azizaRL Wife to WolfieHis bitch forever's blog: "Life"

Well i officially had my last surgery on my leg this past Wed. and so far so good. They took about four inches of bone from my left hip and placed it on my tibia and also they placed a new plate down the length of my shin. Hopefully this will be the last one. To be honest i am sick and tired of surgeries and pain medications. At least when i take them i can't feel anything. The hip is the worst of the pain. Can't sleep well because i can only lay on my back. Even laying on my right side hurts all to hell. But i am still alive so i have to be happy for that much at least. Its been a while since i have been on here and i am so glad to be back. Missed chatting to all of you. Hope that everything has been well with you my friends and i look forward to hearing your comments and such soon. Blessed Be, athena

Well i am getting ready to go off line for a while. i need to get rid of this computer to help pay off a fine and will not be able to get back online till my Man builds me my new computer. i will miss all of my friends dearly and if you have my number you know where to reach me. If you for some reason don't have it and would like to then please message me before Saturday as that is when i am taking this back. The only people who won't get my number are those that i really don't talk to or i just don't really want to talk to. Again i shall miss you all and this place. Oh and i really will miss Club Raven and all the great people there. Those that know whom you are have become like family to me. i hope that all continue to do well in their lives and that those that have been having troubles or issues will get better. Blessed Be, raven p.s. i posted this here and for the main stream just in case someone missed it the first time.

Well i had the most Wonderful weekend of my life so far after my Man and Master came down to see me. He was everything i could have imagined and more. His smile alone makes my day better and well all i can say say is He+me+floor and toys=Wooohoooo. Talk about not being able to walk or talk for like 24 hours. Thanks to Him i was able to look positively at my surgery Tuesday. It went really well and they were able to get everything done without much trouble. Still had the breathing and blood pressure issues but not so bad this time. Didn't have to stay overnight. The pain isn't too bad and though i still have one more surgery to go i know in my heart of hearts that it will finally be done and will go great. Just last night i found out that my Man gets to be with me for that week too. So not only do i have Him to look forward to, i know that He will be here to take care of me and as He put it..."To baby me" ~giggles~ He's a sweetheart and i couldn't ask for a better One in my life. At least He doesn't lie to me nor does He ever try to come between my children and i. There is a person right now that is trying so hard to not only come between He and i but between His and my friendship. i believe the reason behind it is pure envy. They can't stand it. Though they have someone, though they are supposedly in love with this someone they are Still trying to get my Man to come be with them. Sleep with them and what not. Makes me proud to know that He will never and would never do that to me. Seeing as He loves me, is in love with me. So though they try and try and try to get their own way and though they continue to whine piss and moan about how much they need Him to come sleep with them and do things for them and try and save themselves from themselves i am content in knowing that He and i were meant to be and that Nothing and No one could ever come between U/us.

All Alone I sit here all alone, in the darkness of the night. Wondering what I can do, to make everything all right. I question what went wrong, with all the things we used to do. Unsure of where or when, things began to come unglued. The sound of your voice, was sweet music to my soul. Now everything is gone, so bleak and so cold. I sit here all alone, in the darkness of the night. So damn afraid, I can't make things right. Written By Raven 2007

Love Eternal The words flow from her lips to fall gently upon his ear. Said shyly and quietly, as if in fear. Eyes glimmer like bright gems as she gazes lovingly at him. A tentative touch, a soft stolen kiss. Heart slowly learning, yearnings anew. Strange and wonderful emotions swirling deep inside. Building, surrounding till its caught forever. Emotions of love and trust final and binding. Together their hearts and souls merging into one, as her fear lifts and soars. She is his, he is her. Love Blessed Eternal. Written By Raven in 2005.

Well seems my hand is finally better. They took the casts off yesterday on both my hand and leg. i get to wear a knee imobilizer but its much better than having that damn straight cast on. At least now i can take a shower without having to pull on a stupid rubber leg lmao. And i can type again woohoo. Since my birthday is coming up...yes i Am actually celebrating this year i get to go out for dinner and a movie with my family. Dark Chocolate Fudge cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Now my birthday is next Friday but we are doing the party this friday. That's what i get for having parents that work or have shit to do. Its ok though. Will be here Friday night to chill and celebrate with all my friends here at fubar. You guys are great. Peace will write more some other time. Forever Yours, ravenwolf

Ok here is more aimless ramblings. i sat all night listening to phantom of the opera and godsmack. i know great combo right? Well i realized that its going to take someone that can be that passionate to Ever get me. ~smirks~ So where the hell is my angel of music? ~sighs~

As i sit and go over some of the things that went wrong in my life i do have to also look at what has gone right. So far i am blessed with very beautiful children and some friends that i Know would never let me down. As for the ex? Please i am so over it. He screwed up not me and as far as i can see he isn't worth dirt. For someone who claims to not to look down on others that is something he always does. Suffice it to say the jerk has to pay for a new wall because of me ~evil grin~ In my book i feel justification and a small order of revenge. In saying that i am moving on and moving ever towards my ultimate goal of moving the hell outa pa and to a place that's much warmer and where i know i can relax for the first time in years. The only thing that sucks is i have to wait for it. Isn't being patient a bitch? As to my up coming surgeries i am not sure when the last two will happen. Hopefully soon as i just want them done and over with. It seems that my hand is healing up nicely so they should be able to do them. Then again who knows i do live in the middle of no where's land with idiot doctors. We shall see and i will make sure to keep my blog up after i see my orthro on the 4th. Anyways i have said and rambled enough for the nonce. Blessed Be and Stay Safe, raven

So i recently broke up with the one person i "thought" was the One. We seemed to match on every level and everything appeared great. Sadly i was mistaken. To say that his temper is out of hand would be putting it mildly. Anyways i have realized that moving on is much easier when i have the great friends that i do in my life. They know who they are. They have stood by me through everything. Even when i've called at two in the morning. Love you beth. So in stating that i decided to just cut ties with my sudo family up here in pa because they of course wouldn't know the first thing about being supportive or on what a person needs. Getting ready to head south where hell at least it isn't snowing and friggin -5 degrees. Yes its that cold here in NorthCentral PA right now. Damn i hate the cold. So why am i blogging about life if i am content with it? Because i want to. Its my blog and i'll say what i want. Besides i need a great place to vent. Myspace is just too much drama these days. Seriously i can't even say i'm bummed without certain people saying and i shall quote them..."Quite having a pity party for yourself" Sheesh. Thought this was the land of the free and i was free to feel what i wanted. Guess i was wrong there. Then again currently i never seem free to do anything. All that is going to change in a little over 9 months. Starting over is hard but its something i Have to do. No more letting people walk all over me and no more acting like things don't bother me anymore. While yes most things don't and i just let people do what they want there comes a time when a person just has had enough. When being walked over because i'm nice and because they think that i want to hear all their woes becomes too much. Yes i am there for my friends. Those that really matter and again they know who they are. But i am sick and tired of picking up the slack for those that only seem to need me when They have problems. When They need someone to lean on. Funny how that works. They need something they come to me. i need something and they say...Sorry to busy to help you or try to be there for you. Well that all ends now. That goes double for relationships. i am so done catering to the other person even when the other person does Nothing to help the relationship grow or doesn't help better things. Anyways i have done enough ranting. Might at some point post a few poems and things of that nature. For right now this blog is done. Always the free spirit, raven P.S. Beth and Wolf thanks for always being there when i needed someone and you know i'm here for the two of you. Love you to pieces and think the world of you.