Boots RL Wife to Drunkdevil05's blog: "ME"

I dunno anymore I feel like it is just the same shit different day!!  I am the one that is always os busy that I hardley have time to get online and see my friends.....no wonder why I don't have that many.  The internet anymore is just becoming a hassle....I thinkI would be a lot happier if there was no computer in the household at all.  That can't happen though the husband needs his time on the computer, every day when he comes home.  Is it his release?  Does he not want to be here?  I dunno but he likes being on here and if that is what he wants than that shall be what he gets.  I am thinking strongly about deleting all my accounts on everything and just keeping my e mail.  That is how some of my faimly is able to keep up with me.   I just don't know what to think or feel anymore.  I am lost and would like to find my way back but I need a helping hand.

Sometimes I have to truly wonder what the internet is.  Is it a tool or an escape.  Most the time it is both but sometimes it is an enabler to emotions that you just don't want to deal with.  Along with having to let things go and know that nothing can or will get out of control.  I don't know I am rambling I see certain things and  I am bombarded by feelings that I don't know where they came from or what exactly to do with them so I sit and think.  Then I write it usually in a blog.  It then for the moist part goes away.  But some of those thoughts are always sittin in the back of my mind.  I look and I watch and inside I tell myself that things are OK.  Are they??  Well that is it for now.  Got other things to go explore and look around.

Now that I finally am able to get back on the computer I can do the things that I want to.  LOL!!!!!  Not that I van't when I want to it is just that I am always so busy and usually someone else has the computer that I just can't find the time.  My niece and nephew have been in town for about a month now, and you can't just let kids be!  I have been racking my brain figuring things out for them to do.  I just told them last night that we get to go to the hay fields this week and go pick up about 500 bales of hay.  Yeah, they were so excited LOL.

I am going to try and keep up on fubar, I enjoy the time that I am on here....I like the fact that I can get drunk and not spend a "penny"  So I just happened to look at t he time and I need to get some new pics in my albums and then I need to head out to the barn.  I really need to ride my horse,, it has been a month since I have rode and I think I am starting to go through withdrawls.