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What are you waiting for?
Well lets see where to start. A few months ago I allowed my ex to come back into my life. Things were going great. We were "working" on things. Then I found out he was living with his ex gf and her bf. Her and her bf broke up so it went back to just my ex, her and her son living at the house. When she broke up with her bf my ex decided that he didnt know what he wanted anymore. Today he finally came clean and told me that the reason shit went downhill when her and Matt broke up was because he realized he didnt know if he wanted to be with me or her. Then he said He was lonely thats why he wanted me back into his life. Now he is saying that he still wants to be with her but she doesnt want to be with him. So pretty much he is wanting to keep me around incase nothing ever happens with them again. I am so tired of being lead on and used. I am done. I am done with him and I am going to once again pick up the million pieces of my heart and try and move on. I am so tired of always getting hurt. I have never been in a relationship where the guy has been nice. Always have been with assholes and I am tired of it. For once in my life I want to be with someone who loves me and wants to be with ONLY me. Will I ever find it I dont know. I hope. But then again I am scared to allow myself to fall for anyone again. Tired of getting hurt.
OK lets see where do I even begin with this??? I am still all pathetic and single, but I think I have come to terms with the fact that I should just live my life to the fullest and not worry about being with a man who more then likely would treat me like shit. That is all I have ever found. I think I am attracted to the assholes who do nothing but treat me like shit and beat me. So I have put my foot down and I am not going to settle for anything but the best. With saying that I am sure I will be one of those old ladies home alone with all my cats and wearing my mumu's around the house. Ok I am going to just shut up now because I know no one wants to read this stupid shit anyways. Once I lose all the weight I am trying to then maybe Mr. Right will come into my life. Thats one thing about living in SC. Guys dont look twice at girls with meat on our bones. If you arent a Barbie then you might as well just start collecting the cats and the mumu's. Im totally annoyed right now.
Well I am thinking maybe I should leave fubar for alittle while... Just not feeling it right now maybe its because ive had a real shitty week. I dont know. I am also seeing now that people who said they were my friends and wanted to be in my life were all just being liars and didnt mean any of it. The ones who are dear to me know who you are and I love yall so much and so very happy that I have met yall on here. But yeah if you dont see me for like a month or two im taking a break. If you have the cell number then you can always text and call me there. But we will see I will probably get drunk or very bored and get back on here. Who knows.
