well what can i say it is alot harder than i ever imagined to get life in order im sat here thinking of my gorgeous son and wishing i could cry and scream i would give my life to hold him one more time smell his gorgeous baby smell see his beautiful smile see him pull tongues at me one time or just to sit there watching him sleeping i feel so alone i have no one to turn to no one to care how i feel no one who will ever understand how i feel it is 11.30 at night and all i want to do is to go and sit by his grave i wish someone would just sit there and listen to me let me just talk but there is no one i know i sound self centred and and atention seeker
