tassoman's blog: "My Business"

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" On Purpose! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere in a hurry, absolutely anything you wear is fine. REALLY! 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

If a Bra is an Upper Topper Titty Flopper Stopper, and a Jock Strap is a lower Decker Dick’ey/Quary checker, and a roll of Toilet Tissue is a Super Duper Doody Pooper Scooper. What do you call a Japanese Drummer Boy whose father has Diarrhea? A Slap Happy Jappy with a Crapy Happy Pappy

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, switch sides." REPOST FOR HUMOR.

DAMN...I'M SO FUCKIN UPSET!!!!! I GOT ARRESTED TODAY FOR POSESSION OF GOOD LOOK'Z. THEY HOLDIN ME AT THE STATION SAYIN DAT ONLY A SEXY PERSON CAN BAIL ME OUT..... YOU COMIN OR NOT??????? DO I HAVE ANY REAL FRIENDS HERE ON CT TO BAIL ME OUT. SEND THIS TO AT LEAST 10 OF YOUR SEXY FRIEND'Z INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU IF U GET IT BACK 10 TIMES U KNOW UR LOVE BY YOUR FRIENDS AND IS CONSIDERED SEXY.

First dates for most people are stressful situations, but they do not have to be. Dates should be fun and exciting experiences. If you remember the following things, and use some common sense, your date will have a much better likelihood of succeeding. • Focus on the other person. • Remember you're there to have fun, so enjoy yourself. • Go into it with a positive attitude, after all your first impression must have been good enough for them to go out on a date with you. • Be yourself. This is very important. Most people can tell when someone is misleading them and it is not an attractive feature. • Try to be outgoing. This will help make you feel more comfortable around your new acquaintance. • Ask questions about the other person to start to get to know them better, but stay away from questions that have to do with past relationships on the first date. • Do what comes natural. At the end of the date, if a kiss seems natural, then kiss them. If a hug seems natural, then hug them. • Be sure to show your date your true self such as your: likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, general info. Be careful no to take a point to an extreme as this can make you seem overbearing. • Keep the conversation interesting. There is only one thing that is worse than silence on a date and that is a mind numbingly boring conversation. • If your date feels as though you enjoyed the date, then they will be more likely to except a second date. Do you know someone who would benefit from this? If so REPOST this page for them.

I cannot ease your aching heart, nor take your pain away; but let me BE YOUR FRIEND AND I WILL TRY TO COMFORT YOU IN MY OWN WAY, and you can trust and brace onto me, I will listen to your problems, give a little advice, or stay and talk with you today. I'll listen when you need to write or talk, I'll give you comfort in words AND PICS, help to dry or KEEP away your tears; I'll HELP YOU FORGET your worries when they come, and I'll help you face your fears with comfort. i promise to be a strong and faithful friend to all who're my friends.

I WILL BE ON A PRIVET PROJECT FOR A WHILE BUT WHEN I RETURN I AM HOPING TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH MY ONLINE PRESENT,WHICH IS TO POST PRIVETE PIC OF MYSELF AND OTHER MALE MODELS FULL XXXX RATED (FOR ALL MY FRIENDS AND FANS ONLY) ALL FRIENDS AND FANS, THOSE WHO VISITED MY PROFILE AND WOULD LIKE TO VIEW THESE PICS PLEASE REPOST THIS NOTICE AND SEND FRIEND REQUEST. AS A INTRODUCTION PLEASE VISIT MY PHOTO FOR A GLIMPS OF WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. PLEASE REPOST.

I PRAY THAT I MAY LIVE TO CONTINUE F**KING ALL THEM HEATED B****ES AND HO’S, UNTIL MY DYING DAY. AND WHEN IT COMES TO MY LAST DAY, I THEN MOST HUMBLY PRAY EVEN THEN IN THE LORD’S GREAT CAST, THAT I WILL BE GRANTED THE CHANCE TO HUMP ONE LAST HO BEFORE I PLACE THE GREAT 9” LONG ANACONDA TO REST ON MY CHEST.

GETTING A WOMAN TRUST OK, I WILL FIRSTLY ASKED YOU, ARE YOU SINGLE OR INGAGED PRESENTLY, IF THE ANSWER IS OF THE NEGATIVE, THEN I'LL ASKED YOU TO BE MY VALENTINE BECAUSE I WILL ONLY BE THE VALENTINE TO A SINGLE OR DISENGAGED WOMAN, BEING SOMEONE VALENTINE IS SERIOUS, BOTH PERSON HAVE TO BE DISENGAGED. I WILL TRY GETTING TO KNOW YOUR INNER DESIRES AND DREAMS, BECAUSE WOMAN HAVE WHAT IS CALLED A WALT DISNEY FANTASIES, WHICH WAS IMBEDDED IN THEIR GENETIC, WHICH IS DREAMING OF A PRINCE CHARMING WITH A HAPPILY EVER AFTER THOUGHTS, SOME ONE TO LOVE AND TRUST YOU AND TO BE HONEST, HANSOME, STRONG AND GOOD IN BED, KNOWING WHAT IS YOUR EXPECTATION OF YOUR DESIRED DREAM MAN, AND TRY TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE AND BUILD YOUR TRUST BY PATTERNING MYSELF TO YOUR DESIRE, AND LET YOU CERTAINLY TAKE THE LEAD IN EVERYTHING, I WILL JUST LET YOU GUIDE ME INTO THE HAPPINNESS AND PLEASURE OF YOUR DESIRE, HELP YOU TO BE RELAXED AND BRING OUT THE INNER YOU. I THINK LETTING YOU HAVE YOUR WAY OF THINGS WITH ME AND THE RELATIONSHIP, I WILL BE ABLE TO KNOW AND SEE YOU BOTH SIDES, THAT'S OUTWARD AND INNER. THEN I WILL BE IN A BETTER SITUATION TO SAY THAT YOU CERTAINLY WILL BE MINE AND WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO REFUSE ME, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE SURE TO BE IN CONTROL ALWAYS, WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED. AND IF YOU WANT TO BE ARROUSED HERE IS ONE FOR YOUR TEASING. ..

I HAVE NOW POSTED MY CLEAR PIC BECAUSE OF FRIENDS REQUEST, HOPE I AM LOVED.