking vigara because once he got hard he stayed hard. Chuck asked me if I would do anal with him, I lied and told him I never had and really did not want to try it. He at least said okay. Once during the day I sat back and watched Sharon and Chuck eat each other and fuck, it was cool watching. I think because this was my first time at FMF Sharon knew I was a bit scared of performing oral on a woman so she never pressured me to try, for which I was grateful. When they drove me back to my car they said, lets get together again soon, I said love to but I have not as of yet. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a woman eat my pussy and so I did. I had always heard a woman knows how to please a woman, and take my word for it they do! I hope you enjoyed my story :) Sherry

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend, well she was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two years of age, wore very tight mini skirts + very low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test”. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

The Nine Important Men In A Woman's Life! 1. THE DOCTOR: because he says, "Take your clothes off." 2. THE DENTIST: because he says, "Open wide." 3. THE HAIRDRESSER: because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown?". 4. THE MILKMAN: because he says, "Do you want it in the front or the back?" 5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR: because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it!" 6. THE STOCK BROKER: because he says, "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while, and then slowly fall back again." 7. THE BANKER: because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. 8. THE HUNTER: because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots. 9. THE TELEPHONE GUY: because he says, "Would you like it on the table or up against the wall?

WHO SAYS ENGLISH IS EASY! To all the English scholars who pride themselves. Who said English is easy ? Fill this blanks with Yes or No..... 1._____I don't have a brain. 2._____I don't have any sense. 3. ____ I am stupid. 4. ____ I am mad.

if life Were Like A Computer: - You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. - You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! - You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. - You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy. - You could click on "find" (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys. - To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! - If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start a new life!

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