The AuDioAsYLuM's blog: "No happy endings."

Ok, at first I was pretty sad & disheartened @ the news today. Another icon leaving us to the grey of the world for the colorful unknown after. But now, after some time to think about it....Im just fucking angry. Following a year tht has taken so many beloved legends from us involuntarily, how does a person tht is surrounded by family & voices including their own choose to be so selfish about their pain. That they couldn't find ANYONE to reach out to but instead chose to share their pain with the rest of us in a way tht cant be acknowledged or softened.To hold it inside til it reaches this horrific finality. How does one decide I will live no longer & rob My family & My friends of My light forever. To make the decision to leave all who love Me in the wake of pain & sadness after Im gone. How does this happen. I know pain. Ive have been on thresholds of it I wouldn't wish on anyone. I make friends with it every waking day now for the rest of My life. And though My pain is mostly physical, inner pain can be just as destructive if not managed properly. But no one will know if you just give up. Maybe Im just lucky because not once since I grew out of the childhood angst we've all been thru have I said in My adult life I will go no further. I will pass on My pain to loved ones tht will be sad @ My passing. Sure we've all felt it @ times being grown-ups. Especially @ those grown up times. 
But yet WE go on & most of us dnt have the access to the help or reassurance others are privileged to have @ their disposal. And if a the everyday ordinary soul can find it in themselves to move forward everyday w/out the fame, fortune & most of all, access, then there's no excuse for not speaking up when one needs to when the anguish inside gets to be too much. Find a friend, a family member or even a total fucking stranger if need arises but fucking speak up! SHOUT tht shit out if u have to. Scream, cry, yell. But dnt leave the rest of us behind thinking you didnt have anyone to talk to. Dnt go away leaving us w/ the doubtful thoughts tht we could have helped had we only known. Dnt fly away leaving the rest of us w/ nothing but great sadness & infinite question. Silence is our own worst enemy & suicide leaves a wound tht nvr heals in the hearts of those you leave behind. 
Farewell Cornell. I hope you found what your looking for. 😔
~háá nilyį́į́h~