xX Beautiful Disaster Xx's blog: "Poems"

Where is he? The man who hides in my dreams. The no named man who visits me everynight while i sleep. I feel no need to hide the inner me, for he loves me for all my flaws no matter how big or small. Y cant he come out and save me from my pain. Must he hide inside while i slowly die outside. So the question lies y must my quest be so agonizingly long when he is so close, or is it just a dream?

As i cry these silent tears i put a smile on my face, like makeup, a normal routine. Hoping this time you will look into my eyes and see the pain that i hide. Why is it you say you love me but you ignore me. If this is love i want no part of it. Must i hide inside with these tears i cry? Will i mess up your perfect little world? When will you open your eyes and see the door and let me out? Cant you hear me screaming banging on the door? The key is in plain sight cant you see it, just look into my eyes! I guess i must move on hoping the next will use the key to unlock the door!

As i watch my world fall to peices all around me i pick up the glue and peice it all back together just long enough to watch it fall again, picking up the peices as i watch the ppl go by kicking their feet with their noses in the air all i can do is hold my head down in shame crying unware of the water surrounding me all i can do is let it take me in,drowning hoping and preying that someone anyone would look out and see whats right in front of them screaming JUST LOOK! As i slowly drown unnoticed i close my eyes just long enough to see the dawn and start drowning all over again!

You said you would catch me as i fall. I turn around just long enough to see you with your arms streached out, but as i hit the ground hard i open my eyes and look up to see an empty room. So cold all alone "what have i done to desirve this" i scream in to the cold empty room. Just waiting for someone to come find me just a helping hand. No more tears to cry as the pain grows stronger, close my eyes and let the cold take over.