A year ago today the hopes and dreams of a father was crushed. The life of his child was extinguished. I am that father. The loss of my child, Vincent, has left a scar on my soul that will never go away, nor will the pain of that loss go away. The mother belonged to a highly christian family. That did not bother me, but because I am not a christian her family helped her loose the baby by getting her drugs, cigarettes, and alchahol and let her do these things in the house causing the death of my child just because it wouldnt be raised the way that they wanted it to be does bother me. There is a void in my hart that I cant fill and it grows a little bit every day. That void is bitterness, haterid, self-loathing,... negativeness in all its forms. There is an old indian story that says every person has two wolves within them. One of light(good), and one of dark(evil). These wolves are in a feirce battle. People ask which wolf wins? The answer is the one that you feed the most. Lately i find the dark wolf is winning. My hart turning colder as the weeks go on. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of finding the ability to love the way i did back then. But until that day comes i must deal with the blades of perpetual sorrow and hide it as well as i can.