i did not think it was possible to miss someone this much. he has only been gone since tuesday, and it feels like a lifetime. to not be able to touch him when i want, get a hug, see him smile, hear him laugh. wake up and know he's right there. to not have his help with the house and the kids. it is so empty here with him gone. i can't stand it. for 3 years, we have not been apart. now this seems endless. i am filled with a loneliness i can't describe. i wish i could have held him a little longer, kissed him a little better, spent a little more time before he left. i feel so alone. 4 kids in the house, and i feel lost. next friday cannot come soon enough for me.
