NightWolf's blog: "More Poetry"

Depression isn't obvious but suicide is. My pain nobody sees. My my mangled body they shall see. My head was all but a mess. Depression overtaking me. Suicide was to be my bid for freedom. Becuase deppression isn't obvious but suicide is. Depression is never obvious even when its staring them in the face. But now suicide will be obvious how can it not? Now my life is too much to bear. Suicide I shall commit. Now its obvious but its all too late.

Life is a prison, Oh God let me out. No one to listen, To hear when you shout. Climb the walls of insanity, Ride the waves of despair. If you fall it don't matter, There's no one to care. Used to wish for a window, To see birds, trees and sky, But you're better without one - Stops you aiming too high. Watching freedom is painful, For those locked away. Seeing joy, love and happiness, Another price that you pay. Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true. Your mind makes the choice, And enforces it too. Cell walls built by society, With rules to adhere. If you breach the acceptable, You had better beware. Hide the pain, carry on, Routine is the key. Don't let on that you're not, What you're pretending to be. Lock it all up inside you, How badly that bodes. Look out for that one day, When it all just explodes. Leaving naught but a shell, Base functionality too. But killing all else, That was uniquely you. So how do you grow, With a timebomb inside? Or how to defuse it, Without destroying its ride? You can't.

thoughts of u in my head thoughts of u lying dead thoughts of u with out a head thoughts of u lying dead lying dead on the floor with out ur head with blood and goor thoughts of u lying dead are always running threw my head

I lie naked under the Stars The pale moonlight shimmering on my flesh Four lowly hyenas slowly circle Chanting their hideous Sutra A lone crow flies above Cackling Its eerie eulogy One hundred ants wait orderly in line With their jaws wide open Ready to pay homage And fetid flies buzzing around Eager to offer their precious Blessings...

I lie naked under the Stars The pale moonlight shimmering on my flesh Four lowly hyenas slowly circle Chanting their hideous Sutra A lone crow flies above Cackling Its eerie eulogy One hundred ants wait orderly in line With their jaws wide open Ready to pay homage And fetid flies buzzing around Eager to offer their precious Blessings...

My dark pen howls and weeps The moment it touches paper My mouth screams out obscenities Whenever I attempt to speak My eyes see only red My favorite color My head explodes during the night As I wander in and out of reality.

A bomb explodes inside my head! I wake up in a Daze Badly shaken Try to climb out of bed .. lose my balance and fall .. on a heap of old newspaper, dirty dishes, soiled underwear Lurch into the bathroom .. the bathtub is so wide and deep .. now vertigo sets in I totter on the brink .. collapse and hit my head on something hard Total blackout... When I come to .. I hear loud noises from above Oh, God They are cutting a hole in the ceiling .. to jump down and take me away I have to get out of this place I crawl unsteadily into the street The sunlight is so bright .. blinding my eyes The noise is deafening The cars moving so fast .. how can I cross the street? I fall again into total Darkness.

They merrily gather around the brightly-lit dinner table Eating, drinking, laughing Reminiscing about the good old days I lie in bed Alone Counting the cracks on the ceiling The children play innocently Happy to see their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma Sometimes they even ask aloud as who I am! The nightmares of childhood Still haunt my Memory They love to gossip about me Telling one another that I'm bitter Crazy In need of salvation I seldom leave my room Quiet as a shadow Avoiding them like a vile Plague Somehow I have become a Stranger In my home.

I get a funny feeling, it comes from deep inside. I get all mad and angry, wanting to go and hide. My doctor calls it depression, my dad says it's just me. But the thoughts and feelings, no one will ever be able to see. Some say I'm psycho, some say I'm just weird. It's like I'm a different person, and the old me just disappeared. I get really edgy, I want to commit suicide real bad. Then I get a headache, followed by feeling sad. I wish I could get help, I wish it would go away. Maybe if I keep praying real hard, it will some day.

A son is hated, driven insane. The schizophreniac became more withdrawn into his life. His mother monitored the strife. He needed love that was not there. The schizophreniac despaired. The hatred penetrated all. The hatred scaled his mental wall. But years ahead when mother died, the schizophreniac inside arose, and crept one lonely night, and killed his father from his life.